Poor Kid Just Wants Her Dad!

[bunnyslippers]

My neighbor's bring their little girl to me, every day, from 7:45-3:00.

Her dad has been away on business since Sunday. He got home last night while she was sleeping (around 8:00 p.m.).

He dropped her off this morning, bright and early at 7:45. He had on sweatpants and a t-shirt, sneakers, baseball hat. Clearly wasn't going to work. He is now outside working in the yard.

This poor little pumpkin is sitting here crying, because she can see him out there. She hasn't seen him in 5 days, and just wants to be with him.

Would it have killed him to spend an extra few minutes with her this morning?!??! Or maybe pick her up for a lunch date? So sad!

[cheerfuldom]

My neighbor's bring their little girl to me, every day, from 7:45-3:00.

Her dad has been away on business since Sunday. He got home last night while she was sleeping (around 8:00 p.m.).

He dropped her off this morning, bright and early at 7:45. He had on sweatpants and a t-shirt, sneakers, baseball hat. Clearly wasn't going to work. He is now outside working in the yard.

This poor little pumpkin is sitting here crying, because she can see him out there. She hasn't seen him in 5 days, and just wants to be with him.

Would it have killed him to spend an extra few minutes with her this morning?!??! Or maybe pick her up for a lunch date? So sad!

I don't take care of neighbors kids but if I did, I would call dad. Let him know that there is no way I can keep little girl from seeing him, she is upset and either he come get her or he go work inside for now. its not fair for me or her to go thru the morning with her crying for him. pick her up or do something out of site, his choice.

[mnemom]

I would just call him and tell him his DD can see that he is home and is very upset. That he doesn't have to come get her, but that if he has time maybe he could pick her up early or go for a lunch date. Maybe he doesn't even realize that she would be upset, some people are pretty clueless.

[bunnyslippers]

Unfortunately, he knows she can see him. This is not a new behavior from this dad. He just sees it as his time alone. It is awful!

[mnemom]

Well on that note he is a jerk!

[KnoxMom]

Poor thing. Have you talked to him about it? I would simply explain that it was causing a disruption. I suppose the only other option is to close the blinds!

[Blackcat31]

Ok, this is going to sound mean but I DON'T mean it this way...but we can judge parent's choices all we want but it is still their choice to parent in anyway they choose to.

If they are purchasing child care services from you, then it is your job to provide them. Regardless of what the parent is doing with their time.

As a parent, if my child was crying for me (whether I was across the state or right outside the window) I would expect you as the provider to do whatever you needed to do to distract my child and engage them in some activity that would take their mind off wanting me and crying.

I would certainly not let her near the window if I knew she could see her dad and would cry for him.

Hope that makes sense. Again, I don't mean it rudely....just honestly.

[bunnyslippers]

Ok, this is going to sound mean but I DON'T mean it this way...but we can judge parent's choices all we want but it is still their choice to parent in anyway they choose to.

If they are purchasing child care services from you, then it is your job to provide them. Regardless of what the parent is doing with their time.

As a parent, if my child was crying for me (whether I was across the state or right outside the window) I would expect you as the provider to do whatever you needed to do to distract my child and engage them in some activity that would take their mind off wanting me and crying.

I would certainly not let her near the window if I knew she could see her dad and would cry for him.

Hope that makes sense. Again, I don't mean it rudely....just honestly.

I agree ~ I don't think you sound mean. I was trying to distract her, and I was engaging with her. I also know that they pay me for a service, which I provide willingly. I don't, however, approve of the way this man is treating his child right now, and have a hard time just ignoring the frustration I am feeling.

Let me clarify what was happening. She can't see him out the window. We were outside playing, as we do every day. She could see him because he was in the yard next door. He has a big yard ~ he could be in a different part when we are outside. And we were outside first, he came out after we did. He also could hear her crying and visually see her crying ~ he just ignored it and did his own thing.

I have talked to them about it before. He just feels like she needs to deal with it when he is home and doing his own thing. I think it is mean!

[countrymom]

I agree ~ I don't think you sound mean. I was trying to distract her, and I was engaging with her. I also know that they pay me for a service, which I provide willingly. I don't, however, approve of the way this man is treating his child right now, and have a hard time just ignoring the frustration I am feeling.

Let me clarify what was happening. She can't see him out the window. We were outside playing, as we do every day. She could see him because he was in the yard next door. He has a big yard ~ he could be in a different part when we are outside. And we were outside first, he came out after we did. He also could hear her crying and visually see her crying ~ he just ignored it and did his own thing.

I have talked to them about it before. He just feels like she needs to deal with it when he is home and doing his own thing. I think it is mean!

because he's doing it on purpose then he's a big fat jerk. How are you as a provider suppose to hide her from her dad, are you suppose to stay inside when he goes outside, this is one of those things where I would park her at the fence and let her yell for her dad maybe then he'll go inside.

[sharlan]

That is EXACTLY why I don't provide services for neighbors.

[Blackcat31]

I agree ~ I don't think you sound mean. I was trying to distract her, and I was engaging with her. I also know that they pay me for a service, which I provide willingly. I don't, however, approve of the way this man is treating his child right now, and have a hard time just ignoring the frustration I am feeling.

Let me clarify what was happening. She can't see him out the window. We were outside playing, as we do every day. She could see him because he was in the yard next door. He has a big yard ~ he could be in a different part when we are outside. And we were outside first, he came out after we did. He also could hear her crying and visually see her crying ~ he just ignored it and did his own thing.

I have talked to them about it before. He just feels like she needs to deal with it when he is home and doing his own thing. I think it is mean!

It IS mean of him. Some parents can absolutely be jerks and it does make me wonder sometimes why some people even bother having kids if they really don't want to interact with them at all.

It breaks my heart for kids like her.

Even though it isn't right and it probably wouldn't change a thing, I would be seriously tempted to do what countrymom suggested and go outside with all the kids and allow her to stand by the fence crying for him.

I replied above in my previous post thinking you were venting about having to listen to her cry and I was thinking you should just engage or distract her....so again, sorry if that sounded harsh or rude.

[Lyss]

Unfortunately, he knows she can see him. This is not a new behavior from this dad. He just sees it as his time alone. It is awful!

If DH tried to pull this he'd be finding his own place. How terrible for her

Maybe you could talk to DCD about being out of sight when you guys are outside? But since he hears her crying when she is outside too and still ignores her I'm assuming talking with him will probably not do anything.

How cruel

[MyAngels]

That is EXACTLY why I don't provide services for neighbors.

Me either. I had this exact situation once and vowed I'd never do it again.

[hope]

I think every day we as providers see examples of bad parenting. It frustrates us because we have grown to love the little ones we watch and it upsets us to see them hurt. Instead of letting it get to me I take the time to give a few extra hugs, teach a few life lessons, and be a good listener that day. We are never going to be able to change these selfish parents, but we can be there for these kids so they feel special for a few hours a day. There are just some parents that will leave their children in childcare for as long as possible, drop off when child is sick instead of comforting them, not give the love or attention their child deserves. We should feel honored to fill in where and when we can.
Let the dcd do yardwork, he doesn't know what he is missing out on. ve DCG a big hug, place her in your lap and have some positive circle time.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I think every day we as providers see examples of bad parenting. It frustrates us because we have grown to love the little ones we watch and it upsets us to see them hurt. Instead of letting it get to me I take the time to give a few extra hugs, teach a few life lessons, and be a good listener that day. We are never going to be able to change these selfish parents, but we can be there for these kids so they feel special for a few hours a day. There are just some parents that will leave their children in childcare for as long as possible, drop off when child is sick instead of comforting them, not give the love or attention their child deserves. We should feel honored to fill in where and when we can.
Let the dcd do yardwork, he doesn't know what he is missing out on. ve DCG a big hug, place her in your lap and have some positive circle time.

Unfortunate but true.

Then the parents wonder why their child prefers us over them. It's really quite sad.