Facebook Photos Annoyance

[youretooloud]

WOw.. those are terrible things to say. I would never (seriously) use the word brat.

I belong to a few on facebook also. One is way over the top sappy and overachieving. They say things like "I used the last few dollars I had to my name to buy the little darlings some new cups for the water table, even though it means I couldn't afford to buy the medicine I needed for myself" Or "He's been so sick...poor muffin...I feel so bad for him, that I held him for the last three hours while he puked down my bra". (I don't post there ever...my dedication is much lower)

The other page is more like "He puked ONCE, and I put him in his carseat and left him on the doorstep" Or "I need new cups for the kid's watertables, but then I saw this bottle of wine, and got that instead".

[MsLaura529]

Man, that is so sad and unprofessional - I'm glad you reported them.

[MyAngels]

For some reason this has really been bugging me. I know they booted you, Lyss, but I assume the group is still there, right?

I am not a huge Facebook user and only have family on my page so I wouldn't do any good for me to do this by myself, but what if everybody here who thinks this should stop put something on their page like this:

Did you know that there are "secret" groups consisting of mostly daycare providers on Facebook? These groups are posting pictures of the children in their care in distress and making all kinds of comments, including calling them "brats" and the like. How would you feel if this was your child, grandchild, niece or nephew? Hit "share" if you think this type of thing should not be allowed.

What do you think? Could it work? Are there any downsides?

[Play Care]

For some reason this has really been bugging me. I know they booted you, Lyss, but I assume the group is still there, right?

I am not a huge Facebook user and only have family on my page so I wouldn't do any good for me to do this by myself, but what if everybody here who thinks this should stop put something on their page like this:

Did you know that there are "secret" groups consisting of mostly daycare providers on Facebook? These groups are posting pictures of the children in their care in distress and making all kinds of comments, including calling them "brats" and the like. How would you feel if this was your child, grandchild, niece or nephew? Hit "share" if you think this type of thing should not be allowed.

What do you think? Could it work? Are there any downsides?

Please don't do this. Parents are already suspicious of child care providers, especially in home providers. This would just make it harder for those of us doing what we are supposed to do find good clients. Don't get me wrong, I think that type of behavior is unprofessional, unethical, etc. But the OP reported the group so hopefully they will shape up. I also think providers who behave that way eventually get what's coming to them - unprofessional behavior is rarely confined to "private" groups - it spills over to public places. Let them hang individually.

[MyAngels]

Please don't do this. Parents are already suspicious of child care providers, especially in home providers. This would just make it harder for those of us doing what we are supposed to do find good clients. Don't get me wrong, I think that type of behavior is unprofessional, unethical, etc. But the OP reported the group so hopefully they will shape up. I also think providers who behave that way eventually get what's coming to them - unprofessional behavior is rarely confined to "private" groups - it spills over to public places. Let them hang individually.

I understand what you're saying, but I can't help but wonder how the families of these kids would feel.

I don't feel like sweeping something like this under the rug or hoping somehow that it will get resolved by someone else is the right thing to do.

[Patches]

If you'd be willing to pm me a link to the group I'll totally join and make your voice a chorus

I'm sure others here would be more than happy to do the same.

As long as we don't identify that we're all coming from here maybe they'll get the message that it's incredibly unethical and lots of providers from all over think it's in incredibly poor taste.

I'm in!

Edit: Just saw they kicked you out. That's just horrible that somebody wold do that and now I bet the pictures are going to go right back up. Sad...

[Blackcat31]

Please don't do this. Parents are already suspicious of child care providers, especially in home providers. This would just make it harder for those of us doing what we are supposed to do find good clients. Don't get me wrong, I think that type of behavior is unprofessional, unethical, etc. But the OP reported the group so hopefully they will shape up. I also think providers who behave that way eventually get what's coming to them - unprofessional behavior is rarely confined to "private" groups - it spills over to public places. Let them hang individually.

I agree.

I think planting a seed of suspicion for parents about daycare providers and Facebook will make EVERYONE providing child care with a FB page look bad.

I think PlayCare is right about providers who do this kind of thing, they don't just reserve the bad/unprofessional behavior for secret FB pages.

I believe in Karma and most people get what's coming to them one way or another.


@MyAngels~ I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from but I think that there has to be a more PRO-active way to deal with this sort of thing.

Maybe ALL child care providers should post some sort of open post about how much they respect/appreciate/value/love/care for (whatever word works) about their childcare children/families etc. (??)

I don't know what the right answer is but I do think sometimes fighting fire with fire isn't the best approach IMHO.

[MyAngels]

@MyAngels~ I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from but I think that there has to be a more PRO-active way to deal with this sort of thing.

I wonder how many of these "secret" groups there are (not just daycare related - total number)?

I wonder if just contacting Facebook would help at all?

I see what you two are saying about giving the profession a bad name, but I honestly don't think just ignoring something like this and hoping that some day, somehow they get theirs is appropriate, either.

It's hard enough for adults to control their digital footprint in this day and age, but these are children who have no control over the actions of their providers who are supposed to be protecting them and instead are exploiting them for what? I few laughs, a comment from a stranger? And we all know that Facebook owns that content, not the person who posted it, so now it lives on in perpetuity.

I don't know. I can't remember who here said it, but I'm beginning to agree that yes, Facebook is evil .

[KnoxMom]

For some reason this has really been bugging me. I know they booted you, Lyss, but I assume the group is still there, right?

I am not a huge Facebook user and only have family on my page so I wouldn't do any good for me to do this by myself, but what if everybody here who thinks this should stop put something on their page like this:

Did you know that there are "secret" groups consisting of mostly daycare providers on Facebook? These groups are posting pictures of the children in their care in distress and making all kinds of comments, including calling them "brats" and the like. How would you feel if this was your child, grandchild, niece or nephew? Hit "share" if you think this type of thing should not be allowed.

What do you think? Could it work? Are there any downsides?

Although I agree with your statement, I think it could negatively affect those of us who use Facebook to share sensory activities, field trips, etc. Parents may just choose not to sign the waiver at all and it would limit us. Unfortunately, a poor few can ruin a good thing for everyone else.

[Blackcat31]

I wonder how many of these "secret" groups there are (not just daycare related - total number)?

I wonder if just contacting Facebook would help at all?

I see what you two are saying about giving the profession a bad name, but I honestly don't think just ignoring something like this and hoping that some day, somehow they get theirs is appropriate, either.

It's hard enough for adults to control their digital footprint in this day and age, but these are children who have no control over the actions of their providers who are supposed to be protecting them and instead are exploiting them for what? I few laughs, a comment from a stranger? And we all know that Facebook owns that content, not the person who posted it, so now it lives on in perpetuity.

I don't know. I can't remember who here said it, but I'm beginning to agree that yes, Facebook is evil .

I know, it's hard to not want to do something about it and I do agree that something should be done however, the exploitation of kids by their own parents is a rampant and super sad thing now days with FB, I-phones, web-sites etc etc.

Seems people measure themselves as a parent now days by how many times they post a picture of their own child doing something extremely common or mundane but post a comment like their child is the first and only to ever have done such a thing....

I agree 200% Facebook IS evil when people do that sort of thing.

It seems society no longer cares when anyone, children, pets, family, friends, complete strangers are humiliated, shamed or made fun of as long as it garners a couple 's for the poster.

There are pet-shaming sites, people of Walmart sites, Jacka$$ type sites and the list goes on and on.....Just browse Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Youtube and you can't help but see these types of things everywhere now.

I don't have the answer as to what should or could be done, I just know that making a statement to parents about "secret pages" about their kids will get everyone all worked up and untrusting of any daycare provider and if a tidal wave of backlash is gonna come down on a few unprofessional jerks who shouldn't be in the business in the first place, I think that it will hurt a lot of good providers who have done nothing wrong but now have a ton of untrusting parents upset with them.

[Play Care]

I understand what you're saying, but I can't help but wonder how the families of these kids would feel.

I don't feel like sweeping something like this under the rug or hoping somehow that it will get resolved by someone else is the right thing to do.

I imagine they would feel pretty terrible
But I think by posting something like you suggested it would open up a huge can of worms that would have nothing to do with the specific issue. Suddenly everyone and their brother would be posting about how horrible day care/providers are. On some of the parenting forums I frequent many of the parents state empathically that they would NEVER send their kids to in homes because of reasons like this.
I like Black Cat's suggestion about posting positive things about the children/day care. Focus on the good and highlight it.

[mema]

Wow! Not much more I can say. I hope they keep the pics down, but I'm sure since they have now booted you, they probably put them back up

[julie]

For some reason this has really been bugging me. I know they booted you, Lyss, but I assume the group is still there, right?

I am not a huge Facebook user and only have family on my page so I wouldn't do any good for me to do this by myself, but what if everybody here who thinks this should stop put something on their page like this:

Did you know that there are "secret" groups consisting of mostly daycare providers on Facebook? These groups are posting pictures of the children in their care in distress and making all kinds of comments, including calling them "brats" and the like. How would you feel if this was your child, grandchild, niece or nephew? Hit "share" if you think this type of thing should not be allowed.

What do you think? Could it work? Are there any downsides?

Look, I don't condone the group's behavior. I think the OP made the right call reporting the group and photos.

That said, here are the BIG downsides of doing an action like the one described above. First of all, there are a lot of secret groups on many public forums, INCLUDING this one. We have both an off-topic for members only AND a secret group that you have to have a certain number of posts be a member for six months to join. Both are not accessible to every Jane and Johnny randomly searching through the internet.

Some daycare providers haven't found this place yet and do use facebook to network with their colleagues. I am part of my local areas' secret daycare page. The only photos we share are crafts/activities we are planning and our spaces. However, we do also chat frankly about issues of non-payment, lateness, disrespect, etc, and oftentimes our usernames on Facebook are our REAL NAMES. If those groups were public and current clients could link us by our names while we are asking real questions like we do here behind anonymous usernames, then it is a whole different ballgame and really bad news for a provider who might just need a little support. If you cut off ALL secret groups, many would not have a support system. I am lucky to have a few forums to get ideas from, but not all of the ladies are doing the same, I know that for a fact. Please do not let a few bad apples spoil the bunch.

[Sprouts]

Misery loves company, and that secret group sounds like a bunch of rotten apples....its too bad people like that just conglomerate together and feed off of each others negative energy

But just happy we can feed off each others positiveness

[Lyss]

Although I agree with your statement, I think it could negatively affect those of us who use Facebook to share sensory activities, field trips, etc. Parents may just choose not to sign the waiver at all and it would limit us. Unfortunately, a poor few can ruin a good thing for everyone else.

Even though I totally understand where myangels is coming from I agree with this ^ post, could totally see a parent remembering a post like that and refusing to sign a photo waiver. I use my photos for a scrapbook that I let potential DCPs browse through during interviews and its left out for DCPs to view so they can see what we've been up too. I've noticed that they seem to think whatever they see us doing at the end of the day, playing one easy to clean activity waiting by the door ::, is what we've been doing all day but the photos show what we were actually up to! :: I hate to have to stop doing that because no one wants to sign a photo waiver.

I did report the group and the pictures but beyond that there is nothing more I can do. I'm sure they are back up and going on their merry way, I wouldn't at all be surprised if there is a post on there right now about how rude I was Oh well, hopefully Karma will get them.