What To Do, What To Do????

[williams2008]

I have a 3 year old dcb who is always breaking my toys no matter what kind they are.

I take toys away from him, I set him out until he can respect my things, I have talked to him about destroying my things. I don't know what else to do. Any suggestions on what else I can try with him???

[Pineapple]

How long has he been doing this for?

[countrymom]

is he doing it on purpose. Also talk to the mom. Thats what happened here and the mom fixed the problem.

[Blackcat31]

I would provide him with Non-breakable toys only.

Slowly integrate more fragile/breakable toys into his play until he learns to properly play with them.

I'd start with wooden blocks, balls and other things that are one piece.

Sometimes kids have to taught how to play properly and it sounds like he may not have a clue how to treat something nicely.

Some kids ARE just really rough with things and again, I start by allowing them to play with one piece durable non-breakable toys and then slowly add things to his "allowable" toys until he "gets it".

Talk a lot about proper play and how to handle and treat other people's toys. Point out how nicely others play with things. Praise him frequently when he does play nicely.

Learning to play in a non destructive manner is now part of the daily "curriculum" we, as providers, have to teach kids within the context of group care now days as many of the children we care for are onlies or have a free-for-all type play set up at home.

[williams2008]

How long has he been doing this for?

He has been doing this for months. I have talked to mom about it several times.

[williams2008]

is he doing it on purpose. Also talk to the mom. Thats what happened here and the mom fixed the problem.

I think he is. He just sits there and breaks them apart. Every new car/truck I have gotten for them since being in our new space has been destroyed. I told mom again today at pick up and she just shook her head and said, "he knows better than that" and as she was saying that he was sitting there tearing up paper and throwing it on the floor.

[williams2008]

I would provide him with Non-breakable toys only.

Slowly integrate more fragile/breakable toys into his play until he learns to properly play with them.

I'd start with wooden blocks, balls and other things that are one piece.

Sometimes kids have to taught how to play properly and it sounds like he may not have a clue how to treat something nicely.

Some kids ARE just really rough with things and again, I start by allowing them to play with one piece durable non-breakable toys and then slowly add things to his "allowable" toys until he "gets it".

Talk a lot about proper play and how to handle and treat other people's toys. Point out how nicely others play with things. Praise him frequently when he does play nicely.

Learning to play in a non destructive manner is now part of the daily "curriculum" we, as providers, have to teach kids within the context of group care now days as many of the children we care for are onlies or have a free-for-all type play set up at home.

He is very rough, not only with the toys but with the other kids as well.

[preschoolteacher]

Maybe he needs more time to do physical things--running, jumping, climbing--and he's getting his energy out on breaking things. Some kids have sensory issues that make them crave strong sensations. I once knew a little girl who had Sensory Integration Disorder and would be aggressive unless her needs were met--so she had a weighted pillow to put over her lap during circle time and we were taught by her parents to help her do a "wheelbarrow walk" or to even swing her upside down when she got aggressive. Bear hugs helped. So did drinking yogurt out of a straw! All of these things provide strong physical sensations. It really helped her behavior. Obviously, some of these things you wouldn't want to do against the child's will. But providing opportunities to be more physical might help him stop breaking toys... in addition to teaching him about how to play with them safely.

[daycare]

Maybe he needs more time to do physical things--running, jumping, climbing--and he's getting his energy out on breaking things. Some kids have sensory issues that make them crave strong sensations. I once knew a little girl who had Sensory Integration Disorder and would be aggressive unless her needs were met--so she had a weighted pillow to put over her lap during circle time and we were taught by her parents to help her do a "wheelbarrow walk" or to even swing her upside down when she got aggressive. Bear hugs helped. So did drinking yogurt out of a straw! All of these things provide strong physical sensations. It really helped her behavior. Obviously, some of these things you wouldn't want to do against the child's will. But providing opportunities to be more physical might help him stop breaking toys... in addition to teaching him about how to play with them safely.

ditto on this.

DO you have one of those sit on bounce balls. I have one and when kids can't control themselves, they sit on it and bounce in a safe area.

[Laurel]

I have a 3 year old dcb who is always breaking my toys no matter what kind they are.

I take toys away from him, I set him out until he can respect my things, I have talked to him about destroying my things. I don't know what else to do. Any suggestions on what else I can try with him???

I think the suggestion to have him do more physical things is a good one. Maybe even something like "I am sad when a toy gets broken. That took a lot of energy to break that toy. Since you need to use up energy, I am going to give you this pounding bench toy and you can use your energy on it." After enough times of having to sit there pounding that hammer he may get tired of breaking things cause he knows he'll have to go hammer. I would always make it the same thing so it bores him. Worth a shot anyway.

Besides that, I'd have him repair anything that was able to be repaired. If he tears a book then he has to get tape (probably with help from you) and repair the book. Whatever mess he makes in the process of breaking something he needs to clean up himself. We use a little whisk broom and dust pan that I bought at the dollar store I think.

I'd also do like someone else said and only give him certain toys. Maybe right after he breaks something say "Since you were rough with that toy and broke it you may now only use the toys in this box." Then give him his own box of toys. Maybe even make him sit at a table with the box away from everyone until he has calmed down.

Oh, this just popped into my head:: Or maybe approach mom with something like "Johnny broke another toy today and I can't keep buying new toys. We need to find a solution. What I would like to try is have him bring a few toys from home...ones he really likes. If he breaks a toy here then he has to leave one of his here to replace it. How does that sound?" If she gets upset then say "Well I thought it would be better than charging you for the toys he breaks because eventually thats what I would have to do."

Laurel

[blandino]

Oh, this just popped into my head:: Or maybe approach mom with something like "Johnny broke another toy today and I can't keep buying new toys. We need to find a solution. What I would like to try is have him bring a few toys from home...ones he really likes. If he breaks a toy here then he has to leave one of his here to replace it. How does that sound?" If she gets upset then say "Well I thought it would be better than charging you for the toys he breaks because eventually thats what I would have to do."

Laurel

If the child is developmentally capable of understanding this, I would say this is a really great solution.

[allsmiles]

i have that kid as well.. its sooo frustrating to buy a new game or car and he plays so rough its falling apart in days

[williams2008]

Maybe he needs more time to do physical things--running, jumping, climbing--and he's getting his energy out on breaking things. Some kids have sensory issues that make them crave strong sensations. I once knew a little girl who had Sensory Integration Disorder and would be aggressive unless her needs were met--so she had a weighted pillow to put over her lap during circle time and we were taught by her parents to help her do a "wheelbarrow walk" or to even swing her upside down when she got aggressive. Bear hugs helped. So did drinking yogurt out of a straw! All of these things provide strong physical sensations. It really helped her behavior. Obviously, some of these things you wouldn't want to do against the child's will. But providing opportunities to be more physical might help him stop breaking toys... in addition to teaching him about how to play with them safely.

He is constantly running and jumping around inside and he is not careful of the other kids, he just run right into them and think nothing of it. We do 3 dances a day and he is the only one who doesn't participate and when we are outside where he is free to run and jump he doesn't.

[williams2008]

Oh, this just popped into my head:: Or maybe approach mom with something like "Johnny broke another toy today and I can't keep buying new toys. We need to find a solution. What I would like to try is have him bring a few toys from home...ones he really likes. If he breaks a toy here then he has to leave one of his here to replace it. How does that sound?" If she gets upset then say "Well I thought it would be better than charging you for the toys he breaks because eventually thats what I would have to do."

Laurel

I like this idea as well!!

[rmc20021]

I have an almost 17 yo grandson who does the same thing...he does NOT intentionally break things, but it seems he somehow manages to break/destroy everything he comes into contact with. I've watched him...so I know it's not intentional.

And my youngest son, who would be 38 now (passed away 3 years ago) would take everything he got into his grasp apart...INTENTIONALLY.

I know the frustrations all too well whether it's intentional or not. I think I would also only allow him to play with unbreakable toys, such as the blocks, balls etc...maybe playdough where he CAN intentionally mold it how he thinks it should be and slowly introduce him back to other toys as he learns respect for them. That could be a very long time...if at all.