Happy Tuesday!! 
I have been trying to decipher the difference between "backbone" and "passive aggressive". I know it sounds silly, but every time I use my "backbone" I get accused of being "passive aggressive".
In the last year or so I have lost a couple of DCF's because I used my backbone. One of the DCF's kept arriving earlier than contracted time and I kept telling them that I didn't mind opening early for them- they just needed to let me know ahead of time. At that time I didn't even mind if they sent me a text when they were on their way. They pulled their kid and accused me of being passive aggressive and belittled my entire business. What? I simply put my foot down and enforced policy and look where it got me. Funny thing is I opened the door to them and was willing to keep their child but DCD threw a tantrum and pulled his kid immediately.
Recently, I had a young DCM that accused me of being passive aggressive because I stopped holding her hand through the daycare process. I would have to remind her via text that payment was due every Monday along with many other issues. I stayed open for her until midnight and cared for her child for over 3 years. She just terminated care and gave me no reason. I asked and she told me what a horrible person I am. What? Because I stopped holding your hand?
Ok so in order for me to heal and move on I need fix any possible "issues" I may have. I have always thought I run a great business but as I reflect on the past I need to know what I could be doing wrong.
I love to read the stories of how other providers have used their backbone and said no to requests or turned away DCF's at the door because of sickness or non-payment. I think its awesome, but I can't help but think that if I would do some of these things that I wouldn't have any DCFs.
So many times I would love to throw away the graham cracker breakfast the child brings in with him. Hand the toy back to the parent that the the DCK brings in. Tell the DCM no I cannot keep Junior past closing time bc my family has plans. But I know the DCP will think geeze what a bleep- its only a cracker, toy, or an extra 30 minutes. So I just **** it up and let it happen (I guess that's where the PA kicks in) and then when something does happen and I have to address it- all heck breaks loose.
Sorry for the long post. I am just trying to make myself a better provider and I am reaching out to all of you seasoned providers to help me.

I have been trying to decipher the difference between "backbone" and "passive aggressive". I know it sounds silly, but every time I use my "backbone" I get accused of being "passive aggressive".
In the last year or so I have lost a couple of DCF's because I used my backbone. One of the DCF's kept arriving earlier than contracted time and I kept telling them that I didn't mind opening early for them- they just needed to let me know ahead of time. At that time I didn't even mind if they sent me a text when they were on their way. They pulled their kid and accused me of being passive aggressive and belittled my entire business. What? I simply put my foot down and enforced policy and look where it got me. Funny thing is I opened the door to them and was willing to keep their child but DCD threw a tantrum and pulled his kid immediately.
Recently, I had a young DCM that accused me of being passive aggressive because I stopped holding her hand through the daycare process. I would have to remind her via text that payment was due every Monday along with many other issues. I stayed open for her until midnight and cared for her child for over 3 years. She just terminated care and gave me no reason. I asked and she told me what a horrible person I am. What? Because I stopped holding your hand?
Ok so in order for me to heal and move on I need fix any possible "issues" I may have. I have always thought I run a great business but as I reflect on the past I need to know what I could be doing wrong.
I love to read the stories of how other providers have used their backbone and said no to requests or turned away DCF's at the door because of sickness or non-payment. I think its awesome, but I can't help but think that if I would do some of these things that I wouldn't have any DCFs.
So many times I would love to throw away the graham cracker breakfast the child brings in with him. Hand the toy back to the parent that the the DCK brings in. Tell the DCM no I cannot keep Junior past closing time bc my family has plans. But I know the DCP will think geeze what a bleep- its only a cracker, toy, or an extra 30 minutes. So I just **** it up and let it happen (I guess that's where the PA kicks in) and then when something does happen and I have to address it- all heck breaks loose.
Sorry for the long post. I am just trying to make myself a better provider and I am reaching out to all of you seasoned providers to help me.

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