DCB Obsessed With My Baby

[laceylmm]

I have a new dcb and he refuses to leave my one year old alone. I think he is trying to be affectionate for the most part but is very rough with him. Grabbing, pulling on him, grabbing his face and kissing him. Dcb is five And has only been here a week. The last two days he is constantly telling my son he is a bad baby and spanking him (not hard but def swatting him). But also does this when he is playing as well. We've had several timeouts today after discussing that the he can't grab/touch te baby in that way.

Also whenever I catch him doing anything he shouldn't be he lies and says he wasn't doing that, it wasn't a big deal, or that he didn't spank him hard. After this last time out we talked again, he said he spanked him for ripping the book. Suggestions?

[laceylmm]

My son is 17 months, so not exactly a baby anymore.

[Blackcat31]

I have a new dcb and he refuses to leave my one year old alone. I think he is trying to be affectionate for the most part but is very rough with him. Grabbing, pulling on him, grabbing his face and kissing him. Dcb is five And has only been here a week. The last two days he is constantly telling my son he is a bad baby and spanking him (not hard but def swatting him). But also does this when he is playing as well. We've had several timeouts today after discussing that the he can't grab/touch te baby in that way.

Also whenever I catch him doing anything he shouldn't be he lies and says he wasn't doing that, it wasn't a big deal, or that he didn't spank him hard. After this last time out we talked again, he said he spanked him for ripping the book. Suggestions?

I'd start a VERY strict NO HANDS policy immediately.

Don't even give warnings, just explain to him that ANY time he touches anyone else, he will be placed in time out and/or lose a privilege.

This is a serious safety concern since the two kids are so far apart in age.

I wouldn't care what he said he reasons were (for loving or for hurting) we do NOT touch anyone. ever.

He is plenty old enough to understand.

I would also let the parents know and ask them to speak with their child as this is completely unacceptable for a 5 year old to do to a little one.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I agree with BC!

The ONLY touching I allow the children to do with each other is 1. ONE high five as a nice gesture or 2. A ONE fingered "tag" when playing tag outside. Anything outside of these two things, or any deviation from these two things, warrants an immediate separation from that game/situation. The child must go read a book, play with a different toy, etc.

These rules came after attempted rough housing, aggressive behavior, etc. etc. etc.

[MyAngels]

Ditto what BC and ECS said, plus I would never allow that "bad baby" business, either.

[cheerfuldom]

I would be very strict as the other posters have said. 5 year olds can understand and follow that rule. I would also talk to the parents about the way this child is physically with other kids, specifically the spanking. I understand that a family has a right to spank in their own household but I would have a serious conversation about what is and is not acceptable at daycare. A 5 year old like this would not be allowed to touch the 1 year old at all in any way. If he earns your trust in the future, he would be allowed to touch others in a friendly socially acceptable way....high fives, hug back if the other kid hugs first, holding hands for games, that sort of thing.

Another idea is to create a some visuals of what is not okay. Hang it on the wall and when he breaks the rules, he gets the consequence. Read the rules from the wall every time he even tries to break them and just get that into his head so you know he knows what the rules are. Have him memorize them.