Not Sure What To Do Now...

[coolconfidentme]

Recently I filed a suspected child abuse complaint. In the ongoing investigation, DCM stated the child was fine before he came to DC. (She has also pointed the finger at her BF.) The children haven't been back & I text her & asked if she will be returning or terming. She said she will not return during the investigation & she did not see his bottom before coming here. (He is diapered & came in the afternoon, right?!) I don't know if I should term or what at this point. She is on the voucher program & will not be able to pay for the time the children aren't here. WWYD?

[daycarediva]

He came in the afternoon, with a diaper on. Suuureee she didn't see it. Honestly, sounds like Mom has something to hide and is covering her bases.

"Unfortunately DCM, I cannot hold his spot without pay for any amount of time. As of X day I will no longer be able to care for baby. I wish you the best of luck."

[cheerfuldom]

Especially since there is an investigation going on, document everything. Send HER a letter confirming that you can no longer provide care because SHE forfeited her spot by not sending her son X days. send it by certified mail so you have delivery confirmation

[coolconfidentme]

Especially since there is an investigation going on, document everything. Send HER a letter confirming that you can no longer provide care because SHE forfeited her spot by not sending her son X days. send it by certified mail so you have delivery confirmation

She will NOT pick up something certified.

[Blackcat31]

She will NOT pick up something certified.

Not sure about your area but our sheriff's department will hand deliver letters to parties that refuse certified letters. You could check with them or see if there are any other parties/agencies that will provide that service for you.

[coolconfidentme]

Not sure about your area but our sheriff's department will hand deliver letters to parties that refuse certified letters. You could check with them or see if there are any other parties/agencies that will provide that service for you.

I live in a very small town & do not have those options here.

[Blackcat31]

I live in a very small town & do not have those options here.

I believe that legally you can have a third party (ANY third party) hand deliver the letter and then that person would serve as your proof of delivery.

[cheerfuldom]

I believe that legally you can have a third party (ANY third party) hand deliver the letter and then that person would serve as your proof of delivery.

yes. make sure they hand the person the letter directly. they dont have to "intro" the letter and explain what it is. Just hand it to them so they can verify that the mom DID receive it in her hand on X date. Do not leave in the mailbox or with anyone else but the mom. I assume you know where she works? They can hand deliver to her work place.

also you said she is on a voucher program. Have you contacted anyone there to see what the policy is there about terminating care? they may have a specific avenue you need to go in order to end this working relationship. I would also try and contact the CPS investigator. I would want everyone to know that SHE is terminating care and not communicating so you have documentation should she continue the lie that you are responsible for the abuse. are you licensed? have you contacted your licensor as well?

[SilverSabre25]

She *could* be telling the truth about not seeing the bottom that morning...if BF took all the diaper changes to be "helpful"

But, bruises don't appear instantly like that, sooo...yeah...

I'm sorry you have to deal with this on top of everything else

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

mail a certified letter to her and licensing. when her letter is returned keep it as proof unopened.

[Angelsj]

mail a certified letter to her and licensing. when her letter is returned keep it as proof unopened.

Yes. If you cannot get it hand delivered, send it certified. When it comes back you will have proof you tried to get it to her.

[littlemissmuffet]

I think those pointing a finger at mom should stop. I sometimes go DAYS without seeing my kid's naked body. Daddy handles most diaper changes and bath times and dressing. How do you know that the boyfriend doesn't handle diapers/bathing/etc as well? You don't.

Obviously there is something wrong because I read the original thread about this and OP said the bruising was awful - also, the mom wouldn't immediately blame BF if she didn't know either one of them did or would do something. But to assume it was mom just because she didn't see is completely wrong.

Regarding certified mail - from what I know, I agree that having a third party deliver the letter to her in person would serve proof enough that the letter was given to the intended recipient.

Good luck.

[coolconfidentme]

She *could* be telling the truth about not seeing the bottom that morning...if BF took all the diaper changes to be "helpful"

But, bruises don't appear instantly like that, sooo...yeah...

I'm sorry you have to deal with this on top of everything else

Thank you!

The child is 2nd shift & came to DC at 3pm. DCM took child to Dr that day for ear infection. I'm not really concerned about her finger pointing, I had 7 other little witnesses that day. (I reported the bruises to CPS.) I'm worried about the child & I'm unclear about what to do about being in limbo over the DC spots.

[wabbittrouble]

This whole "boyfriend" thing makes me so mad. I don't understand why moms don't listen to the news. When a child dies or is beaten it's always the "boyfriend". People need to put their children's needs ahead of their own desires. That said - I'd terminate her. She already has bad judgement and this situation won't get better. Let the flames begin, I have broad shoulders.