Religion Question

[Unregistered]

Hi! I have done daycare since 2008. My daughter is 8 and my son 7. My kids are starting to get asked to church quite often by friends, neighbors, and even some of my daycare families. Truth is, I am an atheist and have brought up my (very kind, moral and sensitive) children without religion. How can I tell them we are not interested, without letting them know we are atheist. I feel like I would lose a lot of families if they knew. Thank you for your advice/feedback!

[Mom&Provider]

I don't think you need to tell them anything! A simple, no thank you is enough. They will stop asking once you decline, even if you have to do so a few times...the point will be made!

[momofboys]

Just say no in a kind way. But do your kids want to go? I know you aren't interested but what about them? Nothing wrong IMO to letting them go with a friend if they want to.

[Evansmom]

Just a no thank you, we aren't interested should be enough.

If you are open to your kids trying it and they want to you could let them. I'm not Christian but my kids have been invited to the Young Life gatherings often over the years. They went and I let them decide for themselves if they wanted to continue to go. My DD did for a bit but decided it wasn't her thing, DS1 isn't interested. (Whew, bc even though I let them go I really didn't want them to convert. But for me it was important to let them decide since I get to decide my own religion)

[dave4him]

What harm is there in letting your children go and see for themselves what they want to believe?

[Cradle2crayons]

I was raised baptist and baptists down here generally don't sway towards Methodists etc.... Maybe not the SAME example. And although I'm happy growing up baptist, I don't really fit that criteria anymore. I was never allowed a choice but I'm raising my kids the opposite on that. I've allowed my kids to go to different churches. I think it's great to allow them e ability to choose. It's not for everyone but if you are dead set against letting your kids do it, then just nicely tell them no thanks

[Laurel]

Hi! I have done daycare since 2008. My daughter is 8 and my son 7. My kids are starting to get asked to church quite often by friends, neighbors, and even some of my daycare families. Truth is, I am an atheist and have brought up my (very kind, moral and sensitive) children without religion. How can I tell them we are not interested, without letting them know we are atheist. I feel like I would lose a lot of families if they knew. Thank you for your advice/feedback!

Hmmm, I'm an atheist too.

I also feel that letting my daycare parents know I'm an atheist is 'bad for business'. Only because some people have misconceptions about atheism. Some (and only some) associate it with all kinds of things that it isn't. But then you know that. Once I let it slip with one of my daycare parents and she was fine with it though.

I have 3 adult children. Once when my daughter was about 8 I took her to a church service because I was the guest of the principal of her elementary school. Long story but he was always trying to convert me. I used to sub for his secretary. As I recall, I just told her that some people have different beliefs and we were just going to go with Mr. M to his church and see what it was like. She wasn't really interested so that was the end of that.

Then when she was a teen her friend asked her to her church. She was a teen so I asked her if she wanted to go and she did. It turns out she was with her friend out of town for a week in the summer. Later in life, she told me that the friend's dad was kind of strict and wouldn't let them do much but he would let them go to church. So they kind of church hopped and checked them all out. He gave them bus passes. She has always been interested in other beliefs though so it didn't bother me. I was a teen when I started doubting Christianity.

Being you are clearly not interested you might just say no thank you. If they persist, just say you have your own beliefs and no thank you. If they ask you what your beliefs are I'd say "No offense, but I just would rather not talk about beliefs if you don't mind."

Out of my three adult children one says he believes there is a God but doesn't go to church or do anything about it, one is an atheist, and my daughter is a Pagan/Wiccan which is some kind of nature religion as I understand it.

I have always told them that no matter what they believe about it all is up to them.

I personally got an invitation from a daycare parent and it was some kind of ticket to actually get into an event. I just took it and said "Oh okay, thank you" and then didn't go. She wasn't asking me to go with them but just a ticket to get in if I wanted to go. No more was said about it.

Laurel

[Oneluckymom]

I think that politely declining should be sufficient.

Personally, I would NOT let my children go to a religious institution without me...I believe that 7 & 8 are to young to make an educated decision on what they should believe.

I would accompany them and then elaborate on what was talked about with open ended questions. JMO

[Willow]

I think that politely declining should be sufficient.

Personally, I would NOT let my children go to a religious institution without me...I believe that 7 & 8 are to young to make an educated decision on what they should believe.

I would accompany them and then elaborate on what was talked about with open ended questions. JMO

If you don't feel comfortable doing that OP I'd stick with just politely declining. One would hope they'd eventually stop asking so you didn't have to delve further into the why's.

[Laurel]

I think that politely declining should be sufficient.

Personally, I would NOT let my children go to a religious institution without me...I believe that 7 & 8 are to young to make an educated decision on what they should believe.

I would accompany them and then elaborate on what was talked about with open ended questions. JMO

Laurel

[blandino]

What harm is there in letting your children go and see for themselves what they want to believe?

At such a young age, I think they could quickly be swept up in the group mentality of the church atmosphere - regardless of what they "beleive", and would probably want to be included with their friends, and would go along with it just to not be an outsider.

[SilverSabre25]

I do wonder why so many people are inviting your kids to church...but that's just me. I have never been religious so it just sounds strange. Or maybe people around here don't do that kind of thing.

[dave4him]

Im only saying, giving them an understanding of what is out there is not a bad thing.

[Willow]

Im only saying, giving them an understanding of what is out there is not a bad thing.

Who's to say OP isn't?

We don't go to church but I'd venture to say my children have a better grasp of a multitude of religions than other children who regularly attend church do.

People would assume otherwise but that doesn't mean their assumptions are correct

[Willow]

I do wonder why so many people are inviting your kids to church...but that's just me. I have never been religious so it just sounds strange. Or maybe people around here don't do that kind of thing.

It's (usually) done in the spirit of fellowship. To be welcoming and in some religions it's done in the hopes that they can save another soul from eternal damnation by bringing them into the fold eventually.

I saw it quite a bit when I was in middle, junior and early years of high school. Was frequently asked to prompt my friends to come to CCD "friends" nights that promised pizza, treats with the hopes that kids would like it and then beg their parents to start coming to church. I never asked because it didn't sit right with me and I can't say I ever really saw anyone outside of our regular classmates come.

I brought a cousin once but only because she was already the same religion as I was. They just happened to be in town and I didn't want to miss spending time with her because my parents insisted I go regardless....