DCM called out other DCM??? What to do

[littlemissmuffet]

If this was the only requirement, then the family that signed on did as asked and I would personally just do as I had offered.

In the future though, I would make sure I stated that I would stay open ONLY if a minimum number of families signed on.

I think if you try and say you don't want to stay open now because there aren't enough families, I would (as a parent) be upset that you didn't say that from the beginning.

As for the argument the two DCM's had..... why is it any of the first DCM's business why the other DCM signed her kids up for a day there is no work?

Maybe the second DCM that signed up wants to take care of some other things not work related.

That was really rude of the DCM to confront the other one like she did. :confused:

They work together and their children share the same daycare. I have a feeling that the confronting dcm knows/sees that the confronted dcm spends alot of time out of work NOT with her child.

Maybe that kind of thing doesn't sit well with confronting mom. I know it doesn't sit well with me. I hear all kinds of excuses all week long about why parents can't be with their kids while they're not at work (and if these parents didn't feel like they were doing something wrong, why are they trying so hard to explain themselves to me?) and I think the majority of it is garbage.

Even though I KNOW it's none of my business and that the other mom very well might have a valid excuse to have her child at daycare... I'm pretty sure if I was in the same situation, I'd have asked the other mom the same thing.

[Blackcat31]

They work together and their children share the same daycare. I have a feeling that the confronting dcm knows/sees that the confronted dcm spends alot of time out of work NOT with her child.

Maybe that kind of thing doesn't sit well with confronting mom. I know it doesn't sit well with me. I hear all kinds of excuses all week long about why parents can't be with their kids while they're not at work (and if these parents didn't feel like they were doing something wrong, why are they trying so hard to explain themselves to me?) and I think the majority of it is garbage.

Even though I KNOW it's none of my business and that the other mom very well might have a valid excuse to have her child at daycare... I'm pretty sure if I was in the same situation, I'd have asked the other mom the same thing.

Oh, I hear you and definitely agree, I just find it terribly rude for a daycare parent to confront another daycare parent...even of they re co-workers.

If DCM #1 was in a position of authority over the other DCM at work, then she should discuss work related issues at work and not at daycare.

Also, if either DCM feels the other is taking advantage of the provider, that is still not her place to say.

Plus, provider already said she doesn't care if the parent is working or not so why the family signed on for that day or not is no one's business.

NOT wanting to spend time with your own child doesn't sit well with me but neither does one parent trying to tell another how to parent...kwim?

(I don't mean any of what I said snarky or rude... just putting my perspective out there.... LOL! In light of the forum mood lately, I feel I need to say that. )

[RosieMommy]

the mom that signed up did not say anything about what she is doing. She simply signed up her kids.

The funny part is that the ones that it was intended for that work in the service indy did not sign up and instead said please take the day off, I will send to grannies house...

I guess I should let this family know right now that we are not open.

As BC said, I don't care why they needed to sign up, she may need to run errands or have plans to go into work....

UGH I hate myself when I do stuff like this...

Why do I have to always worry so much.....

If you said you were going to be open and did not have stipulations, you should be open. If you aren't, be up front with the parent and tell her why you're going back on what you said you would do.

[daycare]

They work together and their children share the same daycare. I have a feeling that the confronting dcm knows/sees that the confronted dcm spends alot of time out of work NOT with her child.

Maybe that kind of thing doesn't sit well with confronting mom. I know it doesn't sit well with me. I hear all kinds of excuses all week long about why parents can't be with their kids while they're not at work (and if these parents didn't feel like they were doing something wrong, why are they trying so hard to explain themselves to me?) and I think the majority of it is garbage.

Even though I KNOW it's none of my business and that the other mom very well might have a valid excuse to have her child at daycare... I'm pretty sure if I was in the same situation, I'd have asked the other mom the same thing.

I think you could be right....
One of the moms is always going to bat for me with the other mom, which should be my job. BUt I just try to stay out of it....

[Play Care]

I have done something similar in the past BUT I put on the sign up sheet that there is a three family minimum, if they sign up but decide not to come at the last minute I still get paid, etc.
I know others will disagree, but IMO there is really no way to get out of what you offered to do without looking extremely unprofessional. I would consider it a lesson learned, and if you do a sign up sheet ever again make sure the terms are right on the sheet.
I also think that if you feel taken advantage of by the family who signed up for the day, then you need to find a way to deal with it. I would be mortified if one of my dc families felt they had to confront another family on my behalf.

[daycare]

I hear what you are saying...I do agree...I am going to have to **** it up. I don't expect the other family to go to bat for me. But I can't control what the other day care mom says to the other. I dont even talk about it to either of them.......

I try to keep out of their conversations the best that I can..

[MyAngels]

If you said you were going to be open and did not have stipulations, you should be open. If you aren't, be up front with the parent and tell her why you're going back on what you said you would do.

As far as the tiff between the parents, I'd stay out of it.

[Sugar Magnolia]

I would be closed. NOT WORTH IT!!!

[countrymom]

I would let her know that because no other family signed up that you are not going to open. I also think that something else is going on and the mom got caught.

[VTMom]

If this was the only requirement, then the family that signed on did as asked and I would personally just do as I had offered.

In the future though, I would make sure I stated that I would stay open ONLY if a minimum number of families signed on.

I think if you try and say you don't want to stay open now because there aren't enough families, I would (as a parent) be upset that you didn't say that from the beginning.

As for the argument the two DCM's had..... why is it any of the first DCM's business why the other DCM signed her kids up for a day there is no work?

Maybe the second DCM that signed up wants to take care of some other things not work related.

That was really rude of the DCM to confront the other one like she did. :confused:

I agree and would do the same thing. Is there any way you can make a fun day out of it? Go to the beach, or a fieldtrip or something? Something you wouldn't be able to do if you had more kids?

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Oh, I hear you and definitely agree, I just find it terribly rude for a daycare parent to confront another daycare parent...even of they re co-workers.

If DCM #1 was in a position of authority over the other DCM at work, then she should discuss work related issues at work and not at daycare.

Also, if either DCM feels the other is taking advantage of the provider, that is still not her place to say.

Plus, provider already said she doesn't care if the parent is working or not so why the family signed on for that day or not is no one's business.

NOT wanting to spend time with your own child doesn't sit well with me but neither does one parent trying to tell another how to parent...kwim?

(I don't mean any of what I said snarky or rude... just putting my perspective out there.... LOL! In light of the forum mood lately, I feel I need to say that. )

:: Maybe it's the Aspie in me ... but when did we become so politically correct as a society that it stopped being okay to confront people about their BAD behavior? I'm not saying that rudely, I'm saying that as a general question. If we confronted bad behavior with more head on confrontational behavior then maybe it would stop! Maybe if more people told this Mom, "You aren't working, your kid shouldn't be in daycare he should be with you!" then maybe this kiddo would get more quality time with Mom.

I think confrontational people are sometimes beneficial. It helps people to see the bad choices they are making. I actually kind of think we need more of that in the society we live in now. Our society is just plain straight scary because no one wants to step on each other's toes or get in each other's business. I was actually reading about this in a brain research book that touched on bad parenting techniques. Very interesting!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I think you could be right....
One of the moms is always going to bat for me with the other mom, which should be my job. BUt I just try to stay out of it....

Some people just have that little personality trait and I actually don't see anything wrong with it! If the in your face DCM wants to "fight" the other DCM when she sees her making poor choices then so be it. I'd let her!

[mrsnj]

If this was the only requirement, then the family that signed on did as asked and I would personally just do as I had offered.

In the future though, I would make sure I stated that I would stay open ONLY if a minimum number of families signed on.

I think if you try and say you don't want to stay open now because there aren't enough families, I would (as a parent) be upset that you didn't say that from the beginning.

As for the argument the two DCM's had..... why is it any of the first DCM's business why the other DCM signed her kids up for a day there is no work?

Maybe the second DCM that signed up wants to take care of some other things not work related.

That was really rude of the DCM to confront the other one like she did. :confused:

I agree. If I offered to be open then open I am. You didnt say it was a requirement to work. You said sign up by a certain date. Dcm did her end. If it were me I would be open and learn from my mistake.

I agree on the other mom too. Wasn't her place. I get parent who have off and bring their kids all the time. I would be spending time with my family myself but obviously not all have the same view.

[lolaland]

:: Maybe it's the Aspie in me ... but when did we become so politically correct as a society that it stopped being okay to confront people about their BAD behavior? I'm not saying that rudely, I'm saying that as a general question. If we confronted bad behavior with more head on confrontational behavior then maybe it would stop! Maybe if more people told this Mom, "You aren't working, your kid shouldn't be in daycare he should be with you!" then maybe this kiddo would get more quality time with Mom.

I think confrontational people are sometimes beneficial. It helps people to see the bad choices they are making. I actually kind of think we need more of that in the society we live in now. Our society is just plain straight scary because no one wants to step on each other's toes or get in each other's business. I was actually reading about this in a brain research book that touched on bad parenting techniques. Very interesting!

lovethis Exactly how I feel!

[Blackcat31]

:: Maybe it's the Aspie in me ... but when did we become so politically correct as a society that it stopped being okay to confront people about their BAD behavior? I'm not saying that rudely, I'm saying that as a general question. If we confronted bad behavior with more head on confrontational behavior then maybe it would stop! Maybe if more people told this Mom, "You aren't working, your kid shouldn't be in daycare he should be with you!" then maybe this kiddo would get more quality time with Mom.

I think confrontational people are sometimes beneficial. It helps people to see the bad choices they are making. I actually kind of think we need more of that in the society we live in now. Our society is just plain straight scary because no one wants to step on each other's toes or get in each other's business. I was actually reading about this in a brain research book that touched on bad parenting techniques. Very interesting!

I don't think society should confront people with bad behaviors, but I do think there should be consequences for bad behaviors though.

Also in this particular instance, I don't think there was any bad behavior. Only opinions on parenting styles (I don't think it is "bad" behavior to have your child in care when you aren't working). OP even said that was not an issue for her.

Also as child care providers WE value time spent with our children but that same value may not be as high of a priority for ALL parents so I don't think that anyone should be able to rightfully confront anyone in regards to HOW they parent; especially if it doesn't effect that person directly and isn't behavior considered illegal....kwim?

Hope that makes sense.