How Do You Feel About Out Of Town Guests?

[crazydaycarelady]

I have always hated out of town guests also. I never attributed it to my work but I bet that does have a lot to do with it. Fortunately my family all lives in town so out of town guests are pretty few and far between.

I probably would not invite them, just because they live so far away you wouldn't normally expect someone to come that far for a birthday party..

[Cradle2crayons]

I don't understand this. Why lie? If it's really an issue for you, just explain to them that you can't handle overnight guests at this time.

My sister comes several times a year for a month or so and usually stays at my house, sleeps on my sofa. I don't have a problem with it, normally. Last Oct, I heard through the grapevine that she AND her dh (whom I can't profess to love) were going to stay here for 10 days. My niece was going to take a week off of work and they would be coming and going late at night. All 3 smoke, so they're in and out 1/2 the night to go out to have a cigarette. The constant in and out, plus the smoke, wakes up my dd, sil, and grandson. I told her, sorry, not happening. Yeah, she got hurt, but she lived.

First of all, sometimes it's easier to not hurt feelings, depending on the situation.

Second of all, I read her post wrong where she said " throw the in law " and I read throw in the law... Some states don't allow overnight guests or have restrictions. But regardless I read the post wrong.

But anyway, I'm not afraid to admit that sometimes I've lied to family so as to NOT hurt feelings, only in extreme circumstances.

As far as overnight guests are concerned, family already knows its not happening. It does throw off my schedule and it does interfere. Maybe once a year wouldn't be so bad. But I have dck on weekends too so for me it's not the weekend thing but the days I DO get off which are very rare.

[Lyss]

Personally I am not a fan of overnight visitors. But then again I honestly don't like hosting even just dinner/lunch visitors.

We used to live nearly 5hours away from all of our family and when they came to visit they stayed in hotels or at the state park DH worked at (both our families are outdoorsy) but never with us. At first it was because our place was literally way to small (500 sq ft!) but even after we moved to a bigger place I made it clear to my family they needed to stay elsewhere but with my family i really didn't need to say anything as we're not really that kind of family. DH's family never stayed with us because they are not really "big dog" people (we have a 60lbs dog) and I refuse to board or lock up our dog just so they (their little dogs) could stay with us so instead they camped. ::::

[happymom]

I totally get it. I hate having overnight guests, too. My SIL bought season tickets to our local MLS team (we also have season tickets) so she comes up here and stays with us 18 weekends each year. A lot of times she brings her 10 year old and they fight and bicker all weekend.

Not to mention they can't come 3 feet in the door without bringing a huge mess (her 10 year old still brings like 5 stuffed animals with him when they come....and a laptop...and a kindle...and he immediately plugs in all his electronics to the first outlet he sees when he walks in.

AND THEN THEY COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR CAT (and their allergies) and how "everything is covered in cat hair". I clean and vacuum my home very regularly and YES, I have a white cat and cat hair does show up on stuff, especially my dark brown sofa. BUT I always clean it before they come, I spend a lot of time getting my house ready for guests that are unappreciative and just expect expect expect!

[permanentvacation]

I would just be happy to see friends and family that I don't get to see often. So what that they mess up your every day, same ole' same ole' routine. They just want to see their son and grandchild for a while and be able to truly focus on a personal visit with them without all of the other guests of the party and without the focus being on the activities of the party.

My one sister and I don't quite mesh perfectly. She smokes, can't go 1/2 hour without a cigarette and I can't breathe through smoke. She raised, I think 4 show collies. But now she seems to absolutely HATE any animal and is on the meaner side to my dog and cats. She shoes them away like they're gnats while saying, "Go away, dog". Or "Okay, cat, you have to go, come on, go!" Now that I'm thinking about her visits, I don't think she's ever had a nice word to say or complimented me on anything when she has visited. She constantly tries to correct my grammar, my cooking, the things I do or don't do with the daycare kids, etc. You guys think I have issues... HA! She comes across to outsiders like she has it together because she fakes it well. But she constantly has phone calls from her job about problems that are immediate emergencies that get her all in an uproar which then gets me flustered. It's really not the happiest, nice, relaxing visit when she comes here (or anywhere because she's like that with everyone). But I love her and since she lives in Florida, I only get to see her a couple of times a year when she comes up to visit. So the times that she asks to stay at my house, even though I know that it is not going to be the most pleasant visit, I JUMP at the chance to have her stay at my house just so I can see her and spend some time with her.

Every separate family will live differently than another even within the larger family group. But, you need to cherish the moments that you have with friends and family, especially if you aren't able to see them often.

[Blackcat31]

This thread is from 2013.

Just in case anyone is responding to someone specific

[happymom]

oh my god, I am so sorry! I can't believe I resurrected an old thread by accident

My bad, I'll pay more attention. I think the title caught my eye and I just HAD to put in my two cents. Sorry again everyone!

[Blackcat31]

oh my god, I am so sorry! I can't believe I resurrected an old thread by accident

My bad, I'll pay more attention. I think the title caught my eye and I just HAD to put in my two cents. Sorry again everyone!

No worries...

Old threads often have relevant and useful info in them.

It's not a bad thing to resurrect them.

I only point them out if someone is maybe expecting a reply from an old poster etc... or if they are asking new questions or have a new issue relating to the topic.

So....

old thread = good!
wanting a reply from old poster = looooooong wait

[Unregistered]

i would ask them to get a hotel room for the weekend. or an Air B&B, which is cheaper.

[Rockgirl]

^^^ See above post about old threads.

i would ask them to get a hotel room for the weekend. or an Air B&B, which is cheaper.

[Nurse Jackie]

I'm pretty much of a loner however I don't mind when family comes to visit. As long as you don't expect for me to wait on you hand and foot. My parents and brothers live at least an hour away from me so when they come to visit they stay the weekend.My in laws live on the other side of the country and don't visit too often. My kids love when their grandparents and uncles come to visit and that makes me happy. I lost my grandmother a little under a year ago and that was a reality check for me. I know my parents will not be here forever and even though my mom tests my patience I want me and my kids to spend time with her while we still can.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

I would prob just pay for a hotel room (tell them I had a coupon for a free night) and then let kids swim there and do Pizza. No cooking, no cleaning, kids wear our swimming, no house guests...win, win, win😁