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Celebrate! :
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i PM'd youComment
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I have swated my son on the butt twice, However, I would never do it in front of any other children ever, I think the last thing anyone would want to here, was, miss blah blah, Was hitting little johnny today, And the one poster who posted about corporal punishment was kind of right It doesnt have to be in your policies, but the county daycare laws, say that you will never you any form or physical punishment in your daycare, which does include your own kids, at least that the law where I live, But again, I did swat my son on the butt during daycare hours, but it was in his room, away from the other children.........I just dont think you should ever do it in front of other kids, then you scare all of them. I understand both sides.Comment
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That's a very bold and broad statement, but I respect your opinion. I hope you'll respect mine when I say I believe that it is absolutely no one else's business whether or not she gives her own child a swat on the behind on her own time (she has already stated that she has never or would never do so in front of a DCK). Now, it would be a whole different story if she was beating her children with a stick or a belt or backhanding them across the face. That, IMO, qualifies as corporal punishment. Heck, a swat on the rear doesn't even qualify as a "spanking" as far as I'm concerned.Yes I am serious. Corporal punishment should never be used on or near a child.Comment
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Oh my goodness! I just read your daycare mother posted it about you and spanking. Here is http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1261113 . It sounds like she is telling you the truth that she is out of work but I believe she gave you a notice because she wanted to get the kids out of your daycare because of spanking, who knows.Comment
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Let me repeat - I HAVE NOT AND WILL NOT EVER spank a kid that is not my own and I DID NOT, HAVE NOT, AND WILL NOT spank my kids in front of a daycare kid. I took her to the bathroom and swatted her twice on the butt while she was wearing a diaper and fully clothed. We came out of the bathroom immediately and she was NOT crying at all. I did not hurt her but I did get her attention which was my intent in the first place. The dcb did not see or hear the indicent take place. He was in the play room playing at the time. My daugher is young so, like a pp said, waiting to spank her after daycare hours defeats the purpose because by then she would have forgotten what she did wrong.
I highly doubt that dcb has been traumatized by hearing me say "The next step is going to be a spanking." If he is so sheltered and has supposedly never even heard the word spank before then how on earth would he even know what I was talking about??????
It baffles me that a mother so passionately against violence and physical punishment would allow her own child to hit and kick her without any consequences. What message is THAT sending? MY CHILDREN were traumatized by witnessing THAT (and frankly so was I!!!) It's happened on more than one occasion at my house so I can only imagine what the scene is like at their home. As a result, I've had to give MY kids a talk about how it is not ok to hit Mom or Dad and how it is important that they are respectful to adults.
I hate to start playing the blame game here but I can assure all of you that this dcb has exposed the kids in my care (including my own) to way more negative and violent behavior than he has ever picked up from here. He is violent and very disrespectful to adults and NOW I understand why it has been nearly impossible for me to curtail these behaviors. I don't blame the child, I blame the parents. In all the years I have been interacting with children I have never had to deal with one like him. It is a nightmare every week when we go on our field trip. On several occasions I have had people look at me and shake their heads in disgust when they see his behavior. I think this reflects negatively on me as a provider because it appears to outsiders as if I have no control over the group of kids in my care even though only one kid is acting out. But, I continue to take the kids out because I don't think the other kids should have to suffer because I have one that misbehaves. The mom has told me herself that it has gotten to the point where she won't even take the kids anywhere without her husband there to help control the chaos.
I am not a monster and I do not "beat" my kids. I would be the first person to call authorities if I thought a child was being abused. I don't spank my children because I DON'T love them, I spank them because I DO love them. Parents who choose not to spank are one thing, but parents who choose not to use ANY form of discipline at all are doing their children (and society) a great disservice. When you raise your child this way, you should be mindful that they will probably not do well in the care of another person so be prepared to stay home with them.
I am sure I will miss them when they are gone but this may be the best for all involved. Our parenting styles are too different. She will be hard pressed to find another provider willing to deal with dcb's behavior. He definitely needs a one on one care situation rather than a group setting.
I am just glad that she trusts me enough to know that I would never hurt her children. What really scares me though, is how he could have just as easily accused me of doing something far worse.Comment
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You miss understood me. I didn't mean that another child would spank another child. I meant that say your kid is told no and starts throwing a huge fit and becomes completely uncontrollable and you can't get her to stop for anything. You take her to another room and swat her and she reacts by calming down and you now have her attention because of the swat. Now say another kid starts throwing the same kind of uncontrollable fit for the exact same reason and you are not allowed to swat this child. What do you do? and why can't that be the same thing you do with your child?Celebrate! ::Comment
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I will receive criticism for this but I will say it anyways.
I was very shocked when I read this thread. I will not hit or spank my child nor anyone else's and I believe that it is wrong, especially coming from people who's job it is to learn ways of dealing with and teaching children right from wrong. There are always alternatives no matter what! Whether it is a "swat" or "spanking"! Its all the same to me..what is the child learning?
Some people think that it is ok and that is their opinion but I just wanted to put in my 2 cents.Comment
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I think the provider should be open about how they discipline their child. It speaks to their moral code and values! You should be proud of what you do during the day to handle children's natural challenges! If you resort to spanking your children or others maybe there are some child development classes or guidance classes you can take in your area.Comment
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For crying out loud, people...this has turned into a different topic than the OP but I'll bite...
I can count on one hand the # of times I've swatted my kids' behind. She's 13 and she's doing just fine. Every parent I work with knows and loves her. Many comment on her kindness and respect. They have often come to me with problems of their own looking for an opinion, and guess what- I have said "I can count on one hand the number of times I've swatted my daughter's behind." I am not ashamed of the way I raised my daughter in the least. I know no one is perfect, and we all have our opinions. In the end, can you say your child is respectful of themselves and others? If so, you did something right.Comment
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Wow yeah, I read the thread by msmiranda on that other forum also and it does seem like it's your DCM (you wouldn't happen to have 4yo also would you?) Seems like a hard position to be in. I'm one of those that also believes that you as a parent can spank if you want to as long as it is your own children and your not "beating" your child. Be thankful that you don't live in CA where spanking even your own children is illegal
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I think you should let them go. Do you really need that kind of drama? I mean like you said, she can wail about how she doesn't want her son to exposed to the word "spank" but she'll allow her son to be physically violent against her? C'mon, really?Comment
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wow, Ill bite too,.. #1.... california can smooch on my tush !
. I DO spank my own kids. I have for 19 years and will continue to do so until they are at an age they no longer require it. (by saying that I mean,.. the 9 yr old, , not the 19 yr old. ) eww. .
Lets see,.. between the four kids,.. REAL spankings,.. probably 10 total? in 19 years. So they knew if they got one it was something they NEVER did again. And they knew NOT to do whatever they did to get the spanking. Like when the 7 yr old (now 12) just took off down the street, around the corner and down the block to see if her friend was home after I TOLD her she couldnt and then I went to the bathroom.
Or when the 19 yr old was 9 and lied about grade cards and assignments, telling the teacher I was dead and trying to forge his step moms name on his report card. (he didnt know his teacher and I were friends). He enver did that again......
Or when the 13 yr old didnt know I was standing behind her in the store and used a bad word and said something to the effect of,.. Ill just tell her to kiss by butt. (only she did NOT say buttt) Ummm,... oh no,.I dont talk that way,.. neither will they. so in front of God and everyone else I popped her butt, embarrassed her in front of her friends, and made her think twice about thinking I was out out of earshot. She didnt get a mark, she didnt get beaten, I popped her butt and yes, I would do it again.
I think a balance of what YOU personally believe is how you are the best parent you can be. Noone can make that decision for you,.... And YES I tell my clients I spank my own children, Yes I will swat their behind when the kids are here, Yes I take them to the other room, and yes the other kids know its happening. If daycare clients dont like that they can find another provider,... If one of my own children do something to warrant a spanking, then they get the shame that comes with everyone knowing they got one. However,... Mine arent the ones causing trouble at the store, throwing fits to get things, and NEVER have they raised a hand to me. If they did,.. they WOULD get a spanking. And I HOPE they raise my grandkids the SAME WAY.Comment
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