She Did It First!

[AmyKidsCo]

My kiddos are going through a "She did it first" phase - every time I remind them of the rules I get "He did it first!" and it's driving me nuts.

How do you handle it besides "That may be true, but I'm talking to YOU right now"? (In my mind I'm saying "If he jumped off a cliff would you do it too?":

[Blackcat31]

DCK: "But she/he did it first."
Me: "But YOU were the one who got caught."


I do NOT allow children to use that as an excuse. Just like in real life, when someone does something wrong, it does not mean it is ok for you to do too.

Be responsible for YOUR own actions at ALL times.

[SilverSabre25]

"Don't let someone else's misbehavior get YOU in trouble!"
"YOU make choices for YOU--YOU got yourself in trouble"
"That may be, and I will certainly talk to her about it, but first...[see above, ]"


This is a big thing right now with a 5 yo and, of all people, my TWO YEAR OLD. He sees the toddler do stuff and he decides that he should too. SO ANNOYING.

[Cat Herder]

Active Ignore.

"I can't hear you when you are tattling. Go sit on the blue stool until you are ready to talk about YOUR behavior."

[Bookworm]

DCK: "But she/he did it first."
Me: "But YOU were the one who got caught."


I do NOT allow children to use that as an excuse. Just like in real life, when someone does something wrong, it does not mean it is ok for you to do too.

Be responsible for YOUR own actions at ALL times.

Amen!

[daycare]

I have 4 that do this...

I will tell them well did you make a bad decision too? They look and me and say yes. Well then what do you need to do?

People who make bad decisions don't get to have any fun......

I agree with what BC said too, but I used to say that to my son who was about 6 at the time and he just found ways not to get caught. He started lying or would hide what he was doing. Most of the time I still caught him, but not always.

[AmyKidsCo]

DCK: "But she/he did it first."
Me: "But YOU were the one who got caught."


I do NOT allow children to use that as an excuse. Just like in real life, when someone does something wrong, it does not mean it is ok for you to do too.

Be responsible for YOUR own actions at ALL times.

I feel the same way but am getting sick of saying the same thing over and over and over again.

OTOH the next phase might be more annoying.

Active Ignore.

"I can't hear you when you are tattling. Go sit on the blue stool until you are ready to talk about YOUR behavior."

Why didn't I think of this? (facepalm) I'm always saying "My ears don't hear whining." "I only listen to big kid voices." "I can't understand you when you're crying." (for tantrums only) etc.

[WImom]

I will usually say "you make your own choices, you chose to make the bad choice, not *****."