Any Advice For Me?

[KDC]

My Dh's cousin (Age 42) suffered a major heart attack Friday, and doctors are giving him a 5% chance of recovery. His pupils did not react to light, and he does not have a gag reflex. He was going for an EEG and Cat scan, so we will hopefully know more soon. It's not looking good though =(

My DH and him were at one time close. His cousin has type 1 diabetes and has NOT done a good job dealing with his disease (was in a diabetic coma about 5 years ago). He was diagnosed as a child around 12 yrs. old. The more the family tried to 'support' him and caution him, the more he pushed away from everyone to the point that my DH and him haven't spoken in a few years. My DH is handling this situation as best he can, but he's so very sad. His cousin has a twin sister that we are very close with. It hurts us to see her going through this. She had had a falling out with her brother as well, so the guilt is all built up and she's devastated, been at the hospital round the clock. His cousin also has a child, age 10.

My business is important to me, and I don't want to leave my parents in a bind. But family is family, right?... I know there are those on this site that have only closed a handful of times, but I believe I will need to be there for my DH and the rest of the family. He's been a big part of our lives and will be missed dearly.

I do not know when/if he will pass. They will not keep him on life support if he shows brain damage, as those were his wishes.

What do I do? Do I keep the families informed, or just let them know when I know? I don't want to surprise them, but also don't want to string them along? He lives about 2 hours south of here and have three children of my own (4, 6, & 8), so the days of the wake/service will likely need those day off.

[wdmmom]

I usually notify my families through newsletters or mass emails.

I would just issue this:

"Dear Families:

This letter is to notify you that I may need to take some time off in the near future. A family member is in the hospital and the likeliness of survival is unlikely.

Please make the necessary accommodations and have another provider on stand by in the event I need to take time off to be with the family during this time.

Thank you,
Provider"

[NeedaVaca]

I had a situation where I knew my grandpa's health was failing, I knew it was a matter of days or possibly weeks but we knew it was coming. I did let my DCF's know. I just said I would keep them posted but to be prepared for me to take a day off for the funeral.

[2grls4us]

My Dh's cousin (Age 42) suffered a major heart attack Friday, and doctors are giving him a 5% chance of recovery. His pupils did not react to light, and he does not have a gag reflex. He was going for an EEG and Cat scan, so we will hopefully know more soon. It's not looking good though =(

My DH and him were at one time close. His cousin has type 1 diabetes and has NOT done a good job dealing with his disease (was in a diabetic coma about 5 years ago). He was diagnosed as a child around 12 yrs. old. The more the family tried to 'support' him and caution him, the more he pushed away from everyone to the point that my DH and him haven't spoken in a few years. My DH is handling this situation as best he can, but he's so very sad. His cousin has a twin sister that we are very close with. It hurts us to see her going through this. She had had a falling out with her brother as well, so the guilt is all built up and she's devastated, been at the hospital round the clock. His cousin also has a child, age 10.

My business is important to me, and I don't want to leave my parents in a bind. But family is family, right?... I know there are those on this site that have only closed a handful of times, but I believe I will need to be there for my DH and the rest of the family. He's been a big part of our lives and will be missed dearly.

I do not know when/if he will pass. They will not keep him on life support if he shows brain damage, as those were his wishes.

What do I do? Do I keep the families informed, or just let them know when I know? I don't want to surprise them, but also don't want to string them along? He lives about 2 hours south of here and have three children of my own (4, 6, & 8), so the days of the wake/service will likely need those day off.

I think I would give them a heads up if possible. Just let them know what's going on to give them plenty of time to make other arrangements. I recently lost my grandma in April. I told my 3 dcms that night when they picked up and let them know the services would probably be within the workweek. That night when I found out the information of when everything would happen I text messaged them and they all had already gotten coverage worked out for their children. I hope no one gives you any problems for needing off for a couple of days for a death in the family.

[MarinaVanessa]

Personally for me, I wouldn't take off any days unless I was personally close to the ill person. I would definitely take time off for the funeral but not while the person was ailing unless I was very close to the person. I would however encourage my DH to go if he was close to the person or to the family and I would leave as soon as DC was over to be with them after DC hours. I've done it before and have driven out an hour one way to offer my support to the family but did not close my DC. Fortunately the people in the hospital recovered (car crash) and I did not have to attend a funeral but I did notify my families that I might need to take of a day or two for the mass and services if I had to.

[KDC]

ok, thanks for your responses. My heart aches right now. I wasn't super close with him (he was in our wedding, but as I stated the family had a bit of a falling out with him over stupid things (hind sight, 20/20) I am super close with his twin sister, she's the godmother of my child and I want to be there to support HER. My DH will go hoping he can hear a voice, something... , but I will let them know I will need to go to wake/service if it's necessary. I think they'll be understanding, but just thrown off to find coverage... which is understandable.

[MNMum]

In my job at the hospital, I would not be able to take time off for this unless I found a substitute. Funeral leave is only for immediate family members. I would probably treat this similarly. If I was able to find a sub I would do that. If I did take time off, it would be without pay.

[Blackcat31]

My Dh's cousin (Age 42) suffered a major heart attack Friday, and doctors are giving him a 5% chance of recovery. His pupils did not react to light, and he does not have a gag reflex. He was going for an EEG and Cat scan, so we will hopefully know more soon. It's not looking good though =(

My DH and him were at one time close. His cousin has type 1 diabetes and has NOT done a good job dealing with his disease (was in a diabetic coma about 5 years ago). He was diagnosed as a child around 12 yrs. old. The more the family tried to 'support' him and caution him, the more he pushed away from everyone to the point that my DH and him haven't spoken in a few years. My DH is handling this situation as best he can, but he's so very sad. His cousin has a twin sister that we are very close with. It hurts us to see her going through this. She had had a falling out with her brother as well, so the guilt is all built up and she's devastated, been at the hospital round the clock. His cousin also has a child, age 10.

My business is important to me, and I don't want to leave my parents in a bind. But family is family, right?... I know there are those on this site that have only closed a handful of times, but I believe I will need to be there for my DH and the rest of the family. He's been a big part of our lives and will be missed dearly.

I do not know when/if he will pass. They will not keep him on life support if he shows brain damage, as those were his wishes.

What do I do? Do I keep the families informed, or just let them know when I know? I don't want to surprise them, but also don't want to string them along? He lives about 2 hours south of here and have three children of my own (4, 6, & 8), so the days of the wake/service will likely need those day off.

(((hugs)))) for having to go through this. My heart breaks for your DH's cousin's family as I know first hand how hard it is dealing with someone who is Type 1 diabetic but doesn't care for themselves.

The results are devastating and hard to deal with as a family member. (My DH lost his brother who was 34 at the time of his death....all due to complications of diabetes that he didn't control well)

I would personally just keep your families posted the best you can and let them know that you will try and let them know when and if you need to close as soon as you know.

It isn't like something like this can all be planned in advance so hopefully most your families will be understanding.

Hugs to you and your DH and family. :hug:

[e.j.]

I would let the dc families know what's going on and that you may need to close with short notice. That way, they can plan for substitute care instead of being left to scramble for child care at the last minute.

I'm sorry to hear about your dh's cousin. :hug:

[jenn]

I would let them know what is going on and assure them that you will let them know ASAP about the dates you will be closed. Hopefully they will all be understanding, and if they are not, don't worry about it. Emergencies happen and they should have back up. The only other option would be if you have a sub cover for you while you are gone.

[AmyKidsCo]

I'm sorry. :hug:

I agree to keep the families informed. They'll appreciate it and be more understanding than if you surprised them with a sudden closing.