18 Month Old.....MOM calls EVERY DAY!

[LaLa1923]

This little boy came to me from my provider friend across the street. He's been with me for a few months now..... Mom knew me and obviously still does.



However, she calls every stinkin day. She's called every day since he started. If I don't answer she calls back or leaves a vm for me to call her.

All she ever asks is how is he today?

It's always the same! He's fine! Healthy, playing, happy, blah blah blah.


Also, I took his bottle away......Seriously, she wanted me to lay him down with it. BIG no no!!

She also would like me to lay him down for his nap at 9am...So he's ready for bed when she picks him up....::::

Yikes, parents...

[cheerfuldom]

I would tell her that by now, you feel that you have proven yourself to be a good provider and a trustworthy person. Her calling every day makes you feel that she still does not trust you. Either she can trust that YOU will call HER if there is an issue or she needs to move on to another provider that she can gain a comfort level with. A lot of moms do this....the constant calls, texts, updates for that daily (sometimes hourly) reassurance that their child is okay. It is not for the child, its for the mom. She most likely does not realize how her constant checking on you is damaging to the relationship between parent and provider. I would tell her the above and also make sure she is provided with a daily routine of the daycare schedule. This is available to all my daycare parents and rarely changes. That way, they know what their child is doing and know that anything out of the ordinary will be discussed at pickup.

[SilverSabre25]

That's even more ridiculous than the mom of my 8 month old who called every day two years back. Like, seriously. The thread is around here somewhere (The Parent Who Calls EVERY Day). I felt very disrespected and untrusted because that mom clearly didn't believe me when I said her child was having a great day and was sleeping/eating/not sick/whatever. They left with no notice and didn't pay the required monies after just a couple months. I tried to pursue it but I was kind of 8 months pregnant at the time and my mom was in the hospital recovering from a life-changing illness so I did NOT have the energy to take them to court. I still kind of regret that.

ANYWAY, all that to say...I would let mom know that you aren't happy with this arrangement. Ask to switch to texting, or tell her that you will call her if he's having a bad day, or will text every day between 1 and 2 to let her know how he's doing, or whatever you're comfortable with. But don't let her keep calling if it's annoying you. One way or another...make it stop.

[msmegandc]

OMG! I too, have 2 mom's that either call or text me! Furthermore, one of the 2 tends to call me at night to discuss things. I had to stop responding to the after hours calls and texts. The other mom texts me and sends emails during the day asking about her kids. It becomes bothersome because I feel like I am having to care for additional kids!! I swear, sometimes the parents are more work than the kids!!!! I know they miss them and worry for them, but really, they need to learn boundaries! If there was a problem, we'd call...right?

[Lucy]

I've had parents do that too. At first I let it slide because they're naturally nervous having a new Provider watch their kids. But once it got to be annoying, I'd just cut down on my word count. Instead of happily participating in conversation and expanding on my answers, I'd just start saying "fine", and allow a big, uncomfortable silence. They're waiting for me to say more, but I don't. So they uncomfortably say "oh good". They might ask another question like how the child ate today or something, and I would say "normal amount"... awkward silence. After awhile it becomes too uncomfortable for them and/or they finally sense that you're "over it", and they stop. In theory, anyway! LOL

[MarinaVanessa]

I would do as the above post but instead of always only an uncomfortable silence I'd keep working on what I'm doing with the kids and keep DCM on the line...
DCM. So how's little johny doing?
ME. Little Henry its time to change your diaper, lets go get a diaper. Cone here sweetheart, lets get you up here. You're such a good little boy, yes you are. Oh he's fine (directed at DCM). There we go, now doesn't that feel good? All better.
DCM. Oh that's good. Did he eat okay for you?
ME. Okay little Henry its time to go play now. Yay. Bobby I need you to use your walking feet please. Thank you for using your listening ears. Lily can you help Asha with her baby dolls dress please. I think she needs help. He ate great (at DCM). Henry be nice to the book please. Bobby I need you to sit in the chair please, if you stand on it you can fall. Danger.
DCM. Oh okay, what did he eat.
Me. Lily why don't you go pick out a book for us to read. Would you guys like that? Do you want to listen to a story. Johny can you pick out another book so we can read two stories please. Oh, a little of this and a little of that. He ate all of his fruit of course and took bites out of his veggies (at DCM). Okay guys lets all gather around and sit down. Lily can you move back a little bit so that Henry can see too. Thank you sweetie. You used your listening ears too. Etc.

The point is to show her that the reality is that you are always busy and that your main priority is the kids, eventually she'll get bored or get the point. Either wayit helps :-).

And yes, calls and texts/ememails daily or more are really to help the parent feel better. Usually they miss their little ones and its not always a distrust in their child care provider at all. They are just feeling guilty or something so they call to make themselves feel better. Doesn't make it right but that's when you either step in and directly tell the parent why she can't call everyday or you can passively aggressively deter the daily calls .

[daycarediva]

I would address it asap. I have parents who did this and we compromised (I am, after all, taking care of their children). I will text and update during nap, send a quick email at the end of the week, but that is ALL I have time for. If they don't understand that, they aren't the right fit for me/my program. If they call/text/email I don't respond until our agreed upon time to do so unless it's a schedule change or emergency.

[NeedaVaca]

I would do as the above post but instead of always only an uncomfortable silence I'd keep working on what I'm doing with the kids and keep DCM on the line...
DCM. So how's little johny doing?
ME. Little Henry its time to change your diaper, lets go get a diaper. Cone here sweetheart, lets get you up here. You're such a good little boy, yes you are. Oh he's fine (directed at DCM). There we go, now doesn't that feel good? All better.
DCM. Oh that's good. Did he eat okay for you?
ME. Okay little Henry its time to go play now. Yay. Bobby I need you to use your walking feet please. Thank you for using your listening ears. Lily can you help Asha with her baby dolls dress please. I think she needs help. He ate great (at DCM). Henry be nice to the book please. Bobby I need you to sit in the chair please, if you stand on it you can fall. Danger.
DCM. Oh okay, what did he eat.
Me. Lily why don't you go pick out a book for us to read. Would you guys like that? Do you want to listen to a story. Johny can you pick out another book so we can read two stories please. Oh, a little of this and a little of that. He ate all of his fruit of course and took bites out of his veggies (at DCM). Okay guys lets all gather around and sit down. Lily can you move back a little bit so that Henry can see too. Thank you sweetie. You used your listening ears too. Etc.

The point is to show her that the reality is that you are always busy and that your main priority is the kids, eventually she'll get bored or get the point. Either wayit helps :-).

And yes, calls and texts/ememails daily or more are really to help the parent feel better. Usually they miss their little ones and its not always a distrust in their child care provider at all. They are just feeling guilty or something so they call to make themselves feel better. Doesn't make it right but that's when you either step in and directly tell the parent why she can't call everyday or you can passively aggressively deter the daily calls .

This is great! Another route that I would be tempted to do is say uh oh, someone needs a diaper change, hang on I'll be right back...wait about 4-5 minutes then back to the phone, ok where were we? she'll get sick of being put on hold all the time!

[LaLa1923]

I know she isn't doing it bc she doesn't trust me. She's always called, even with his previous provider he had for well over a year. Every day........... I wish she had stopped it. I would've.



I will address, thank you all!!

[Blackcat31]

That's even more ridiculous than the mom of my 8 month old who called every day two years back. Like, seriously. The thread is around here somewhere (The Parent Who Calls EVERY Day). I felt very disrespected and untrusted because that mom clearly didn't believe me when I said her child was having a great day and was sleeping/eating/not sick/whatever. They left with no notice and didn't pay the required monies after just a couple months. I tried to pursue it but I was kind of 8 months pregnant at the time and my mom was in the hospital recovering from a life-changing illness so I did NOT have the energy to take them to court. I still kind of regret that.

Oh, I remember that thread! (https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=28404)

It was a good one. NannyDe even wrote a blog entry about it because of your thread. (I think the link to her blog entry is in post #27)

I understand that parents have concerns about their child but they also need to realize that we usually have our hands full and can't always answer the phone just to pacify a worried adult.

It's a tough one to deal with because I DO understand both sides.

[Leanna]

I guess, as always, I am the odd one out. I have three moms who text daily (How's Sally?) and I don't mind a bit. They miss their little ones and are wondering all day what they are up to. I just send a little blip about how they are & what activity they enjoyed. Somedays I send a pic. I get to the texts when I can (sometimes hours later) and spend about a minute on each so I don't really find it a bother. Daily phone calls however, would be difficult because we work alone. I'd ask mom to text instead.

[Leigh]

I tell parents to feel free to e-mail me anytime, and that I try to return e-mails when nap time starts. I let them know before they start that I prefer my phone to be used only for very important stuff, since phone calls take my attention from the kids.

I almost never get a call from a parent, and I have no problem with e-mailing once a day (and most parents don't e-mail, either, unless it's to discuss something like an upcoming doctor's appointment or something like that).

I'd try sending a notice to all of the parents that states that you have been receiving a lot of phone calls lately, and that it distracts you from caring for the kids. Ask that e-mail is used, and let them know that they will be returned when you are not needed by the kids.

[Cradle2crayons]

My parents text my iPad. It doesn't get phone calls for a reason

They are required to text 10 minutes before drop off and 10 minutes before pickup. No exceptions.

I tell them at interview they can call the first week, but after that, no phone calls and I give them my iPad text number.

I also post updates via our private facebook group throughout the day. They know to look there for pictures and updates.

I've never had a problem with a parent blowing up my phone or texts. But if I did, I'd out my foot down quickly. I'd tell them I won't answer the phone and to use my iPad text number.

[LaLa1923]

My parents text my iPad. It doesn't get phone calls for a reason

They are required to text 10 minutes before drop off and 10 minutes before pickup. No exceptions.

I tell them at interview they can call the first week, but after that, no phone calls and I give them my iPad text number.

I also post updates via our private facebook group throughout the day. They know to look there for pictures and updates.

I've never had a problem with a parent blowing up my phone or texts. But if I did, I'd out my foot down quickly. I'd tell them I won't answer the phone and to use my iPad text number.

Why are they required to text?

[LaLa1923]

His mom and dad cannot email or text unless they leave the building for lunch. They have top secret clearance positions. We have a base near by that accounts for a large number of jobs in the area.