Excessive Timeouts

[momofboys]

1. Why did your spouse leave your child there after hearing this?2. HOW does a daycare provider find the TIME to have a "usual" place to sit on the couch? There are days that the only sitting I get to do is the 45 seconds I spend in the bathroom.

3. One minute per year is a good guideline-sometimes longer for an older child for something serious.

4. To punish a child for something that happened LAST WEEK? Stupid.

I'd have a serious talk with this provider, if you REALLY want to stay there, but I'd more likely just find a new one. I can't tell you if Minnesota has a rule about time-outs, you can call the Department of Social Services and ask for their child care licensing department for information about that.

^^^Bolded above! If I heard a provider say that when I was dropping my child off I would not leave my child. What was your DH's response?

[Cradle2crayons]

This is a quote from the first post of the OP.

"My spouse dropped our daughter off at her in-home daycare yesterday (Monday) morning, and was immediately told our little one would be in timeout all day because she refused to behave during her final 15-20 minutes last Friday, saying stuff like 'Im not listening to you.' "

The provider herself told the OP. Or her husband. I would absolutely pull my child from her care. That is outrageous. I don't care what the child did, you don't make them sit in time out the entire day. Pull her and report.

The provider SAID aka... THREATENED ... And that was wrong ... And yes I'd pull my kid, however that does not mean e provider actually DID IT.

Threatening is one thing (again, the wrong thing) but DOING is another.

I read where it said the provider SAID that..but...did she DO it??

[daycaremum]

Simply enough, whether the provider followed through with the day long time-out or not, you have been made uncomfortable with this provider. Remove your child immediately and find new arrangements. If there is someone to report to, then report her.
Where I am we are privately run and unless something crazy happened and a parent wanted to report to the ministry (as in extreme neglect or abuse of some sort, or being way over in numbers) there would be no one to report the "threat of a day long time-out".

[cheerfuldom]

The provider SAID aka... THREATENED ... And that was wrong ... And yes I'd pull my kid, however that does not mean e provider actually DID IT.

Threatening is one thing (again, the wrong thing) but DOING is another.

I read where it said the provider SAID that..but...did she DO it??

even if it was threatened, I would still remove my child immediately. threatening may not be against regulations but that would be enough for me to not trust the provider, how they handle discipline.

[Cradle2crayons]

even if it was threatened, I would still remove my child immediately. threatening may not be against regulations but that would be enough for me to not trust the provider, how they handle discipline.

I agree, as I did in my previous two posts. While I agree that I'd remove my kids lickety split, I'd react differently depending on whether or not the provider had actually DONE that, compared to just saying that.

[lovemykidstoo]

even if it was threatened, I would still remove my child immediately. threatening may not be against regulations but that would be enough for me to not trust the provider, how they handle discipline.

Totally agree. I don't know how it was threatened. She said that she WAS going to be in time out all day. Not, she might be. Either way doesn't matter to me. My child wouldn't be there another day.

[CuriousInMn]

Thanks for all the assistance!

I've got my eyes peeled for a new provider and hope to find a great new place!!

[Michelle]

Just make sure you do surprise visits and ask your child what she did during the day and who came to visit the new daycare...such as other adults

Also kids have a hard time with time,events, etc. I have a little 4 year old that told his mom that I made him sit on the toilet "all day".... it was like 3 minutes
His mom laughed because he was having bowel problems and she puts him on for 20 minutes or more.

But just be aware that kids get events, times, and even locations confused.
I have a 4 year old that comes in and a couple times a week she says it's her birthday "Yesterday" and she went to Chuck E Cheese.. I asked mom and she said she hadn't been to Chuck E cheese in 4 months.

Good luck with your new Daycare..hope it works out

[Cradle2crayons]

Just make sure you do surprise visits and ask your child what she did during the day and who came to visit the new daycare...such as other adults

Also kids have a hard time with time,events, etc. I have a little 4 year old that told his mom that I made him sit on the toilet "all day".... it was like 3 minutes
His mom laughed because he was having bowel problems and she puts him on for 20 minutes or more.

But just be aware that kids get events, times, and even locations confused.
I have a 4 year old that comes in and a couple times a week she says it's her birthday "Yesterday" and she went to Chuck E Cheese.. I asked mom and she said she hadn't been to Chuck E cheese in 4 months.

Good luck with your new Daycare..hope it works out

Good points...I always talk to parents about this too. I tell them I take what their kids say happens at home with a grain of salt, and I ask for the same in return .

[countrymom]

ok, the child was seperated from the group. How many times do we tell each other that if a child is naughty with the group they need to be seperated. I'm wondering if the provider just worded it wrong. Also, we don't know what really happened because I'm sorry I find it odd that a provider would say this. Also, I'm wondering if the child is acually a bit of a trouble maker and the provider has told the parents multiple times and nothing was done and now they are taking it out on the provider.

if the parents were so concerned then why did you leave your child there. Why didn't you ever do drop in's.

[preschoolteacher]

I feel horrible that someone would do this to a child. But why did your husband leave her knowing she'd be in a time out all day? If it's because of a lack of any other option for child care, please go to this website and find other care options. You can call this agency, too. http://www.childcareawaremn.org/fami...ind-child-care

Read back and see that the person saying the child would be in a time out "all day" was the provider, not the 4-year-old.

I'm in MN, by the way.

I would not take my child back to that daycare provider for one minute. You should also consider filing a complaint. What she's doing is not permitted, and if the child was really forced to be in a time-out all day, I believe it borders on child abuse.

[lovemykidstoo]

Good points...I always talk to parents about this too. I tell them I take what their kids say happens at home with a grain of salt, and I ask for the same in return .

Very very true. I had a parent say that her son said something about his day that was in a negative way and she asked me about it. I laughed and said, well, he also said that your husband holds him upside down, puts his head in the toilet and flushes. She never said anything else since then hahaha!! He was 3 at the time.

[cheerfuldom]

I agree, as I did in my previous two posts. While I agree that I'd remove my kids lickety split, I'd react differently depending on whether or not the provider had actually DONE that, compared to just saying that.

Not me. If you say it and you are serious about it, even if you dont end up doing it, I would still term immediately. If you are a daycare provider and you are seriously considering putting a child in one spot, not allowing them to move all day, I would absolutely question your judgement, patience and child care skills and knowledge of child development. I am shocked by this post. Very glad to hear the parent is looking for new care.

[cheerfuldom]

ok, the child was seperated from the group. How many times do we tell each other that if a child is naughty with the group they need to be seperated. I'm wondering if the provider just worded it wrong. Also, we don't know what really happened because I'm sorry I find it odd that a provider would say this. Also, I'm wondering if the child is acually a bit of a trouble maker and the provider has told the parents multiple times and nothing was done and now they are taking it out on the provider.

if the parents were so concerned then why did you leave your child there. Why didn't you ever do drop in's.

we can only go by what the parent said in this post. My replies are assuming that the parent has repeated the incident fully and honestly.

[Michelle]

we can only go by what the parent said in this post. My replies are assuming that the parent has repeated the incident fully and honestly.

this is so true..
I think it is more work to keep a child sitting in one spot all day.
Where did she eat? If I were a "disrespectful" 4 year old, I would probably spill my food or act up worse if I had to stay in one spot all day.
This just doesn't sound right.