Child's Fantasies

[sharlan]

This is a new one for me.

My 3 1/2 yo has started coming up with some strange stories that I know are not true. I've talked to both of her parents (divorced), but not really sure how to handle it.

A couple of months ago, she told me that "Dad pinches me and yells no at me." "Grandma pinches me and yells no at me." "Mom pinches me and yells at me." This child does not have a bruise or mark anywhere on her body.

A few weeks ago she started in that her hair was full of spiders and snakes bit her. Ok, not happening.

Two weeks ago, she told me that her dad choked her and it hurt really bad. Again, she has no marks.

Yesterday she told me that Mom got mad at her and kicked her in the face. She also said that Mom got mad because she was in the street and Mom ran her over with the car and broke her leg.

Neither parent or her grandma show any signs that this child is being abused. The child never has a single bruise or mark on her. She doesn't shy away from anyone at pick up or drop offs.

How would you handle this?

[Willow]

I'd bring it up, in writing (email), so there is record that you addressed it.

I would probably mention something about the child perhaps watching too much tv, and if that's not the case ask if they have any clue where she'd come up with such violent notions.

To protect yourself I'd mention that you have to check her over whenever she makes such accusations and then remind them that you are a mandated reporter. If she says she was hurt and there is proof you have to report it so addressing the issue now is paramount.

[sharlan]

There is absolutely no sign that this child is abused by anyone. She never has a bruise or a mark anywhere. I've talked to both parents and both say that the other parent would never hurt her, is too lenient, etc. Both parents only use time-outs for discipline, neither one spanks according to both parents.

[preschoolteacher]

After ruling out abuse, I would definitely think that this child watches too much TV and is seeing something inappropriate. Lots of times kids act out these confusing scenes from TV in their play or stories in a way to try to process and make sense of them. Ask the parents about her TV viewing habits, if she's around when they watch adult shows. Sounds like something is bothering that little one.