Disciplining Kids In Front Of Parents

[LeslieG]

Do any of you have to discipline kids in front of parents?

I have a parent who comes to pick up right after lunch everyday and it's like as soon as she steps foot in the door the kids think all rules are thrown out the window. They'll start running around everywhere (which I don't allow running inside), get super crazy and wild, and start spitting at each other and sometimes the parent!! Ahh, it drives me nuts because they SO know better, especially the 3 year old.

With that being said, I know that they do this when this parent comes because they know I'm not going to do anything and that they can get away with it. So I am taking the blame for it... but I feel so uncomfortable having to discipline kids in front of parents. I know I just need to get over it and start doing it!

What is your experience with having to discipline kids in front of parents?

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I used to care about "offending" but when a parent won't take control then I sure as heck will.

Now, I REALLY don't care how a parent feels about it if they are letting their child break rules upon hearing me remind their child what the rule is. I will, and have, make a parent wait for their child while their child sits in time out.

[Cradle2crayons]

I used to care about "offending" but when a parent won't take control then I sure as heck will.

Now, I REALLY don't care how a parent feels about it if they are letting their child break rules upon hearing me remind their child what the rule is. I will, and have, make a parent wait for their child while their child sits in time out.

same here!!!!

[butterfly]

I don't play that game! I discipline infront of parents. I will not have a child rule the roost just because a parent showed up. I even tell the child infront of the parent that they can't act this way just because mom or dad is there. I think parents are afraid to discipline in front of me, so I'm certainly not going to be afraid to discipline in front of them or I'll have a house full of monsters every time a parent comes to pick up or drop off.

There have even been times where I've put a child in time out (time outs are very rare here) and I've told the child that mom and dad will have to wait until your time out is done. I make them sit and then they have to talk to me about the behavior AND apoligize before they leave.

[Michelle]

If you know when she is coming everyday, have a special activity planned for that time.. coloring, painting, play dough.. whatever and tell them whoever is misbehaving will go straight to nap time.

not sure if you meant all the kids or just her kids
if it's just her kids... I would discipline in front of her if she won't

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I don't play that game! I discipline infront of parents. I will not have a child rule the roost just because a parent showed up. I even tell the child infront of the parent that they can't act this way just because mom or dad is there. I think parents are afraid to discipline in front of me, so I'm certainly not going to be afraid to discipline in front of them or I'll have a house full of monsters every time a parent comes to pick up or drop off.

There have even been times where I've put a child in time out (time outs are very rare here) and I've told the child that mom and dad will have to wait until your time out is done. I make them sit and then they have to talk to me about the behavior AND apoligize before they leave.

Time outs are pretty rare here too and not the first thing I would go to during the normal school day, BUT I really can't redirect them to another activity when it is time to go home. ::

Is it the parent who is picking up's child who is misbehaving or EVERY child?

[nannyde]

I discipline in front of the parent. I'm not any different when the parent is here than when they aren't. I use the same voice, same prompts, same expectations.

If the parent doesn't like it then this won't work. I don't have door drama because I put a nix on even the slightest misbehavior from the time they CAN misbehave.

I DO tell the parents at the interviews that I discipline the kids in front of them so they know before they sign on.

[MarinaVanessa]

Personally I believe that they behave that way BECAUSE you aren't disciplining them. They have at one point tested the boundaries and nothing happened so now they know they can get away with it. I would deffinetely step in. Before this DCM arrives I'd have all of the kids sit down and do something quiet but together like read a story and remind them that NO ONE gets up, NO ONE, unless you say so. Then sit closest to the door to block any kids that get up.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Personally I believe that they behave that way BECAUSE you aren't disciplining them. They have at one point tested the boundaries and nothing happened so now they know they can get away with it. I would deffinetely step in. Before this DCM arrives I'd have all of the kids sit down and do something quiet but together like read a story and remind them that NO ONE gets up, NO ONE, unless you say so. Then sit closest to the door to block any kids that get up.

I do this during pick up time.

[LeslieG]

Time outs are pretty rare here too and not the first thing I would go to during the normal school day, BUT I really can't redirect them to another activity when it is time to go home. ::

Is it the parent who is picking up's child who is misbehaving or EVERY child?

It is every child, not just this parent's child.

[daycare]

I have no problem taking control.

I will remind the PARENT, please control your child's behavior at pick up. All parents are expected to back all rules of the DC> When they don't, they are some what telling their child that the rules don't apply when mommy or daddy are there to pick up.

I will say something to the child too. "Just because mom or dad are here, does not mean that you don't have to follow the rules any more. Please listen to your parents words or I will ask them to go outside so that you can sit in time out.' I dont mess around.

I also have contracted hours, so I know what time children will be picked up and then I have less of an issue with this. The child is all ready to go and all the parent has to do is sign out and leave. Same with pick up. Drop and go

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

It is every child, not just this parent's child.

How old are the kids?

[LoraJenkins]

I use to wait for parents to control their children at pick-up but got so tired of the children going completely nuts. So now, I have no problem at all enforcing my rules right in front of the parents. I am such a meanie::::::

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I use to wait for parents to control their children at pick-up but got so tired of the children going completely nuts. So now, I have no problem at all enforcing my rules right in front of the parents. I am such a meanie::::::

When I would wait for them to (...it never happened...) I'd have children jumping down my flight of stairs (children are NOT permitted to be on another level in my state, nor do they EVER go near the stairs), trying to climb in/on top of my expensive cubbies that are meant to hold backpacks and supplies, running into the street, etc. What a nightmare.

In the very beginning, I also wouldn't correct the other children if a parent came early until they left. Now I IMMEDIATELY correct inappropriate behavior, no matter who is here. The children have completely changed since the point that I began doing that. We also review the rules on a regular basis discussing how we behave when other people are here, what happens if we don't, and how we should act with our own parent at pick up.

[LeslieG]

How old are the kids?

The kids are 2 and 3 years old.