New DCP Wants To Stay And Watch For 2 Weeks

[MCC]

I had an interview this morning with a new DCP (grandparent actually). She has been watching the child for the past 19 months, and now they want her in full time daycare. During the email exchanges she said they wanted her to be part time a while, and then switch to full time.

She showed up today and everything was going well, until she said that for the first 2 weeks, she wants to come with the child for the entire time, from 8am-1pm. I am so uncomfortable with this on so many levels, but it is also really hard to fill toddler spots, so I'm torn.

Any advice on how I can discourage this, but also not lose the chance to have the child here?

[Willow]

Does your licensing agency even allow that?

Mine wouldn't unless she had a background check on file with them.


I'd simply tell her that for the safety of all the children in your care you can't allow her to do that, just as if another family interviewed and wanted to hang out around her grandchild you wouldn't allow that either.

[sarahhardy2711]

I would just be honest that you feel uncomfortable with 2 weeks, since kids act differently around family members. Also it wouldn't be just the potential DCK that would act differently ALL the kids would. And that's exactly what I would say. I would feel uncomfortable but would allow the 1st day. If they don't feel comfortable enough to just leave the kid then they should find someone else.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I would just be honest that you feel uncomfortable with 2 weeks, since kids act differently around family members. Also it wouldn't be just the potential DCK that would act differently ALL the kids would. And that's exactly what I would say. I would feel uncomfortable but would allow the 1st day. If they don't feel comfortable enough to just leave the kid then they should find someone else.

Exactly, although I will not allow a parent to attend for any reason. There is an open door policy and they are allowed to technically come and go as they please, but this is not a zoo and I don't allow for observations as it is disruptive.

There is absolutely no way I would allow this to occur.

[snbauser]

I think the others have given good responses. I would not do it. If they are nervous about leaving then they can start with an hour at a time and gradually leave her longer. If she wants to stay because she doesn't trust you, then the relationship won't work.

[CedarCreek]

I would have hard time not laughing in her face.

I agree that it would be against licensing though.

[Lyss]

Wow!

If you want to try I'd tell her that state law prohibits anyone from being in the daycare home for more than just drop off and pick up to have background check and fingerprinting for the safety of all children.

Personally I would pass, that's a red flag to me. I certainly would not allow 2 weeks of a parent hanging out. Think of what will happen in 2 weeks when the DCK assumes that the parent will be coming everyday but she then leaves? Plus It throws off the dynamic of the group when one parent (or grandparent) is present and children do not act the same when parents are present. I'm sure the parent would want you to entertain them as well and could spent the whole time questioning and "suggesting" things about your program.

I don't think my other parents would be ok with that.

[NeedaVaca]

I would have hard time not laughing in her face.

I agree that it would be against licensing though.

That's what I thought! When I saw the thread title I thought it was a joke! No way would I allow this and it really isn't in the best interest of the child, they would be so confused after the 2 weeks...I can't imagine other parent's would like it either, having someone they don't know around the kids all day for 2 weeks. Too many issues to list for what this grandma wants, I would say no.

[bunnyslippers]

I would not allow it. There is a confidentiality issue with the OTHER children in your care. Not to mention, it would just be really awkward and uncomfortable.

[DaycareMomma]

No way no how. Would she expect you to make her meals? Would she pay you to "watch" her too? Would she lay down at nap time like the kids? Sorry but way too much of liability in my opinion.

[Laurel]

I had an interview this morning with a new DCP (grandparent actually). She has been watching the child for the past 19 months, and now they want her in full time daycare. During the email exchanges she said they wanted her to be part time a while, and then switch to full time.

She showed up today and everything was going well, until she said that for the first 2 weeks, she wants to come with the child for the entire time, from 8am-1pm. I am so uncomfortable with this on so many levels, but it is also really hard to fill toddler spots, so I'm torn.

Any advice on how I can discourage this, but also not lose the chance to have the child here?

I think I would compromise. My first parent ever used to bring her baby 1/2 hour early...I know...but it worked out fine. However, she only stayed 1/2 hour and fed the baby breakfast and we talked. I really liked the mom.

I would tell this grandma that I know it is hard to leave her grandchild but anyone staying more than just a little while must legally be fingerprinted and have a background check. Also, tell her you'd have to check with your daycare liability insurance carrier to see if you'd need to increase your insurance because you don't know if it would be valid with another adult here should some accident occur. Like what if she accidently hurts another child while interacting with her grandchild. (She could pay the extra insurance premium.)

If the above doesn't discourage her maybe say that she can stay 1/2 hour at drop off for two weeks to get a feel for your daycare. Tell her she can feed her grandchild or whatever. Also tell her she can call all your references and that should make her feel better. Better still if she can meet some of the current parents within that 1/2 hour that she is there.

Also tell her that the children don't act the same when someone else is here and the other stuff above that others have said.

That is how I would approach it I think.

Laurel

[TheGoodLife]

Does your licensing agency even allow that?

Mine wouldn't unless she had a background check on file with them.


I'd simply tell her that for the safety of all the children in your care you can't allow her to do that, just as if another family interviewed and wanted to hang out around her grandchild you wouldn't allow that either.

That's exactly what I was thinking!

[nannyde]

NO way. I don't allow any observation time.

[Rockgirl]

I'd probably tell her it would be too disruptive to your routine. If you use the background check reason, she'd probably just let you run one!

[Leigh]

Incredible request! Apparently, Grandma is worried and it's hard for her to let go. I think the thing to do is to acknowledge how difficult it is to leave your baby in someone else's care, and that you understand WHY she wants to stay-because it's hard for her to leave and because she feels it would be hard on the child.

I would offer to give Grandma up to an hour to stay the first day and leave it at that. And, definitely let Grandma know that you would have to clear it with licensing FIRST, and would need a background check completed if it were to be any more than that.

No way would I allow more than an hour of that kind of disruption. If she can't handle that, then maybe she should continue providing care at home.