Biting

[Willow]

Just curious for all who believe the other thread is going to be a GIANT catalyst condoning providers start going around biting children in their care.......have you never had a parent ask you to spank, humiliate, give soap, slap fingers etc etc? And when those exact scenarios are discussed here does everyone start assuming that -omg! Someone said the words so now we're all in danger of falling prey to taking actions we've been trained to know aren't acceptable by law??

I'm sorry but that is so beyond silly.

It's also sort of a slap in the face to the OP to assume that just because she read something somewhere about what a parent could do, that that would automatically inspire her to do something unlawful.

I'm sure she has her own brain and it functions just fine independently of what she reads or sees on the tv. It's obvious she thought it may be an available last resort for her own reasons, and was corrected.

Please stop assuming she is so easily influenced by a single sentence on the internet that just so happened to be misread by one other person.

[JoseyJo]

Just curious for all who believe the other thread is going to be a GIANT catalyst condoning providers start going around biting children in their care.......have you never had a parent ask you to spank, humiliate, give soap, slap fingers etc etc? And when those exact scenarios are discussed here does everyone start assuming that -omg! Someone said the words so now we're all in danger of falling prey to taking actions we've been trained to know aren't acceptable by law??

I'm sorry but that is so beyond silly.

It's also sort of a slap in the face to the OP to assume that just because she read something somewhere about what a parent could do, that that would automatically inspire her to do something unlawful.

I'm sure she has her own brain and it functions just fine independently of what she reads or sees on the tv. It's obvious she thought it may be an available last resort for her own reasons, and was corrected.

Please stop assuming she is so easily influenced by a single sentence on the internet that just so happened to be misread by one other person.

No, I didn't think the other post would be a "catalyst condoning providers start going around biting children in their care".

I DID think that there would be an outcry against a DCP posting that a parent should bite a child harder!

I understand that parents will parent how they want, and yes I have had parents say I can spank their child (which I responded that I could not and would not ever do that). BUT- To me it wasn't a very far leap from "Oh, this DCP posted that a parent should bite their child harder so they will learn their lesson" and "Oh, this DCP worked it so child could bite themselves and learn their lesson" to "Oh, maybe I should bite the child myself to teach them a lesson."

As far as I have read the OP hasn't said yet why she thought she should bite the child. When/if she does then we will know!

[Play Care]

No, I didn't think the other post would be a "catalyst condoning providers start going around biting children in their care".

I DID think that there would be an outcry against a DCP posting that a parent should bite a child harder!

I understand that parents will parent how they want, and yes I have had parents say I can spank their child (which I responded that I could not and would not ever do that). BUT- To me it wasn't a very far leap from "Oh, this DCP posted that a parent should bite their child harder so they will learn their lesson" and "Oh, this DCP worked it so child could bite themselves and learn their lesson" to "Oh, maybe I should bite the child myself to teach them a lesson."

As far as I have read the OP hasn't said yet why she thought she should bite the child. When/if she does then we will know!

We had a provider in our town who was very highly thought of. Always full, with a wait list. I have two of her former dc kids. Apparently she would have the other kids do back whatever was done and if they couldn't, she did. My one dc boy stepped on another child - he claims it was an accident - and because the other child was too small to step on him, she did it for him. Another time she had my dc boy bite another child back...I agree that for the most part people are smart enough to understand the difference between what is allowed as a parent and what is allowed as a provider. But not everyone.

[Willow]

When it comes to physical aggression I am a firm believer that pairing them up will solve the problem.

Will I actively encourage it? If it were my kids, and in many different situations, yes. If someone clocks my son on the bus you bet I'm going to tell him to stick up for himself and clock the bully back. Why? Because 9 times out of 10 it'll work to curb an aggressor.

It's human behavior 101 and yes, even one year olds can easily grasp the concept. If I bite I'll get bitten or smacked in a pained panic back....so maybe I shouldn't do that anymore! I wouldn't get involved in any physical back and forth but absolutely believe kids can learn best from each other when you get to talking biting specifically.

I don't think it's developmental and I do believe parents and providers alike use that crutch as an excuse to let it continue on far longer than it should.

[Blackcat31]

Are you suggesting biting him because someone else gave you that advice on another thread? I read recently a thread where someone suggested this. BAD ADVICE!! Not only is it child abuse, what does it teach the 18 month old? That adults bite, too. So biting must be okay.

Here is the actual quote from the poster that suggested the child get bitten back.

Call me crazy, old school, cruel or whatever but I'd tell mom to take him home and if he bit her or anyone else again she should bite him the heck back.

And hard.

Maybe invite the cousins over and set him up to knock out a few eye for an eye lessons asap.


I've never seen a biter that finally got a taste of his own medicine bite much beyond that.

Now, I have to say, that in hindsight when reading this thread I too, thought of the previous thread (with the above quote) and did remember that someone suggested the child be bitten back.

I did not recall at the time who said it but I did remember that the poster suggested that the provider have the MOM bite her child back at home.

So, yes I too, thought perhaps OP in this thread was hinting at biting the child back because someone had suggested that previously.

I personally have no advice as I have been lucky enough to never have had to deal with a biter but I also think that biting a child back (regardless of WHO does the actual biting) is not at all something I would ever condone, suggest or accept as a solution to this situation.

I guess if I did have a biter in care, I would keep them separated AT ALL TIMES and never allow them outside of my direct line of vision so that they did not become a liability to anyone.

If I exhausted all efforts to curb the biting with no luck, I would ultimately have to term them as I am not equipped to deal with ONE child at the risk of giving the other children less care nor would I be willing to continue allowing ONE child to be a threat to others in any capacity.

[Sunchimes]

I'm the one who had the earlier thread about biting. I got some great information today, so I'll share it.

One of my dcb is in the early intervention program. He has some under-sensitivity issues, so we do a lot of touching, massaging, rubbing, and joint compression to help him focus on what is happening around him. He is the target of my biter, so I talked to his therapist about it today. She said that at this age, they are so full of the "newness" of the world around them that their nerves are almost bouncing off the wall. It's like they need some of the same focus processes that my dcb needs. Biter was sitting near her while we talked, and she reached over and was doing some minor joint compressions, massaging his joints, etc, just casually. She stopped and he moved closer and wanted more. In minutes, he was so relaxed that he fell asleep, mid morning, before lunch, and after an early morning nap. It was amazing! The touches release a chemical in their body that relaxes the tension in them. I can't remember exactly how she explained it, but it helps DCB focus on his surroundings and it seemed to help biter focus on other outlets for his frenzy.

She said it would help the 2 year old with some of her tantrums if she was having the kind of day that seemed to lead to frequent tantrums.

I'm going to start lining them up and do the exercises as an assembly line!! ::

[craftymissbeth]

I'm the one who had the earlier thread about biting. I got some great information today, so I'll share it.

One of my dcb is in the early intervention program. He has some under-sensitivity issues, so we do a lot of touching, massaging, rubbing, and joint compression to help him focus on what is happening around him. He is the target of my biter, so I talked to his therapist about it today. She said that at this age, they are so full of the "newness" of the world around them that their nerves are almost bouncing off the wall. It's like they need some of the same focus processes that my dcb needs. Biter was sitting near her while we talked, and she reached over and was doing some minor joint compressions, massaging his joints, etc, just casually. She stopped and he moved closer and wanted more. In minutes, he was so relaxed that he fell asleep, mid morning, before lunch, and after an early morning nap. It was amazing! The touches release a chemical in their body that relaxes the tension in them. I can't remember exactly how she explained it, but it helps DCB focus on his surroundings and it seemed to help biter focus on other outlets for his frenzy.

She said it would help the 2 year old with some of her tantrums if she was having the kind of day that seemed to lead to frequent tantrums.

I'm going to start lining them up and do the exercises as an assembly line!! ::

This is awesome! Would you happen to know what I can google to get ahold of more information about this? Like is there a specific name for it?

[Sunchimes]

Here is the first thing I found when I googled. I don't do anything like the first video (squishies), ours are much more gentle--exactly like the second video (joint compression demonstration). http://sensoryandmore.com/2011/08/11...-compressions/

The message is just a firm stroking of their legs, feet, and arms. The therapist was just casually doing it, nothing that appeared like formal therapy. At one point, she rubbed his chest and his shoulders.

http://voices.yahoo.com/calming-activities-children-sensory-processing-10929050.html

We also do the blanket taco swaddling. It's become a game and all of the kids love to be the hot dog or the taco, depending on what we are playing that day. I use a flannel baby blanket. She brought a nylon parachute today and he hated it.

She comes back on Friday. I'll ask her then for some links to more information.