Petty? WWYD?

[AnneCordelia]

I have a daycare family with unique situation. The DCD works with my DH and my DH drives him to the train station daily. DCM is on maternity leave.

They are contracted to a 7:15 start. But, now that mom is on mat leave they have been coming at 8am, because mom walks DCG over for the exercise. On some, but not all, rainy days then DCD will drive DCG over at 7:15, and I asked that they tell me the night before when this will happen. DCM has walked over on a couple of rainy days, so simply seeing rain on the weather isn't a good predictor to me of the earlier start.

My other arrivals are all at 7:45. So her contracted time is 1/2 hour earlier than everyone else.

This morning it is rainy. It has been calling for rain all week for today. DCM texted me at 6:50am letting me know DCG would be here at 7:15am instead of 8. So I cut my workout short and hopped in the shower ASAP so I could be ready for 7:15. I felt rushed and annoyed. And it meant DH had to wait for DCD to drive his car home before picking him up for the carpool, when DH had planned on getting gas.

Anyway, it annoyed me but I don't want to be petty just because I'm annoyed. I just want my mornings to go smoothly. I want to know in advance so I can workout earlier if she's coming. That's not a problem for me, if I have advance notice. DH wants to know in advance so he can plan to get gas the night before. I thought we had agreed on advance notice, not 20 minutes notice.

I mentioned to DCD at dropoff that I'd appreciate advance notice and he said they didn't know it was raining until they got up. But, to be fair, I bought new umbrellas on Tuesday because the weather has been calling for rain today all week. I feel that's a cop-out.

Anyway, thoughts?

[CedarCreek]

I think its fine to ask for advance notice and not to accept 20 minutes as notice. This is your time and dhs. They need to be respectful of that.

[TheGoodLife]

I think its fine to ask for advance notice and not to accept 20 minutes as notice. This is your time and dhs. They need to be respectful of that.

I agree! I would tell them that unless there's a really BIG storm that you know she cant wall, you will only expect them to come early if informed by the night before.

[bunnyslippers]

I think it is silly that she won't walk the baby over in the rain, and because of weather your day has to start 45 minutes earlier. The fact that you husband drives him to the train is also pretty nice of your family, and they should be appreciative of that. If DCD is driving with your husband, why can't DCM drive the child over at 8:00?

[MamaBearCanada]

I think it is silly that she won't walk the baby over in the rain, and because of weather your day has to start 45 minutes earlier. The fact that you husband drives him to the train is also pretty nice of your family, and they should be appreciative of that. If DCD is driving with your husband, why can't DCM drive the child over at 8:00?

Good point BunnySlippers!

What about not making this a daycare issue at all but have DH tell DCD that he is going to pick him up from his house at x:xx am every day because he needs a set schedule in the morning. Then see what DCM & DCD work out for themselves.

[Laurel]

I have a DCD that drops off first. His schedule changes monthly at his work as far as starting time (I know weird). Plus certain days he has meetings, etc. Bottom line is that his drop off time is unpredictable BUT no earlier than 7 a.m. It was a hassle for a while but now I just decide in my mind that I start at 7 a.m. I do my daily walk earlier and if he isn't here till 7:30, I have a half hour all to myself.

I just found it to be a lot less stress for ME and that is what is important to me.

You are not being petty at all but why have this on your mind and have the hassle of it when you can change your workout time? At least that is the way I look at it.

Laurel

[momofboys]

I have a DCD that drops off first. His schedule changes monthly at his work as far as starting time (I know weird). Plus certain days he has meetings, etc. Bottom line is that his drop off time is unpredictable BUT no earlier than 7 a.m. It was a hassle for a while but now I just decide in my mind that I start at 7 a.m. I do my daily walk earlier and if he isn't here till 7:30, I have a half hour all to myself.

I just found it to be a lot less stress for ME and that is what is important to me.

You are not being petty at all but why have this on your mind and have the hassle of it when you can change your workout time? At least that is the way I look at it.

Laurel

Sure she can change her workout time but she shouldn't have to get up earlier if not necessary. I could get up earlier some days too but if I can sleep in some I'd prefer that. To me this is all about respect, they think they can give 15 min notice & come early. If I had received that text at 6:50 I would have typed back sorry, I can't accept DCC earlier with such short notice. I would require parents notify me 24 hours in advance about a change in schedule. Their work wouldn't call them at 6:50 am & say they needed to be at work 1/2 hr early

[daycarediva]

I say you make the dh/dcd issue separate from the drop off issue. Dh can pick up dcd on time every day so it doesn't mess up dh's schedule.

I would set a timeline for drop offs, and be as specific as possible, have them sign a written notice saying that changes to his drop off need to be made no later than 8pm the evening before, that you would not accept him early UNLESS they arranged it the evening prior and leave it at that.

[coolconfidentme]

I have a DCD that drops off first. His schedule changes monthly at his work as far as starting time (I know weird). Plus certain days he has meetings, etc. Bottom line is that his drop off time is unpredictable BUT no earlier than 7 a.m. It was a hassle for a while but now I just decide in my mind that I start at 7 a.m. I do my daily walk earlier and if he isn't here till 7:30, I have a half hour all to myself.

I just found it to be a lot less stress for ME and that is what is important to me.

You are not being petty at all but why have this on your mind and have the hassle of it when you can change your workout time? At least that is the way I look at it.

Laurel

This is what I would do. If its not your thing, teach people how to treat you. Do your workout when you want to, if she shows up, have her wait while you finish & shower. Show no signs it bothers you too. She will either change her time or sit there & wait for you (for a change).

[AnneCordelia]

So I talked to DCM and nicely reminded her about our agreement that she'd call the night before if she was going to be earlier than 8am. She did remember that we had texted on April 10 that very agreement, so there is no "we didn't know". She apologized and agreed that going forward she would stick to our arrangement.

DCM doesn't drive. DCD is the only one to have a license. That's why he either drives at 7:15 or she walks at 8am.

But we worked it out. I didn't want to seem petty because I honestly don't mind in the slightest if they come at 7:15. They could come then every day and I am fine with it. I just need to know before I've started my morning workout routine or my time isn't allotted correctly to be ready for then.

[Laurel]

[QUOTE=momofboys;360298]Sure she can change her workout time but she shouldn't have to get up earlier if not necessary. I could get up earlier some days too but if I can sleep in some I'd prefer that. To me this is all about respect, they think they can give 15 min notice & come early. If I had received that text at 6:50 I would have typed back sorry, I can't accept DCC earlier with such short notice. I would require parents notify me 24 hours in advance about a change in schedule. Their work wouldn't call them at 6:50 am & say they needed to be at work 1/2 hr early[/QUOTE

I see your point. I don't have to get up earlier. I get up the same time no matter what.

This dad was trying to get it together but every single evening I got tired of hearing. "Well tomorrow it will be closer to 7:15 that I drop off and the next evening it would be something like "Well with my meeting on Thursday's I need to drop off closer to 7:00." He would always tell me in advance but I wanted the time the same every day because I walk every morning. He would tell me at pickup the night before though. So I just said well if you never have to be here before 7:00 then just plan on me always being open by 7:00. That way I didn't have to deal with the every evening stuff. I didn't feel he was being disrespectful in any way. He was just kinda bumbling around trying to give me an accurate time....which never happened :: so I just told him 7:00.

I had to pick my battles. My other battle with him (well his wife) was paying me for staying a half hour after closing on a regular basis. I won that one.

Laurel

[Cat Herder]

Honestly, (I am sure it is not what you want to hear) as they were contracted for 715, any day they were there later I would consider a gift.

Her coming at 715 was her right.

You can rework a new contract that works better for the both of you, though. Maybe that would be better?

[AnneCordelia]

I have a new contract printed out with their hours on it to go home tonight! I just thought we had agreed via text (so it's written down) and they'd been following it for two months now. My mistake was not updating their actual contract with the info. A mistake I am rectifying now!

That's where i was confused, Cat Herder. We had two different agreements and I figured the most recent would be the one we follow but I wasn't sure if I should bring it up because their original contract said 7:15. Thank you for chiming in! It will be fixed now so that everybody knows what's expected!

[Cat Herder]

I have a new contract printed out with their hours on it to go home tonight! I just thought we had agreed via text (so it's written down) and they'd been following it for two months now. My mistake was not updating their actual contract with the info. A mistake I am rectifying now!

That's where i was confused, Cat Herder. We had two different agreements and I figured the most recent would be the one we follow but I wasn't sure if I should bring it up because their original contract said 7:15. Thank you for chiming in! It will be fixed now so that everybody knows what's expected!

I understand. They always go to the hard copy when it is in their favor, though... We all know it.. ::::

Cover your fanny now so you can spend your morning firming it up in the gym...