Licensing And A New Baby? WWYD?

[CedarCreek]

Hey ladies (and gents),

It's been a little bit since I posted on here, things have been crazy around here

Back story:

My cousin is one of those girls that lives off of welfare with her two children She has no job, no car and she is pregnant again. She has actually admitted that she cannot take care of another child and wants to give it up for adoption. She knows that dh and I want to adopt since we cant have anymore children so she asked us if we would take the baby. We are seriously considering it. (Fully legal, lawyers and everything)

Problem:

I am registered to have 6 children under 5. My own children count. If we take the baby, I would only have 4 paying spots. I was already in the middle of getting my CDA to make my operation licensed instead of just registered. When that happens, my ratio will go up and everything will be fine. But I'm not sure how long its going to take for that to happen. I will have my CDA by the end of July, the baby is due August 17th. If licensing takes longer than that, our options are to drop a child to make way for baby or to get a babysitter for the baby.

So what would you do? Any other suggestions?

Thanks guys

[melilley]

You could either drop a child if you can afford it, but if you have to get a babysitter if you don't drop a child, then that money goes to a babysitter. Does your husband have any vacation time? Maybe he could take some time off after the baby is born. If you have any time, you could take it then, even if it's just a week then your husband could take off after your week. Or other family members that can pull together to watch the baby until your ratio goes up?
I guess it would depend on how long licensing takes. Is there a way to find out how long it takes to get licensed after you get your CDA?
Just some ideas

[CedarCreek]

Very true that the money will go to a baby sitter so its basically like dropping a kid anyway but then at least when licensing comes through, I can stop paying the baby sitter and the paying spot is still there.

Hubby could possibly take some vacay time, that's a good idea. I definitely could not though. Family member wise, I cant think of anyone else except for possibly my sister. But she has kids of her own to take care of and get to school.

Timing wise, when I was registered it was a very fast process once I had all of my ducks in a row. I'm just not sure if they are any more thorough when becoming licensed. I could call and ask..

Thank you!

[cheerfuldom]

are you not taking any maternity leave at all? I would highly recommend you take some time of if at all possible to really bond with this new child. I would say that dropping a daycare child to make room for your own child is an absolute must. I would imagine that having a new mom AND another caregiver during the day would be horribly unsettling for an adopted infant. I personally would not be okay with this scenario even for a biological child..... I would just plan for everything to work out, timing wise and then make the final decision at the absolute last moment if you must drop a daycare child. Perhaps you can offer a backup provider for temporary care until the licensing situation gets worked out? and then you can take them back?

[CedarCreek]

are you not taking any maternity leave at all? I would highly recommend you take some time of if at all possible to really bond with this new child. I would say that dropping a daycare child to make room for your own child is an absolute must. I would imagine that having a new mom AND another caregiver during the day would be horribly unsettling for an adopted infant. I personally would not be okay with this scenario even for a biological child..... I would just plan for everything to work out, timing wise and then make the final decision at the absolute last moment if you must drop a daycare child. Perhaps you can offer a backup provider for temporary care until the licensing situation gets worked out? and then you can take them back?

Good idea!

Unfortunately, I cannot take any maternity leave at this time.

I think I will be able to bond with the child just fine with the other children here. I see what you're saying though

[butterfly]

:hug: First congrats, and I want to wish you the very best.

I hope I don't sound too "Debbie Downer" here - coming from a very fresh, recent failed adoption.. are you sure this will end up being an adoption? I just don't want you to get too attached and get your hopes up if there is a good chance that you will end up getting hurt here. That's a terrible situation to be in!

I'm glad you are being proactive and lining up childcare for this child. I would probably find another daycare for this child and keep all your clients on - unless you needed an excuse to get rid of one.

I'm praying for you and your little one. Hoping your adoption story has a happily ever after!!

lovethis

[mamac]

are you not taking any maternity leave at all? I would highly recommend you take some time of if at all possible to really bond with this new child. I would say that dropping a daycare child to make room for your own child is an absolute must. I would imagine that having a new mom AND another caregiver during the day would be horribly unsettling for an adopted infant. I personally would not be okay with this scenario even for a biological child..... I would just plan for everything to work out, timing wise and then make the final decision at the absolute last moment if you must drop a daycare child. Perhaps you can offer a backup provider for temporary care until the licensing situation gets worked out? and then you can take them back?

I think these are some pretty good ideas.

And congratulations!! happyfacehappyface

[CedarCreek]

:hug: First congrats, and I want to wish you the very best.

I hope I don't sound too "Debbie Downer" here - coming from a very fresh, recent failed adoption.. are you sure this will end up being an adoption? I just don't want you to get too attached and get your hopes up if there is a good chance that you will end up getting hurt here. That's a terrible situation to be in!

I'm glad you are being proactive and lining up childcare for this child. I would probably find another daycare for this child and keep all your clients on - unless you needed an excuse to get rid of one.

I'm praying for you and your little one. Hoping your adoption story has a happily ever after!!

lovethis

I'm so sorry about your recent situation! :hug:

We are definitely actively trying not to get too excited. We know that she could change her mind at any moment.

Heck, she has 6 months to change her mind after she signs the papers!

That would be terrible, I'm sure.

[slpender]

Good idea!

Unfortunately, I cannot take any maternity leave at this time.

I think I will be able to bond with the child just fine with the other children here. I see what you're saying though

We adopted a child almost 3 years ago she was new born right from the hospital. The birth mother never saw her. The bonding process still took a little time because as the social workers warned us that while in the womb she was hearing all the sounds at the bio moms house so hose were the voice she was used to. Taking 8wks off was the best thing I ever did.

[Cradle2crayons]

We adopted our son almost five years ago from the hospital as well.... It was sort of a strange situation. We lived in a small community and had our daughter who was five at the time. Out of the blue one day, a 19 year old married mom of a two year old called me up. She said she was very early pregnant and already had a two year old and they could not keep the new baby.

So, we had to rush to get everything done because we were unrelated to them and had to set up a private adoption. Family and friends told us not to get our hopes up. We went to every doc appointment upon her insistence and my daughter was even there when we found out the baby was a boy!!!

Fast forward to his birth June of 2008, via c section. She asked me to be in the OR with her, and it was so surreal!!!! When my daughter was born via c section, they had given me so much crap I didn't even remember actually having her!!! But being there and cutting his cord as a mom... It was priceless!! I bonded with him immediately. The mom did see him and hold him but the dad never saw him in person.

They live local and have seen pictures of him and I keep in touch. We share Christmas cards every year as well.

Other than breast feeding, there was no difference between my daughter and my son. The bonding was instant for me. It may not be for everyone though.

Good luck in the adoption. You'll hear a lot of horror stories, but I can tell you from the very first phone call in 2007 I felt a complete sense of peace and I knew deep in my gut it would all be okay.

[NeedaVaca]

I don't have any advice but wanted to say good to see you back! I had wondered why you weren't posting lately

[CedarCreek]

I don't have any advice but wanted to say good to see you back! I had wondered why you weren't posting lately

Thank you! I just have a lot going on with this and we are still sorting through the insurance crud from my sons accident and we were thinking of moving so that's stressful too. I'm trying to get back on here more though because I love this forum!