How Do You Deal With Lingering Parents?

[DancingQueen]

I don't always mind lingering parents - especially if it is a parent I really like but there is this one dad that I do not love the lingering.
They started with me mid August. But I've known him a little while - but not very well.
He always picks up and I remember the first pick up day I was suprised when he walked in the backyard (where we were playing) and instead of picking up his kid and walking over to me - he sat down on one of my chairs and started chatting with me. I wasn't sitting, I rarely do when outside. He stayed for 30 minutes. Stayed for 3 other parent's pick ups.
He is a nice guy but he has NO facial expressions and if I didn't know better I'd swear that he absolutely hated me and was disgusted with my daycare.. But the words don't match his facial expressions and he chats it up. It is the most ackward and uncomfortable thing. And all the kids are slightly off - and I'm distracted while he is there.
I hate it.
He is supposed to pick up between 4:30 and 4:45. My last parent picks up at 4:30 (besides him). Sometimes he gets there at 4:20 and doesn't leave until 4:50 ACK!!!!

How do I very politely fix this issue?

today was awesome - all my parents came early and he was running on the later side of 'on time' and my son needed to be picked up from Cross Country - so I got ready and when I saw him coming down the driveway I met him at his car.

He said "kicking us out?" hahaha
I said "it's closing time - you don't have to go home but you can't stay here" hahaha
and then said "Jake needs to be picked up from Cross Country - you showed up just in time."

and it was heaven!!!

I can't pull that off every day because often he arrives before my other parents and just hangs out til the last kid leaves.

[laundryduchess@yahoo.com]

could you say that one of your neighbors said something to your husband about a guy hanging out? and tell him that while you and he know nothing would go on, your busy body neighbor is nosey?

[momma2girls]

I don't always mind lingering parents - especially if it is a parent I really like but there is this one dad that I do not love the lingering.
They started with me mid August. But I've known him a little while - but not very well.
He always picks up and I remember the first pick up day I was suprised when he walked in the backyard (where we were playing) and instead of picking up his kid and walking over to me - he sat down on one of my chairs and started chatting with me. I wasn't sitting, I rarely do when outside. He stayed for 30 minutes. Stayed for 3 other parent's pick ups.
He is a nice guy but he has NO facial expressions and if I didn't know better I'd swear that he absolutely hated me and was disgusted with my daycare.. But the words don't match his facial expressions and he chats it up. It is the most ackward and uncomfortable thing. And all the kids are slightly off - and I'm distracted while he is there.
I hate it.
He is supposed to pick up between 4:30 and 4:45. My last parent picks up at 4:30 (besides him). Sometimes he gets there at 4:20 and doesn't leave until 4:50 ACK!!!!

How do I very politely fix this issue?

today was awesome - all my parents came early and he was running on the later side of 'on time' and my son needed to be picked up from Cross Country - so I got ready and when I saw him coming down the driveway I met him at his car.

He said "kicking us out?" hahaha
I said "it's closing time - you don't have to go home but you can't stay here" hahaha
and then said "Jake needs to be picked up from Cross Country - you showed up just in time."

and it was heaven!!!

I can't pull that off every day because often he arrives before my other parents and just hangs out til the last kid leaves.

ALways have him ready to go, another while you can, meet him out front- then kindly say goodbye and have a great night!! THen walk into the house. If my parents are late, I meet outside with their child ready to go.

[DancingQueen]

the problem is that he usually arrives while we are out doors. and she is already ready to go because we're in our outdoor gear and I have her bag out there with me. all of my parents pick up during out door time whenever possible.

[Jewels]

I have one mom who lingers forever, A few times, I have just invited her to stay for dinner, since shes there, While I'm finishing. We have become friends somewhat, so I dont know what to do, Actually I just know there is nothing to do, Shes been here til almost 8pm before, I just always right on my Minute menu, that he was here til then, to count it towards my time space. Her husband is never home, So I think she just hates always being there by herself always, but man it can be annoying sometimes!

[legomom922]

I had one that used to come earlier in the am just to chat with me, but when I added the "early drop off fee" and "late pick up fee" to my policy, she stopped. Maybe a reminder in a newsletter that says how you promptly close at such n such a time, and pick up is hectic, and you have a family you need to get dinner ready for?? Or just ignore him...play with the kids, and then maybe he will get bored and want to go?

[DBug]

I'd ignore him as much as possible. Do the usual "Hi, how are you? Your kid had a great day today." Tell the child that Daddy is here, and then busy yourself with another child. I have been known to invent grasshoppers to investigate with the other kids to give parents the hint ::. When all the kids are gone, go inside and go about your usual routine. Even if he doesn't get the hint, at least you won't have to make small talk with him. And if he's sitting down in a lawn chair, what about putting it out of sight during pick-up time?

I know a couple of my parents will put off getting into the car because their kids throw a huge tantrum when they're buckled into the carseat. They end up letting their child walk up and down our sidewalk out front for 10 or 15 minutes .

[msue1301]

I have a monthly newsletter that's just one page and I put things like that in there. Parents don't always notice what is a problem to us! Putting it in a routine newsletter and maybe writing something like: Starting on (date) my new policy for pick up is... and explaining that in order to keep your focus on the remaining children in care you need pick ups to happen in a short period of time. I have something to that effect in my handbook. Most of my parents are in a hurry to get home so I haven't had much problem with that, but I try to gently let parents know I can't always be that attentive at pick up time! I do have one parent that calls me and likes to vent (she doesn't have anyone that listens to her in her family) so that gets a bit awkward at times when I have other things that I need to do! It gets tricky with some parents!

[DancingQueen]

He isn't always there late - but when he is I like the idea of just saying "gotta go cook dinner now"
I'm actually considering a news letter that talks about now that school has started - so have all of my children's activities - prompt pick up is important and so is prompt leaving so I can get the heck outta here and play taxi to my children..

But my bigger complaint is when he arrives before his final pick up time and then just sits there chatting or trying to chat with me while I do daycare. It boggles the mind. I let him know she had a good day (and other facts I think he might be waiting around for and then I turn my attention back to the kids).
I like the idea of ignoring him. One other problem with this though is that while he is hanging around - his daughter is engaging in play with the other kids (or even my own daughter - if the others have gone) and while I'm ignoring him to play with the kids - I'm playing with HIS daughter. I'm basically STILL watching her.

OH MAN- I almost forgot the best one EVER!!!!! You guys are going to love this one.

One day he arrived at 4:15. I had changed all diapers at 4pm. at 4:40 I'm talking to another parent about a behavioral issue and he is part of the discussion - only because he is sitting there while I'm trying to have it. And he notices that she pooped. and he says "uh oh - Olivia pooped - do you happen to have supplies out here?" I said "yes" and handed them to him and said "you'll have to change her though so I can finish talking to _______" he actually said - "ya know - we're actually going right home - I'll just have mom change her when I get home."
And got in the car with her in a poopy diaper.
He actually wanted me to change her! Not only was HE there (and in my opinion - when a parent arrives at - I am no longer watching your child) but it was AFTER MY HOURS!!! so rather than do it himself - he let her sit in it!!!!

[TGT09]

One day he arrived at 4:15. I had changed all diapers at 4pm. at 4:40 I'm talking to another parent about a behavioral issue and he is part of the discussion - only because he is sitting there while I'm trying to have it. And he notices that she pooped. and he says "uh oh - Olivia pooped - do you happen to have supplies out here?" I said "yes" and handed them to him and said "you'll have to change her though so I can finish talking to _______" he actually said - "ya know - we're actually going right home - I'll just have mom change her when I get home."
And got in the car with her in a poopy diaper.
He actually wanted me to change her! Not only was HE there (and in my opinion - when a parent arrives at - I am no longer watching your child) but it was AFTER MY HOURS!!! so rather than do it himself - he let her sit in it!!!!

This is how my MIL describes my FIL (as in not changing poopy diapers). I would have lost my cool right then and there.

[suzychapstick]

I have this problem also and I finally figured out a solution! I have a Dad who would linger for 30 to 40 minutes in the am. Then at pick up, he would come in and plop down because he just "loves watching his little girl interact with the other children". Needless to say, this was disrupting my morning and afternoon routines! He would also help himself to my fridge for refills on DCG's sippy cup of milk and then let her walk around my living room dripping it all over!

I just gave all of my parents a new contract on 9/1 and in one section it now covers lingering visitors. I stated that unless you have a TB test and background check on file in my home drop-offs and pick ups should be limited to 3-4 minutes for the safety of all children at the daycare. I included a spot after each topic for parents to initial and then had them sign at the end of the contract. This worked like a charm! Dad literally hands dcg to me at the door!

[kidkair]

Do you have parents sign their kids in and out? If you don't you should start and charge him any late fees you have. If you do than you should make it a big deal to have him sign and leave. If he signs and then lingers tell him he needs to change the out time because he's still there and again charge for late pick up. I watch my sister's kid so she'll linger sometimes but when I mention that she's going to have to change the out time soon if she doesn't leave she gets the hint and takes off because she's had her fair share of late fees.

[DBug]

One other problem with this though is that while he is hanging around - his daughter is engaging in play with the other kids (or even my own daughter - if the others have gone) and while I'm ignoring him to play with the kids - I'm playing with HIS daughter. I'm basically STILL watching her.

I've had that too (only on two occasions, but still), when all of the other kids are gone and my daughter is still playing with the lingering parent's child. When my daughter was young enough, I'd just tell her it was time to go in. The second time she was old enough to play in the fenced backyard by herself. I asked her if she wanted to come inside with me, or if she wanted to play outside. She said she wanted to stay outside. The parent left pretty quickly after I went in ::.

[missnikki]

This one is easy I would say, "Since you're still here and I've got to get moving on the rest of my day, can you watch these guys while I make dinner? If you keep lingering, I'll have to hire ya! Hahaha..ha..." then walk away.

[TGT09]

This one is easy I would say, "Since you're still here and I've got to get moving on the rest of my day, can you watch these guys while I make dinner? If you keep lingering, I'll have to hire ya! Hahaha..ha..." then walk away.

THERE YA GO! I bet he'll be sure to move quicker the next time!