Stupid Pacifier

[KBCsMommy]

I have a rule in my dc no pacifiers after 12 m. I think they are disgusting and kids need to learn how to deal w life and sleeping w out them.

I have NEVER had any issue with ANY child after about a week with no pacifier even with sleeping. Except for this particular dcg. She is 19 mo and the most dificult child I have had in dc.

I originally took her paci at 12 mo. and cue the ALL DAY LONG BLOOD CURDLING SCREAMIMG. This went on for 2 weeks (she is full time). So I decided this was not going to work. I gave her the paci at nap time and it helped a little, but she was still whining constantly and crying at the drop of a hat.

Little by little I was able to wean her off her off the paci during the day and 8 weeks ago I took it away permantly. First couple of weeks she screamed for the first hour but eventually went to sleep. Then she would just talk in bed and not sleep.

The last 3 weeks she has been crying on and off for an hour and a half then sleeping for about 45 minutes. This is not working bc the other kids go right to sleep and when they wake up she is just going to sleep.

Today I lost the fight and gave in and gave her a paci. I lost.

But it hasn't been this quiet in my house during nap time in a VERY long time.

[MyAngels]

Call me a softie, but I would have given the kid the paci for nap. I wouldn't surrender nap time tranquility for much of anything though .

[Heidi]

My guess is they've been giving it to her all along at home. All my own kiddos and many others I've cared for have had paci's (and a few dck's came with bottles at 3), but I've never had one go so long with the drama. A day or two, maybe, but months?

My 18 mo old here just got his paci back after several biting incidents here and at home. It's our redirect. He has it on a strap when he's awake (he doesn't **** it), and if he feels the need to bite, he's already putting it in his mouth for a "little chew". He does not get it to sleep, though. Hate to even write it because I'm probably jinxing it, but we haven't had a biting incident since.

[littlemissmuffet]

Ugh. I also hate pacis and take them away (from awake time AND naps) around 12 months. Uusally it only takes a few days until the child gets that they are only allowed to have it at home.

In this case, I see two options...

If this is the only issue with the child/family, I would give her the paci during naps only.

If this is a problem child/family, I would let the parents know that you don't allow pacis after 12 months and that their child has been causing major disruption and chaos during naptime (and the day) due to wanting the paci. Let them know that if it continues, one of them will need to pick up the child during naptime because it's not fair to the other children or you. They will quickly learn that weening her off her paci at home will be to everyone's benefit

[Starburst]

Call me a softie, but I would have given the kid the paci for nap. I wouldn't surrender nap time tranquility for much of anything though .

There was one DCB at the FCC I worked at who was 2 and we let him sleep with his binky at nap time, he never asked for it during other times of the day. The provider never made a big deal about it and eventually he stopped using it when he turned 3, on his own. The more you try to take it away, the more they want it. Some kids just need something to sooth them to sleep (it's the same as a blanky or stuffed animal). The ****ing motion of the binky is soothing to little kids she may be using the binky as a security blanket to hid behind or to self-regulate herself when she gets anxious. Also some people have oral fixations which mean they constantly have the need to have something in their mouth (binkies, thumb ****ing, nail biting, food, gum) or some type of pressure on their gums/teeth. If they do have an oral fixation and they don't have something in their mouth when they sleep they might grind their teeth when they sleep, so this could prevent tooth damage (and yes kids can grind their teeth during sleep- I did). Some experts believe that binkies at nap/bed time can prevent SIDS.

I say if the parents aren't enforcing it at home, I wouldn't push it too much because eventually she will grow out of it on her own. After all it must not be a big enough issue for her parents if they are still bringing the paci to daycare everyday (they [and you] got to pick the battles they [and you] are willing to fight). But if she's over 3 or 4 and still using it-then I would be more concerned.

[KBCsMommy]

The family is great. I have an open dialogue with both parents. Dcg is exactly the same at home too. Parents claim they only have one paci left and its in the crib. Dcg is just drama!

I will probably just keep giving her the paci since it seems to be the only thing to help her relax.

I just talked to the hubs and he told me " I don't know why you are making a big deal out of this it's their orthodontic bill, not ours!!"::

[Heidi]

The family is great. I have an open dialogue with both parents. Dcg is exactly the same at home too. Parents claim they only have one paci left and its in the crib. Dcg is just drama!

I will probably just keep giving her the paci since it seems to be the only thing to help her relax.

I just talked to the hubs and he told me " I don't know why you are making a big deal out of this it's their orthodontic bill, not ours!!"::

Sometimes we get so fixated on our version of "right" we can't see that's it's causing us more trouble than it's worth. :hug:

On the bright side, maybe better sleep will reduce the whining a little.

[KBCsMommy]

Heidi I think you might be on to something!

Thank you

[Heidi]

Heidi I think you might be on to something!

Thank you

Yeah, well I've been there. I'm not known for my stubborn streak, but occasionally it does come out.

[Laurel]

There was one DCB at the FCC I worked at who was 2 and we let him sleep with his binky at nap time, he never asked for it during other times of the day. The provider never made a big deal about it and eventually he stopped using it when he turned 3, on his own. The more you try to take it away, the more they want it. Some kids just need something to sooth them to sleep (it's the same as a blanky or stuffed animal). The ****ing motion of the binky is soothing to little kids she may be using the binky as a security blanket to hid behind or to self-regulate herself when she gets anxious. Also some people have oral fixations which mean they constantly have the need to have something in their mouth (binkies, thumb ****ing, nail biting, food, gum) or some type of pressure on their gums/teeth. If they do have an oral fixation and they don't have something in their mouth when they sleep they might grind their teeth when they sleep, so this could prevent tooth damage (and yes kids can grind their teeth during sleep- I did). Some experts believe that binkies at nap/bed time can prevent SIDS.

I say if the parents aren't enforcing it at home, I wouldn't push it too much because eventually she will grow out of it on her own. After all it must not be a big enough issue for her parents if they are still bringing the paci to daycare everyday (they [and you] got to pick the battles they [and you] are willing to fight). But if she's over 3 or 4 and still using it-then I would be more concerned.

My thoughts exactly.

Laurel