How Do You Feel About Out Of Town Guests?

[Unregistered]

How do you who are daycare providers feel about out of town guests staying at your house during the weekend? I know for me that weekends are practically sacred. With people in and out of our house all week, the last thing I want to do is host people over the weekend. I really need the time to unwind and get ready for Monday morning.

My problem is an upcoming birthday party for one of my kids. My parents live about 2 hours away--they will drive here to come to the party and then drive back home. Since they are my parents, they are a lot like me and don't really care to stay with us anyways. I think everyone from my side of the family values personal space! My husband's family is a different story. They live farther away--6 hours--so too far to drive there and back in one day. They always want to stay with us, and they always arrive really early (like Friday afternoon) and stay until our kids' bedtime on Sunday. It's a lot for me. Throw the in-law factor into the mix and it becomes even more difficult as you can imagine. The last thing I want for this birthday party is to have to host guests as well as plan and throw a party. My husband gets where I'm coming from and supports me even though he doesn't have the same feelings (but he doesn't have the daycare kids or the party planning, either!!)

What would you do in this situation? I'd like to invite them to come for the party, and the party only, like everyone else. But I suspect they will expect to stay with us. I really just want a nice birthday party for 3 hours on Saturday and then the rest of the weekend with my immediate family. Too much to ask??? I know they would be coming from out of town so it seems so mean not to spend more time with them. I feel like it would be worse just not to invite them, though. How would you approach this?

[Happy Hearts]

They're family.,.... just grin and bear it once in a while. BUT, if money is not an issue maybe they can get a motel room?

[Cradle2crayons]

How do you who are daycare providers feel about out of town guests staying at your house during the weekend? I know for me that weekends are practically sacred. With people in and out of our house all week, the last thing I want to do is host people over the weekend. I really need the time to unwind and get ready for Monday morning.

My problem is an upcoming birthday party for one of my kids. My parents live about 2 hours away--they will drive here to come to the party and then drive back home. Since they are my parents, they are a lot like me and don't really care to stay with us anyways. I think everyone from my side of the family values personal space! My husband's family is a different story. They live farther away--6 hours--so too far to drive there and back in one day. They always want to stay with us, and they always arrive really early (like Friday afternoon) and stay until our kids' bedtime on Sunday. It's a lot for me. Throw the in-law factor into the mix and it becomes even more difficult as you can imagine. The last thing I want for this birthday party is to have to host guests as well as plan and throw a party. My husband gets where I'm coming from and supports me even though he doesn't have the same feelings (but he doesn't have the daycare kids or the party planning, either!!)

What would you do in this situation? I'd like to invite them to come for the party, and the party only, like everyone else. But I suspect they will expect to stay with us. I really just want a nice birthday party for 3 hours on Saturday and then the rest of the weekend with my immediate family. Too much to ask??? I know they would be coming from out of town so it seems so mean not to spend more time with them. I feel like it would be worse just not to invite them, though. How would you approach this?

I would tell them that licensing requirements dictate that you are NOT allowed to have overnight guests who are over the age of 18. And act as if you are terribly upset about it. Then offer them a hotel room in the next county

[littlemissmuffet]

I know EXACTLY where you are coming from - both hubs and I are super private and hate overnight/weekend company... so honestly, I'd probably avoid even inviting them!

If this just isn't an option, hubs can invite them and let them know if they come they need to get a hotel because you have too much on your plate this weekend to have guests beyond the party

[ABCDaycareMN]

They're family.,.... just grin and bear it once in a while. BUT, if money is not an issue maybe they can get a motel room?

This. It isn't all the time. They probably don't get to see their grandsons as much as they would like because of the distance.

[Oneluckymom]

Eh...there you're parents. It's temporary and one weekend so I wouldn't make a big deal about it. Anyone I know on my side or dh side would be offended if asked to get a motel room. And I love when my sister or mom stay with me, they are a huge help with my own kids and party planning! Any who, parents aren't around forever so enjoy them while they are lovethis

[Leigh]

Maybe I'm the exception, but I LOVE out of town guests! It means that I didn't have to do the driving, for one thing, but also, it's my family, and I WANT them around.

[melilley]

Maybe I'm the exception, but I LOVE out of town guests! It means that I didn't have to do the driving, for one thing, but also, it's my family, and I WANT them around.

Same here!

[Patches]

I'm going through the same thing. My ds birthday party this weekend and my SIL is coming tomorrow night and probably staying until Sunday night or Monday morning. Not looking forward to that....but I do it anyway.

[Evansmom]

Maybe I'm the exception, but I LOVE out of town guests! It means that I didn't have to do the driving, for one thing, but also, it's my family, and I WANT them around.

Same! And also it gives me something different to do than the same old boring "get ready for my work week" routine

[nanglgrl]

How do you who are daycare providers feel about out of town guests staying at your house during the weekend? I know for me that weekends are practically sacred. With people in and out of our house all week, the last thing I want to do is host people over the weekend. I really need the time to unwind and get ready for Monday morning.

My problem is an upcoming birthday party for one of my kids. My parents live about 2 hours away--they will drive here to come to the party and then drive back home. Since they are my parents, they are a lot like me and don't really care to stay with us anyways. I think everyone from my side of the family values personal space! My husband's family is a different story. They live farther away--6 hours--so too far to drive there and back in one day. They always want to stay with us, and they always arrive really early (like Friday afternoon) and stay until our kids' bedtime on Sunday. It's a lot for me. Throw the in-law factor into the mix and it becomes even more difficult as you can imagine. The last thing I want for this birthday party is to have to host guests as well as plan and throw a party. My husband gets where I'm coming from and supports me even though he doesn't have the same feelings (but he doesn't have the daycare kids or the party planning, either!!)

What would you do in this situation? I'd like to invite them to come for the party, and the party only, like everyone else. But I suspect they will expect to stay with us. I really just want a nice birthday party for 3 hours on Saturday and then the rest of the weekend with my immediate family. Too much to ask??? I know they would be coming from out of town so it seems so mean not to spend more time with them. I feel like it would be worse just not to invite them, though. How would you approach this?

I'm a 100% the same way and my in-laws are great. I don't really enjoy having guest ever. I think it would be different if I didn't do childcare but who knows because I have of social anxiety and really like just being alone.
My parents live 1/2 hour away but my in-laws live about 5 hours away so when they come it's always for the weekend which throws off two weeks for me. The week before I feel like I have to make the house nice and clean and try to get some of the stuff done I would do on the weekend and the week after I just don't feel as relaxed and have a ton of stuff to catch up on.
When they come they don't expect me to entertain them (anymore) or put off running my errands and now my MIL doesn't even get upset if I hang out in my room for a few hours (it's the entire 2nd floor of the house) to do "paperwork".
I just **** it up though, well kid of. About 2 days before they come I get grumpy and complain to my hubby a lot but he's smart enough just to nod his head and not say a word. Then they come and the first day I just go about getting my stuff done and then by the 3rd day I've warmed up and they leave that night. It will probably always **** for me but the most important things to me are my children and husband they cherish that time and are making memories so I **** it up.

[Play Care]

Maybe I'm the exception, but I LOVE out of town guests! It means that I didn't have to do the driving, for one thing, but also, it's my family, and I WANT them around.

No, I agree. I totally see the need for downtime, but if my job was so overwhelming/exhausting it interfered with fun, out of the ordinary plans, it would be time to look into doing something else

Of course, there are certain family members I would not want staying,but that would be true no matter what!::

[sharlan]

I would tell them that licensing requirements dictate that you are NOT allowed to have overnight guests who are over the age of 18. And act as if you are terribly upset about it. Then offer them a hotel room in the next county

I don't understand this. Why lie? If it's really an issue for you, just explain to them that you can't handle overnight guests at this time.

My sister comes several times a year for a month or so and usually stays at my house, sleeps on my sofa. I don't have a problem with it, normally. Last Oct, I heard through the grapevine that she AND her dh (whom I can't profess to love) were going to stay here for 10 days. My niece was going to take a week off of work and they would be coming and going late at night. All 3 smoke, so they're in and out 1/2 the night to go out to have a cigarette. The constant in and out, plus the smoke, wakes up my dd, sil, and grandson. I told her, sorry, not happening. Yeah, she got hurt, but she lived.

[wdmmom]

I love my family and I love even more than we live about 3.5 hours from each other. We have my parents or my sister and her family visit about 6 times per year. Out of 52 weekends a year, I can give up 6 to accommodate them. Sure it's more food and laundry to do and my oldest has to bunk in the basement or with her sisters but to me for them to pay the outrageous gas prices and visit means more to me. If they had to fork out extra money for a hotel they'd never visit.

I think opening your home to family is part of marriage. Grin and bear it!

[Unregistered]

I totally see the need for downtime, but if my job was so overwhelming/exhausting it interfered with fun, out of the ordinary plans, it would be time to look into doing something else

Of course, there are certain family members I would not want staying,but that would be true no matter what!::

My job is really fulfilling to me, and I love it! But I agree with the second part. Some of your comments made me realize that there are many people I would look forward to hosting... I guess just not this particular group..

But the overall consensus is probably right. Maybe the thing to do is just grin and bear it.