I Am P*ssed

[Patches]

Talked to mom - pretty sure she's more p*ssed than I am.

Turns out the whole thing (kid not going to school, then dropping kid on my doorstep when I wasn't there) was to get back at mom.

There's a whole lotta family drama and this kid is right in the middle.

"Dad" of dcb is actually step-dad, bio dad is in the picture when he feels like it, and step dad & mom have recently split up (like last week).

The kid is the pawn between the 3 adults and they're all trying to use dcb against each other.

Anywho, mom is doing ALL drop offs from now on-among other things we discussed.

Poor dcb

[Patches]

This has become a problem in the past few weeks in my center. I am one of the openers and the room where we receive the DCKs allows us to see who comes in. Well one morning, I was there 20 min early and forgot to lock the door behind me and a parent brought their infant in and left her in the baby room. At that hour, I'm not listening for anyone to come in so I was in my class setting up for the day. It wasn't until my co-worker came in TEN MINUTES later that I found out she was there. I was beyond pissed. I called my Director, told her what happened and gave the parents cell number. She jumped all over both of them so bad, they can't look me in the eye anymore. I took me about 2 days to get over it. My head was constantly filled with "what ifs".

Something similar happened to me once at a center. I couldn't believe a parent would just leave their kid in a EMPTY room! Apparently, they're not the only ones.:confused:

[daycare]

just when you think you have heard it all....CRAZY!!

btw in my state I believe the youngest you can be left home alone is age 12 and 16 to be left alone with a younger child in the car....

I had to add a section to my handbook that parents must sign their child in and out each day, remove or put on their childs shoes and inform the provider of their presence before leaving or taking their child.

Before I had a one way locking front door, I used to leave it unlocked all the time. I had a mom come in and leave her child while we were out in the backyard playing. The child was not normally supposed to attend on that day and him being their caused me to be over ratios. I tried calling everyone of their contacts to come pick him up. In the end the grandma drove from two hours away to pick the kid up and I termed care.

This same family also came in one time unannounced and took their child while I was in the bathroom doing diaper changes. I come out of the bathroom and say where is JOhnny. The kids say, some man came and took him.

Yes, I should have termed that family right then and there, but I didn't and in the end they did it to me again on the other end...

[Patches]

just when you think you have heard it all....CRAZY!!

btw in my state I believe the youngest you can be left home alone is age 12 and 16 to be left alone with a younger child in the car....

I had to add a section to my handbook that parents must sign their child in and out each day, remove or put on their childs shoes and inform the provider of their presence before leaving or taking their child.

Before I had a one way locking front door, I used to leave it unlocked all the time. I had a mom come in and leave her child while we were out in the backyard playing. The child was not normally supposed to attend on that day and him being their caused me to be over ratios. I tried calling everyone of their contacts to come pick him up. In the end the grandma drove from two hours away to pick the kid up and I termed care.

This same family also came in one time unannounced and took their child while I was in the bathroom doing diaper changes. I come out of the bathroom and say where is JOhnny. The kids say, some man came and took him.

Yes, I should have termed that family right then and there, but I didn't and in the end they did it to me again on the other end...

I would have FLIPPED OUT!!!........ right after my heart attack, of course

[daycare]

I would have FLIPPED OUT!!!........ right after my heart attack, of course

I think I did almost suffer an anxiety attack.

[AmyKidsCo]

Something similar happened to me once at a center. I couldn't believe a parent would just leave their kid in a EMPTY room! Apparently, they're not the only ones.:confused:

I had a Dad leave his 4 yr old at my house while we were on a walk around the block. He thought we were in the other room. Now I have a policy that say something about parents seeing me face-to-face when dropping off and picking up. Not in those words exactly, but that's the gist...

[TheGoodLife]

Talked to mom - pretty sure she's more p*ssed than I am.

Turns out the whole thing (kid not going to school, then dropping kid on my doorstep when I wasn't there) was to get back at mom.

There's a whole lotta family drama and this kid is right in the middle.

"Dad" of dcb is actually step-dad, bio dad is in the picture when he feels like it, and step dad & mom have recently split up (like last week).

The kid is the pawn between the 3 adults and they're all trying to use dcb against each other.

Anywho, mom is doing ALL drop offs from now on-among other things we discussed.

That is so sad for the DCB I hope things get better and that you aren't put in the middle of any of their drama anymore.

[Kaddidle Care]

It might be time to clue Social Services in on this family. I'm sorry for the boy - he doesn't deserve people like this in his life.

The fact that he was left with no contact (and especially that there was no follow up call) tells me that the child should NEVER be left with that man again.

[Familycare71]

Just FYI NYS kids can be left alone at any age- for Cps to do anything there has to be proof the child isn't mature enough or safe.
Kids can be responsible for younger kids at 11 years

[Blackcat31]

Just FYI NYS kids can be left alone at any age- for Cps to do anything there has to be proof the child isn't mature enough or safe.
Kids can be responsible for younger kids at 11 years

My state has no hard rules about kids left alone either BUT if a child is young enough (age wise or developmentally) to be enrolled in child care I don't think they should be left alone at daycare...kwim?

For a parent to choose to leave their child home alone in their homes on their watch is a completely different thing.

Had the DCD in this thread left the kid at home alone, I don't think there would be such an uproar.

[Unregistered]

Talked to mom - pretty sure she's more p*ssed than I am.

Turns out the whole thing (kid not going to school, then dropping kid on my doorstep when I wasn't there) was to get back at mom.

There's a whole lotta family drama and this kid is right in the middle.

"Dad" of dcb is actually step-dad, bio dad is in the picture when he feels like it, and step dad & mom have recently split up (like last week).

The kid is the pawn between the 3 adults and they're all trying to use dcb against each other.

Anywho, mom is doing ALL drop offs from now on-among other things we discussed.

I would definitely have a plan of action and amend your contract immediately to indicate that if you're not home and the child is left anyway, that's an immediate call to CPS and cause for immediate termination. What he did was ridiculously unacceptable. I don't care HOW old a child is, you do not leave them at someone's door! You didn't know he was there, I doubt he checked with neighbors to "watch" him. In our area if that happened, the parent would be charged with neglect. Additionally, in our area, where kids are watched/followed a lot, there is the chance that the parent would have put the kid in danger! Pretend he were taken, and you get home, you know the kid was absent from school, parent doesn't tell you he dropped off, so naturally you'd think that they just forgot to call you. So, what happens? mom comes to get kid, who isn't there, and hours have gone by and no one knows what has happened. This may be a pretty extreme situation, but where I live, there are a lot of abductions and so this scenario is not very far fetched.

I'd explain that YOU will not be a party to any drama that occurs and that you will terminate without warning, without refund if any shenanigans like this should happen again. This "game" parents play against each other is disgusting and only hurts the kids! Sometimes, I truly believe society has LOST IT.


As far as age leaving a child at home alone:

Where I live there's no age written in law, but the average age of consideration is about 10 yo AND if someone calls on you, then CPS/PD will interview the child and based on a series of questions, determine if the child really is capable/mature enough to stay home. They need to know their name, addr, phone, parents names, who to reach in an emergency and how, what to do if someone comes up to the door, where exits are and whom to contact in case of fire, etc. If they can demonstrate these things verbally (or point things out) then usually things are fine. It is MUCH different if they can do all this, and then have to watch siblings, so while it may be ok for a 9yo who demonstrates maturity and skills to stay home alone, it may not be ok for that same 9yo to babysit. For babysitting, the 9yo must be able to describe what to do if child gets hurt or chokes in addition to all the other issues.

It's up to the parent what they think about their child staying HOME alone....but to leave a child elsewhere and telling no one (such as owner or property where child is being dumped), that's entirely unacceptable.

[cheerfuldom]

you know, with all this drama, I hate to say it but I would be concerned about how this kid even sprained his ankle.....

[BumbleBee]

Thank you all for your responses/advice/suggestions - I have read them all.

This dcb is, surprisingly, well behaved. I've had a few minor behavior issues but nothing extreme. Whining when he doesn't want to do something, a bit of an attitude sometimes.

I did ask dcb what happened to his ankle (bounce house at school for the end of the year party) and it was confirmed by some of his classmates parents that he did sprain it in the bounce house at school. Thank you for bringing up the concern though as it's important to remember to not take explanations at face value in some situations.

The extremely sad part is this dcb is more mature than all 3 adults in this situation. More often than not I have to tell him to go play and be a kid because he's always trying to help the little ones. It's not a bad thing to want to help but that's my job, not his. Go be 9 years old for awhile, kwim? I don't think he knows how anymore.

He acts almost like some foster kids I've worked with in that he feels he needs to "earn" the right to be here. Lots on my mind right now trying to make sure I'm not expecting to much of him.

[mrsnj]

I don't know which I was more of. Shock over leaving a child on a doorstep unannounced or the reasons they gave for doing it. That poor kid.