OMG! Rip my hair out...

[lflick]

OMG so this DCB is going to be the death of me! Same 18 month old I have posted about previously... the literal crying non stop (IF he's not held) is something I am unable to give anyone else proper attention as he is constantly crying! There is no reason for him to be doing this.. at least a reason I can control... he is constantly throwing fits as well IE... I practically had to clean Cheerios off the ceiling after breakfast this am. I just don't know what to do at this point...

Anyone else have anything similar? How do you deal?

[lovemykidstoo]

yup had it and termed after 2 months

[daycarediva]

I don't (like to) take kids under 2 anymore after my screamer. I advertise for 18m+ and will accept them IF they can fit in well.

[lflick]

It's very frustrating trying to get them to participate as part of the group when they do these sorts of things!

[Heidi]

How long has he been with you?

Does he respond to you if you carry him or play with him? Does he take one nap or 2? Maybe he still needs 2.

If nothing other than carrying him works, I would tell him "Your crying shows me that you are tired. Lets go take a nap" Then tuck him in, give him something to cuddle, and walk away.

Does he talk at all? Teaching him some simple sign language, or modeling words for him to encourage other ways to communicate would be helpful. "I can't understand your crying. Use your words. Do you want UP?" etc. Tell him when you can't hold him, too.

[Angelsj]

If it only started two weeks ago, I would ask the parents about getting the child checked out medically. It is possible (maybe even probable) that the little one is spoiled, but I would feel horrible if I assumed that only to find out they are in pain.

Bad tooth, ear infection, something stuck up the kiddo's nose, or in an ear, undiagnosed bone fracture (this happened to me once with my own child), bladder/kidney infection.... so many possibilities.

[Heidi]

If it only started two weeks ago, I would ask the parents about getting the child checked out medically. It is possible (maybe even probable) that the little one is spoiled, but I would feel horrible if I assumed that only to find out they are in pain.

Bad tooth, ear infection, something stuck up the kiddo's nose, or in an ear, undiagnosed bone fracture (this happened to me once with my own child), bladder/kidney infection.... so many possibilities.

Good idea!

[msmegandc]

I would mention it to the parents. While they may be capable of holding the child all the time, you cannot! I recently went through this with a parent. Her nearly one year old fuses all the time. I get cranky b/c i feel as though my time is limited to the other kids. Mom arrived one day and he was "fussing" b/c I refused to pick him up. She immediately did so and he atopped fussing and , I swear...SMILED, as if he knew he got what he wanted! She had to advise me that he just wants "lots of lovin and attention!" Without me having an attitude, i replied, "all the kids do." Parents have unrwalistic expectations hat we can provide 1:1 care to only one specific child.

I would refrain from picking him up...eapecially whrn crying or put him down in the other room when the crying becomes too excessive. Otherwise consider terming. Last question...does the child have any tummy issues? My neice was gluten intolerant and as a result ahe would cry conatantly. They didn't find out until she was 3!

[lflick]

There are no medical conditions he just gets non stop attention and holding while at home. If I had the ability to do this of course I would make every effort to do so but I still need to use the restroom . He is tired... he tried to fall asleep around 9 am but I was able to wake him and he was ok. Another thing I have considered is that he is hungry (my own kids always get whiney if they are) but the thing is is that he doesnt eat when food is offered.

[Angelsj]

Sorry, that was supposed to go under a different thread. Not that it would hurt to get him checked out, but I was aiming that at the little girl who just started two weeks ago.

[Heidi]

There are no medical conditions he just gets non stop attention and holding while at home. If I had the ability to do this of course I would make every effort to do so but I still need to use the restroom . He is tired... he tried to fall asleep around 9 am but I was able to wake him and he was ok. Another thing I have considered is that he is hungry (my own kids always get whiney if they are) but the thing is is that he doesnt eat when food is offered.

Ok...wait, you woke him up when he tried to go to sleep at 9 am?

He needs 2 naps yet then. Lay him down for 45 minutes or so in the am, right after breakfast, and push afternoon nap back a half hour for everyone if you need to.

During the time he is napping in the am, you can do an activity with the bigger kids, so it's win-win. He's not in your faces, crying, and they get a structured activity.

You could sit with them for 15 minutes and get them started, then, while they are into it, you can have a cup of coffee or wash dishes, or whatever.

[AmyKidsCo]

ITA that he may still need 2 naps. He may not be eating because he's too tired and upset. If you can figure out what his needs are you can figure out how to meet those needs without giving up on your needs too.

[Unregistered]

Is this the same little non verbal 18 month old you thought may be on the spectrum that is adjusting to being new in care, being taken off the bottle, and having his comfort blanket permantly removed. The same little one that is being put in time out frequently. Perhaps you and the little guy are just not a good fit. He may take longer to adjust and fit in then you have the patience to muster. Not all providers and children are going to mesh. It's okay to admit that.

[Heidi]

Ok...now I'm putting the pieces together.

The little guy is used to watching t.v. every waking moment, ****ing on a bottle, and dragging a blanket around.

Now, he is getting up early, being brought to a strange house, giving up his "lovies" (bottle, blanket, tv), is tired (he needs 2 naps), and spends all his time wandering around crying.

The bottle...forget it now. Too late to give it back.

The blanket, give him at nap time. One nap right after breakfast, 45 minutes. Second nap with everyone else, for however long they sleep.

Find out what he likes to eat, and make sure to serve some of his favorites for a few weeks.

Hold him when you can, talk to him when you can't, model words like "more" and "thank you" and "up" and "no" and "yes".

Once he is in a better mood because he's sleeping more, give him simple choices like "which cup do you want?" and let him point. "Oh, you want the red one, the red cup for you then".

If he's into something he's not supposed to be, redirect. "Hitting the T.V. is not ok. Lets go find something else to do". Then, guide him to the toys, get on the floor with him for a few minutes and show him how something works.

Or..."I don't want you to grab the cat. Let's go find a book about cats instead".

Or..."It hurts other dcb when you hit him. Look at his face, he's sad because it hurts. Use gentle hands...like this" (showing him).

The poor kid is tired, hungry, and really confused. Have a lot of empathy & guide him gently and positively.

As far as timeouts, they are not really appropriate if used frequently (despite super nanny's time out "technique" claims). Really, at this age it is much more appropriate to tell them what they can do instead of what they can't. If you do need to park him somewhere to go potty or something, THEN having a safe place to put him (like a pnp..not his bed though) or a supergate (with toys in it) is appropriate.

[lflick]

Ok...now I'm putting the pieces together.

The little guy is used to watching t.v. every waking moment, ****ing on a bottle, and dragging a blanket around.

Now, he is getting up early, being brought to a strange house, giving up his "lovies" (bottle, blanket, tv), is tired (he needs 2 naps), and spends all his time wandering around crying.

The bottle...forget it now. Too late to give it back.

The blanket, give him at nap time. One nap right after breakfast, 45 minutes. Second nap with everyone else, for however long they sleep.

Find out what he likes to eat, and make sure to serve some of his favorites for a few weeks.

Hold him when you can, talk to him when you can't, model words like "more" and "thank you" and "up" and "no" and "yes".

Once he is in a better mood because he's sleeping more, give him simple choices like "which cup do you want?" and let him point. "Oh, you want the red one, the red cup for you then".

If he's into something he's not supposed to be, redirect. "Hitting the T.V. is not ok. Lets go find something else to do". Then, guide him to the toys, get on the floor with him for a few minutes and show him how something works.

Or..."I don't want you to grab the cat. Let's go find a book about cats instead".

Or..."It hurts other dcb when you hit him. Look at his face, he's sad because it hurts. Use gentle hands...like this" (showing him).

The poor kid is tired, hungry, and really confused. Have a lot of empathy & guide him gently and positively.

As far as timeouts, they are not really appropriate if used frequently (despite super nanny's time out "technique" claims). Really, at this age it is much more appropriate to tell them what they can do instead of what they can't. If you do need to park him somewhere to go potty or something, THEN having a safe place to put him (like a pnp..not his bed though) or a supergate (with toys in it) is appropriate.

He has been great with not hitting the tv and hasn't tried to steal bottles anymore... the nuk I have to keep a close eye on otherwise its in the mouth. I have a lot of patience and it truly is breaking my heart to see him like this. He gets his blankets at naptime and does well without them. I offer his favorites for lunch and he doesn't touch them. I think I will have to attempt two naps with him for a while. The first few days he was the only one here so he was able to nap mid morning but he slept for hours... he is hard to wake up once he is asleep and if you do wake him up he is very crabby so it's kind of like picking the lesser of two evils with that. I am hopeful with some more time he will adjust. It really just makes me feel like I am not doing it right.