New DCP Wants To Stay And Watch For 2 Weeks

[daycare]

we had some very unfortunate incident happen here at one of our local preschool centers, that ended up with a preschool teacher behind bars and the center getting shut down.

With that happening, it has made everyone in the community or within miles of here very skeptical of daycares and what not.

The calls for daycare stopping coming in, parents were only leaving children with family or close friends. I was in a drought for some time.

When I finally got calls, the parents would make request similar to yours.

I don't allow for parents to stay. 1, it's against my state regs and 2, we never want to start out a child in care with a schedule that will later change. Meaning don't start child care with mom there and have the child think it will always be this way. IF mom can stay for two weeks, then she can stay home with them.

SO, what I did was this.

I told the parents to do a drop in schedule and come towards the very end of the day when I only have a child or two left. Then, they could stay about 10-15 minutes here and there to get to know me and see that their child is ok here.

Normally, I would never do this, but if I didn't, I would not have anyone getting enrolled. I have only had to do it 5 times so far and it was not that bad. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do. Things change the way our business is ran and we have to adapt.

From the 5 families that came on the schedule that I listed above, 3 enrolled and 1 of them gave me a wonderful referral that enrolled without having to come and observe at all.

[littlemissmuffet]

I had an interview this morning with a new DCP (grandparent actually). She has been watching the child for the past 19 months, and now they want her in full time daycare. During the email exchanges she said they wanted her to be part time a while, and then switch to full time.

She showed up today and everything was going well, until she said that for the first 2 weeks, she wants to come with the child for the entire time, from 8am-1pm. I am so uncomfortable with this on so many levels, but it is also really hard to fill toddler spots, so I'm torn.

Any advice on how I can discourage this, but also not lose the chance to have the child here?

I don't allow parents in my playroom for any amount of time during daycare hours EVER! I have never had a parent question this policy and if they did, they obviously aren't a match for me.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I'd probably tell her it would be too disruptive to your routine. If you use the background check reason, she'd probably just let you run one!

That's true. You also need to consider how UNCOMFORTABLE it would make your other clients to have an adult they do not know around their child for that many hours per day. They didn't sign up for care from you and this stranger. As a parent, this would be a deal breaker for me if I found out my child's daycare was allowing this. As a daycare provider, it just plain straight weirds me out.

[DaisyMamma]

If she wants to stay because she doesn't trust you, then the relationship won't work.

This is true. And if it is why then it could pose future problems.

Did she say why she wants to do it? Is it to help the transition? If so, it will only be hurting the transition. She needs to just drop her off for more time each time she drops off.

If it's because she is overprotective then it will also mean that there will be future problems/strange requests.

[Laurel]

I'd probably tell her it would be too disruptive to your routine. If you use the background check reason, she'd probably just let you run one!

No, no, no, she would have to bring it and pay for it.

Laurel

[Rockgirl]

No, no, no, she would have to bring it and pay for it.

Laurel

Right--basically I just meant I would be afraid to use that for a reason, because she wouldn't let it stand in her way. Here we have to run the background checks through the state ourselves for anyone coming into the home on a regular basis.

[jenn]

No way! That is not fair to you, nobody wants to be watched half the day! It's not fair to your other DCK's as they don't get to have a family member there playing with them. It's not fair to your other daycare families as they didn't agree to have another adult around watching, they hired you. It's not fair to the new DCK as they will get used to having the grandma around and it could cause separation anxiety when grandma decides to quit staying.

In Kansas, that wouldn't even be legal unless she had a KBI check and health assessment.

I would not allow it. If they want "special treatment" now, they will want it later too.

[Lorna]

No way I would allow that. That is crazy to even ask. The child would behave totally different with her there. Plus you can't have an adult in the daycare with the other children. Legally that could be a nightmare if something happened. You step out of the room for a minute. You couldn't even go to the bathroom. You would be leaving a stranger with everyone elses kids.

[MCC]

Does your licensing agency even allow that?

Mine wouldn't unless she had a background check on file with them.


I'd simply tell her that for the safety of all the children in your care you can't allow her to do that, just as if another family interviewed and wanted to hang out around her grandchild you wouldn't allow that either.

This is a great point, I didn't even think about that. I am currently not licensed, but I do strictly follow the requirements, and am in the waiting process of getting my license, so thanks, I didn't even think about this.

[MCC]

I'd probably tell her it would be too disruptive to your routine. If you use the background check reason, she'd probably just let you run one!

She told me she quit her job at a large daycare center in order to watch her GD, I think she probably already has all the requirements to be here. My main problem is, I don't want another adult here unless they are here to help with ALL of the children.

It also is way more hectic and chaotic when another adult is here, since the children are used to having my full attention, and then another adult is taking that away.

[Blackcat31]

How to handle this very situation was one of the first things I learned from this forum. I saved it because I think it has some VERY valid reasons and makes a lot of sense both to say to a parent and for a parent to hear so they can better understand your reasons. Here is the advice I got:

"I have this line on standby for potentials who want to observe:

"While I understand that you would want to "see me in action" before leaving your child for the first time, I cannot allow it for several reasons.

First is the privacy of the other children and their family's. I do diaper changes, deal with medical issues/conditions, and discuss their home life with them on a daily basis. I have a strict privacy policy and having another adult around violates the trust between my clients and myself.

Second, you are a stranger to the children and their parents. Please consider how you would feel if your child were in care and I allowed a strange adult to the daycare to observe your child.

Third, I consider the trust my clients place in me the cornerstone of our relationship. In a childcare relationship I am asking that a client trust me completely with their child. I ask for honesty and open communication. Asking me to prove myself above and beyond my criminal background check, photo identification, insurance information, and references is not something I am willing to do.

I do understand if you need to find other arrangements. Just know that I value the children's safety and security above all else and allowing adults in to observe them is not part of the safe and secure environment I promise them each and every day."

[MCC]

This is true. And if it is why then it could pose future problems.

Did she say why she wants to do it? Is it to help the transition? If so, it will only be hurting the transition. She needs to just drop her off for more time each time she drops off.

If it's because she is overprotective then it will also mean that there will be future problems/strange requests.

I didn't get the impression it was a trust issue. She told me that she didn't want to traumatize her GD, and thinks this will help with the transition. I agree with you that it will make it much more difficult for the child to adapt. Honestly, the little girl seemed FINE. She was not shy in any way, so I'm not sure why the lady was assuming she would have a tough time. She hopped out of her lap and started playing within a couple of minutes.

She also told me she still rocks her to sleep for naps (19 months old ) and was wondering if I would do the same. I told her no.

She just emailed me saying she wants to start her out with 1 hour a day, and then add her in slowly. It's not worth the $10/hour to have her here if she isn't going to be here for at least 5 hours a day.

I am thinking I'm going to tell her thanks, but no thanks.

[MCC]

No way I would allow that. That is crazy to even ask. The child would behave totally different with her there. Plus you can't have an adult in the daycare with the other children. Legally that could be a nightmare if something happened. You step out of the room for a minute. You couldn't even go to the bathroom. You would be leaving a stranger with everyone elses kids.

That's what I was thinking too... not even the legal side, which I sadly didn't even think of, but the bathroom... Like I don't want another adult just sitting in the playroom while I am using the restroom.

Or during free play I often browse the internet, or pay bills, or organize files, so what is she going to think about that??

[MCC]

How to handle this very situation was one of the first things I learned from this forum. I saved it because I think it has some VERY valid reasons and makes a lot of sense both to say to a parent and for a parent to hear so they can better understand your reasons. Here is the advice I got:

"I have this line on standby for potentials who want to observe:

"While I understand that you would want to "see me in action" before leaving your child for the first time, I cannot allow it for several reasons.

First is the privacy of the other children and their family's. I do diaper changes, deal with medical issues/conditions, and discuss their home life with them on a daily basis. I have a strict privacy policy and having another adult around violates the trust between my clients and myself.

Second, you are a stranger to the children and their parents. Please consider how you would feel if your child were in care and I allowed a strange adult to the daycare to observe your child.

Third, I consider the trust my clients place in me the cornerstone of our relationship. In a childcare relationship I am asking that a client trust me completely with their child. I ask for honesty and open communication. Asking me to prove myself above and beyond my criminal background check, photo identification, insurance information, and references is not something I am willing to do.

I do understand if you need to find other arrangements. Just know that I value the children's safety and security above all else and allowing adults in to observe them is not part of the safe and secure environment I promise them each and every day."

This is perfect. I might just copy and paste this into an email right now. Thank you so much, you are a wise one!

[Blackcat31]

This is perfect. I might just copy and paste this into an email right now. Thank you so much, you are a wise one!

Thanks! but I was only wise enough to copy, paste and save it.

The actual words/advice come from a different but very wise provider

Glad it was helpful though!