NO Free Time Please......................

[daycare]

for some reason when it comes to me and my daycare parents, when it rains it pours...

So I have a dck age 4.

Every day during free play this child could not make a good decision if it landed on his head.

Now during structured lesson, activities or anything that I lead, this child is very well behaved and makes great choices/decisions.

Well every day the kid has a great day until we get to free play. Most of them time whatever he did warrants a talk with the parents.

DCM tells me yesterday that as soon as they get home if she does not having something for him to do, its the same thing. She said she has to have one thing after the next lined up or she will pay the price. OF COURSE now she is asking me to not have free play, because her child can't function during that time.

UUUMMM NOoooooo, not going to happen.

One of the many reasons I use free play as a time to sit and observe the kids. I want to see if the lessons I taught them have stuck. Especially the lessons of making good decisions.

I know some of you have dealt with this before. Any ideas on how to handle both parent and child on this??

[nannyde]

I would do all free play all the time. He is begging you to leave him be. He doesn't need any help with adult generated activity success. He is gifted in that. He needs “no adult" so he can build that part of his brain.

GO
PLAY
TOYS

I haven't met a kid who didn't want an adult to service their minute to minute. You have just run into one who is slick enough to make it happen.

He's good. Real good. :-)

[Rockgirl]

I've had kids like this. When I see that they're having trouble making a good choice, I give them two options...."Johnny, you may either build with blocks, or play with the farm." Some kids really are overwhelmed with too many choices.

[daycare]

I would do all free play all the time. He is begging you to leave him be. He doesn't need any help with adult generated activity success. He is gifted in that. He needs “no adult" so he can build that part of his brain.

GO
PLAY
TOYS

I haven't met a kid who didn't want an adult to service their minute to minute. You have just run into one who is slick enough to make it happen.

He's good. Real good. :-)

nan.....MWF is our scheduled days that we do class time for his age group. I teach pre kinder here.

The youngers pretty much play all day until age 4.

On the other days, T and Th, it's all day free play for all of the kids. No matter how many times I say go play, the child does go play, in fact he is quite creative. Can play dramatic play for hours. He just won't listen to any of his friends words and will anger them, then make a bad decision when they react...

I am about to pop on this one.....

[daycare]

I've had kids like this. When I see that they're having trouble making a good choice, I give them two options...."Johnny, you may either build with blocks, or play with the farm." Some kids really are overwhelmed with too many choices.

we dont have a ton of choices. We have 3 choices and only two can come out at a time.

Usually what ends up is that I have to send this child back to the classroom part of the house and have them read or color alone, away from everyone.

I am about to not even offer free choice to the child anymore and just have him go straight to the classroom part of the house and read or color...... I know he can do this without any issues, but would that be the wrong thing to do? Would taking him away from the free play time be a bad thing? I think it would be, because once he leaves on to formal schooling, he will not have someone to HELICOPTER over him like his mom does.UGH.... and I refuse to ever do that.

??

[Leigh]

I would do all free play all the time. He is begging you to leave him be. He doesn't need any help with adult generated activity success. He is gifted in that. He needs “no adult" so he can build that part of his brain.

GO
PLAY
TOYS

I haven't met a kid who didn't want an adult to service their minute to minute. You have just run into one who is slick enough to make it happen.

He's good. Real good. :-)

I agree 100%. Most all day at my house is free play or slightly structured play. I don't have a curriculum, and I never will. I am not a preschool-my kids leave here for 3-4 hours of preschool during the day, but I don't do it. I wouldn't want it, either.

My firm belief is that kids are over scheduled and over structured-I WANT my kids to play all day: go outside and get dirty, build forts out of couch cushions, collect bugs, make mud pies, and stack my Tupperware up to the ceiling. They DO learn from free play, and I believe they learn so much more from it. We DO talk colors, letters, numbers at my house. We DO read. But I think they are learning all day long from exploring and asking questions (and we all know that we probably, literally, answer 1000 questions a day on some days!

I'm not criticizing you, and I know that many parents want 100% adult driven activities, but if you want a little Stepford child, you're talking to the wrong provider.

I'd tell Mom that kids need to learn how to fill their time on their own. THIS is what gives them the skills to be leaders in the real world when they grow up.

[daycare]

I agree 100%. Most all day at my house is free play or slightly structured play. I don't have a curriculum, and I never will. I am not a preschool-my kids leave here for 3-4 hours of preschool during the day, but I don't do it. I wouldn't want it, either.

My firm belief is that kids are over scheduled and over structured-I WANT my kids to play all day: go outside and get dirty, build forts out of couch cushions, collect bugs, make mud pies, and stack my Tupperware up to the ceiling. They DO learn from free play, and I believe they learn so much more from it. We DO talk colors, letters, numbers at my house. We DO read. But I think they are learning all day long from exploring and asking questions (and we all know that we probably, literally, answer 1000 questions a day on some days!

I'm not criticizing you, and I know that many parents want 100% adult driven activities, but if you want a little Stepford child, you're talking to the wrong provider.

I'd tell Mom that kids need to learn how to fill their time on their own. THIS is what gives them the skills to be leaders in the real world when they grow up.

all of my teaching are learn through play, excluding my pre-kinder program. I am a in-home preschool. So this is what I do.

I love what I do and so far this is the only child that I have that CANT function during free play and I guess this would make it the first time that a parent has asked such a crazy request.

[daycare]

I agree with what you guys are saying.. I am such a firm believer in learn through play. But we still set a lesson 3 days a week.

What do I tell this parent? She thinks he does not need free play and I have no clue what to tell her...

Oh and by the way she is a child psychologist, who Knows EVERYTHING.....in my eyes she is like the bad dentist. You know the dentist who knows it all but has cavities.....

[preschoolteacher]

I agree 100%. Most all day at my house is free play or slightly structured play. I don't have a curriculum, and I never will. I am not a preschool-my kids leave here for 3-4 hours of preschool during the day, but I don't do it. I wouldn't want it, either.

My firm belief is that kids are over scheduled and over structured-I WANT my kids to play all day: go outside and get dirty, build forts out of couch cushions, collect bugs, make mud pies, and stack my Tupperware up to the ceiling. They DO learn from free play, and I believe they learn so much more from it. We DO talk colors, letters, numbers at my house. We DO read. But I think they are learning all day long from exploring and asking questions (and we all know that we probably, literally, answer 1000 questions a day on some days!

I'm not criticizing you, and I know that many parents want 100% adult driven activities, but if you want a little Stepford child, you're talking to the wrong provider.

I'd tell Mom that kids need to learn how to fill their time on their own. THIS is what gives them the skills to be leaders in the real world when they grow up.

This is MY kind of preschool. I totally disagree with the idea that preschool has to mean adult generated activities. Sounds like you are running a very educational preschool even if you aren't calling it that!

[preschoolteacher]

Oh and by the way she is a child psychologist, who Knows EVERYTHING.....in my eyes she is like the bad dentist. You know the dentist who knows it all but has cavities.....

Oh no! I thought maybe giving her some information on play-based learning would help out, but if she's in this profession, then she really should know.

Can you try to explain that by cutting out free time for her son that he will not be able to learn how to play well and behave during free time? If a child couldn't learn to tie his shoes, you wouldn't just take away all shoes with laces and have him wearing Velrco until he's 13--ya know what I mean?

[countrymom]

well the mom thing, he is begging for her attention, thats why he wants her to engage in his play.

now your problem. I would keep telling him to go play toys, watch him and listen to him and just redirect. I always have a third ear so I can hear the convo the kids have and try to help them resolve. Play is really important with kids. I also find that some kids need to be told if its a good decision or not. Sometimes if you give kids a choice a or b they still can't decide.

also, what happens at your daycare is your doing, what happens with mom is her doing. No free play, thats the dumbest thing I heard. How are they going to develop and imagination and engage with friends if all they did was hang out with adults.

[Laurel]

for some reason when it comes to me and my daycare parents, when it rains it pours...

So I have a dck age 4.

Every day during free play this child could not make a good decision if it landed on his head.

Now during structured lesson, activities or anything that I lead, this child is very well behaved and makes great choices/decisions.

Well every day the kid has a great day until we get to free play. Most of them time whatever he did warrants a talk with the parents.

DCM tells me yesterday that as soon as they get home if she does not having something for him to do, its the same thing. She said she has to have one thing after the next lined up or she will pay the price. OF COURSE now she is asking me to not have free play, because her child can't function during that time.

UUUMMM NOoooooo, not going to happen.

One of the many reasons I use free play as a time to sit and observe the kids. I want to see if the lessons I taught them have stuck. Especially the lessons of making good decisions.

I know some of you have dealt with this before. Any ideas on how to handle both parent and child on this??

You say most of the time what he did during free play warrants a talk with the parents. I tend to not tell parents what happens at daycare unless it is really something serious. A kind of "What happens at daycare stays at daycare." I do this because I don't want the parents asking for things like this parent is asking of you. Also, I met a teacher once whose own child had problems at school that she was trying to figure out and working on what was going on with him. She said it was sooo depressing to show up at school and hear something bad every day. Not saying that is going on at your house but that is what your comment made me think of. I'd rather handle it my way in daycare and she can handle it her way at home (cause she is going to anyway )

Just on an off chance but do you think he is hearing okay? You mentioned he doesn't listen to the other children's words. Are you sure he is hearing them okay? Just a thought. When my son was in kindergarten the teacher said he wasn't listening and he needed tubes in his ears back then. The doctor said he wasn't hearing the teacher as he had almost no hearing in one ear.

Laurel

[Familycare71]

I agree 100%. Most all day at my house is free play or slightly structured play. I don't have a curriculum, and I never will. I am not a preschool-my kids leave here for 3-4 hours of preschool during the day, but I don't do it. I wouldn't want it, either.

My firm belief is that kids are over scheduled and over structured-I WANT my kids to play all day: go outside and get dirty, build forts out of couch cushions, collect bugs, make mud pies, and stack my Tupperware up to the ceiling. They DO learn from free play, and I believe they learn so much more from it. We DO talk colors, letters, numbers at my house. We DO read. But I think they are learning all day long from exploring and asking questions (and we all know that we probably, literally, answer 1000 questions a day on some days!

I'm not criticizing you, and I know that many parents want 100% adult driven activities, but if you want a little Stepford child, you're talking to the wrong provider.

I'd tell Mom that kids need to learn how to fill their time on their own. THIS is what gives them the skills to be leaders in the real world when they grow up.

It is SO nice to hear someone else believe this!!! Sometimes I feel like I'm "being lazy" or not guiding enough but I believe 13 years of school is plenty! Kids NEED to play and explore!! I also use "teachable" moments but I don't want to direct them every moment- I want them to explore and learn how to be good friends!!

[Leigh]

I agree with what you guys are saying.. I am such a firm believer in learn through play. But we still set a lesson 3 days a week.

What do I tell this parent? She thinks he does not need free play and I have no clue what to tell her...

Oh and by the way she is a child psychologist, who Knows EVERYTHING.....in my eyes she is like the bad dentist. You know the dentist who knows it all but has cavities.....

Whoa...you deserve a medal for even accepting one of her kids! I honestly don't think I would even consider the child of a psychologist. I am NOT knocking Child Psy., but I wouldn't want to deal with one as a daycare parent!

[daycare]

You say most of the time what he did during free play warrants a talk with the parents. I tend to not tell parents what happens at daycare unless it is really something serious. A kind of "What happens at daycare stays at daycare." I do this because I don't want the parents asking for things like this parent is asking of you. Also, I met a teacher once whose own child had problems at school that she was trying to figure out and working on what was going on with him. She said it was sooo depressing to show up at school and hear something bad every day. Not saying that is going on at your house but that is what your comment made me think of. I'd rather handle it my way in daycare and she can handle it her way at home (cause she is going to anyway )

Just on an off chance but do you think he is hearing okay? You mentioned he doesn't listen to the other children's words. Are you sure he is hearing them okay? Just a thought. When my son was in kindergarten the teacher said he wasn't listening and he needed tubes in his ears back then. The doctor said he wasn't hearing the teacher as he had almost no hearing in one ear.

Laurel

the things that he is doing unfortunately warrant a phone call home. Stuff like hitting, spitting, or basically hurting others or himself. its not every day, but I would say about 3 days a week on average. I always do my best to leave daycare and at daycare and vs.

I know what you mean about always having to here the bad things. Trust me when I tell you that there are many days that I just don't say anything at all.

The child is VERY loud. He talks to you as though you are in the other room, when we are sitting right there. I think it has to do with that the mom is a yeller. I am pretty sure that he hears just fine. I asked mom last year about if they had tested it and they said yes, hes fine???? His first week with me about 2 years ago, I thought the same thing. Wow why is he not listening to anyone and why does he talk so loud. I whisper pretty much all day and tell the kids if you can't hear me, then you are talking too loud.