Need Advice And Vent!

[Unregistered]

Ok so I have a school ager, going to entering 1st grade in fall. He layed down yesterdy during quiet time and fell asleep for an hour. Now the parent comes in this morning asking me to please not have him nap. Apparently it messes with his 7:30 bed time.My opinion is that if the child fell asleep he must be tired! I have 6 others that are younger and NEED naps. Plus, I need my sanity. 10 hours without a break is a long time. This child is high strung and I can not sit for 2 hours every afternoon trying to keep him quiet so others can rest! HELP!!!!

I know many of you have school age. What can I do????

Now my big vent! I get SO TIRED of parents coming in and telling me what to do! I run a very structured program and have been operating for 20 years. A perk of this job is supposed to be being self employed, but I don't feel like that. Someone is always tellingme how to run things! ARGH!!!

[Willow]

You're stressing out about this waaaay too much.

Tell parents in your program you have a rest time. Rest/nap time is non negotiable. If they want him to keep his spot he must lay down just like everyone else does and suggest they possibly adjust his bedtime (7:30?? what the heck is that for a school aged child???).

Either that or ask them if they'd rather give notice at that time and remind them what the policies are for exiting your program.

[Leigh]

Ok so I have a school ager, going to entering 1st grade in fall. He layed down yesterdy during quiet time and fell asleep for an hour. Now the parent comes in this morning asking me to please not have him nap. Apparently it messes with his 7:30 bed time.My opinion is that if the child fell asleep he must be tired! I have 6 others that are younger and NEED naps. Plus, I need my sanity. 10 hours without a break is a long time. This child is high strung and I can not sit for 2 hours every afternoon trying to keep him quiet so others can rest! HELP!!!!

I know many of you have school age. What can I do????

Now my big vent! I get SO TIRED of parents coming in and telling me what to do! I run a very structured program and have been operating for 20 years. A perk of this job is supposed to be being self employed, but I don't feel like that. Someone is always tellingme how to run things! ARGH!!!

Maybe the problem is the 7:30 bedtime?!?! I'd tell DCP that the state requires that you not restrict rest times, and that it actually requires you to provide them, so that it is out of your hands.

[momofboys]

I think that is a way early bedtime IMO! My 5 1/2 -year-old does not go to bed until 8:15/8:30.

[itlw8]

I understand the 7:30 bedtime. That is what we had to do for dgd this year. it had been 8:30 but the bus came a 7 am so she needed more sleep. but bedtime is now 8:30 for the summer it is SO hard to go to sleep when it is light out.

all my kids rest I have dgd that is that age read for an hour then she may play quietly . That allows the littles to fall asleep. She has been falling asleep also she is just worn out. but the 8:30 bedtime works. We will switch back a week or 2 before school starts.

[crazydaycarelady]

I would lay dcb down with some books, tell him he does not have to go to sleep but he does have to be quiet, and if he falls asleep so be it.

With my non-nappers I let them watch TV during quiet time. But if they get to rowdy they would have to lay down on a nap mat.

[Play Care]

I put my school aged kids to bed at 7:30 - they have full day school and need their rest. But they don't nap during the day either.

At the risk of being flamed I will say that I don't believe school aged kids should have to lay down (our schools do not nap kids) and if this child can not entertain themselves quietly or will keep others up, then perhaps it's time to let the parents know he has outgrown your program.

[Cradle2crayons]

My own kids go to bed at 830 to 845 during the school year, and my own almost 5 year old still needs a nap on some days. I don't MAKE him nap, but he is required to rest for one hour. K programs here still do it and he will be going to k in August.

He's about half and half. Some days he's out like a light, some days he just lays there and reads quietly in his own room.

Although I don't necessarily agree with that early of a bedtime for a SA, really it's the parents business what their bedtime is.

HOWEVER, if your program requires a rest period for ALL CHILDREN, then respectfully explain that to mom.

I'd do as another said, give him quiet activities and if he's out like a light, he needed the rest.

Honestly, there are some days in the summer even my oldest daughter will pass out during nap time . Especially on highly active days.

Rest is rest. If it were me, I'd explain to mom that you will require the child to be quiet during quiet time and if he passes out, his body needed it and lack of rest when required makes for cranky kids who are more likely to catch colds etc.

[VTMom]

I put my school aged kids to bed at 7:30 - they have full day school and need their rest. But they don't nap during the day either.

At the risk of being flamed I will say that I don't believe school aged kids should have to lay down (our schools do not nap kids) and if this child can not entertain themselves quietly or will keep others up, then perhaps it's time to let the parents know he has outgrown your program.

Same here. DS (6) goes to bed around 7:30/7:45, and DD (8) 8:00/8:15. They're up by 6:45. Most nights they're asleep before their heads hit the pillow.

Although I personally don't have SA kids lay down, if that's your program than that's your program. If he fell asleep from laying down, he clearly needed the rest.

[wdmmom]

Naps are non negotiable. No full afternoon nap, no daycare. They've outgrown my program.

[TheGoodLife]

I'm not sure what your licensing rules are, but I'd tell DCM that I require a quiet rest time from X:XX - Y:YY, and that DCB is not required to sleep, but he must rest (read books, do quiet activities, whatever you do). If he does fall asleep, then you are not allowed to wake, per licensing regulations- his body must need sleep if he falls asleep!

[daycarediva]

I put my school aged kids to bed at 7:30 - they have full day school and need their rest. But they don't nap during the day either.

At the risk of being flamed I will say that I don't believe school aged kids should have to lay down (our schools do not nap kids) and if this child can not entertain themselves quietly or will keep others up, then perhaps it's time to let the parents know he has outgrown your program.

My sa'ers aren't required to lay down but they are required to do quiet activities during nap time. I won't entertain them, I won't plan activities for this time, etc. If a kid can't handle that, they aren't a good fit for my program. My Sa'ers are very well behaved (knock on wood a new one starts this month!) and they really enjoy the quiet time away from the littles.

7:30 is an ok bedtime for his age, depending on what his wake up time is especially.

[Lucy]

If your state has regulations on rest/nap time, I'd go so far as to print them out and show her. It takes the "blame" off of you.

Otherwise just tell her that he has to do a quiet activity such as reading so that the nappers can fall asleep. Then say if he does end up falling asleep, then you feel like he must have needed it. I always tell them that I will try to limit it for them. (But I don't! Ha Ha)

On another note... what people don't realize is that this boy is still at the age where he requires an average of 11 hours of sleep per day. So if he's going to bed at 7:30 (I would count 8:00 by the time he actually settles down and falls asleep), and is getting up at probably 6:00 am to get ready and get to your house (???) then that's only 10 hours. So the other hour can be made up by napping for one hour. Makes perfect sense to me. I think people keep their kids up too late sometimes. 7:30 sounds appropriate for a 6 yr old. Here's a guideline: http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/sleep-children

All that being said, every kid is different. I've had a Kindergartener who absolutely NEEDED a 2-hour nap after his half day at school, and I've had a 4 yr old who needed no nap. (And no, this was not just the child's opinion! -- her body just plain didn't need it.) They're all unique.

[daycare]

I agree with the if your kid does not nap, that they have outgrown the program.

I would tell mom that you have to keep the kids as a group like you do everything else. YOu will make DCK lay down and if they fall asleep, then they fall asleep. After 30min if they don't they can lay quietly looking at books.

I would let her know that she is welcome to pay someone to watch him for the 2 hours that he is up while the others are down, because you need to be able to rest so that you can rejuvenate and decompress.


Or you can call her to come and pick him up during this time. I would give her a few options.

1. lay down and then books
2. pay someone to come in and watch him
3. come pick him up.

I think that these are all very fair options

[Unregistered]

7:30 school year and 8:30 summer schedule here. I actually do not make them sleep at these times. but I know they will not sleep if I let them stay up later. Either way they are restless so if I put them down at 7:30 they'll be asleep by 9pm. If I put them to sleep at 9, they'd be up til midnight. So, basically 7:30 is their "wind down" time and by 9 all of them our out, usually one of the 6yo's first. In Kinder here, they did have a rest time, but none of the kids really took naps. 1st grade they won't be put down for any rest period really at all.