I have two brothers in my care, the oldest one just turned 4 and is *very* strong willed. The younger is almost 3 but usually behaves like a child almost a year younger (he does have some speech delays but I wonder how much he actually understands) In any event when the older boy doesn't get his way, has to be spoken to, or another child "looks" at him funny
and I don't discipline that other child, he's beside himself with big crocodile tears and then it starts "I'm telling mommy!" "I'm telling Daddy!" "I don't like it here!" "I want to stay home!" To some degree I do think this is normal 4 yo "I didn't get my way" behavior, but it's exhausting and quite frankly, RUDE. Now his brother is starting to follow suit.
I've had some advice to treat it in a silly way - pretend to cry and behave as my feelings were hurt (when he says he doesn't want to come here) but that just doesn't feel right knowing this kid.
When he pulls the "I'm telling mommy" business I will say "let's call her, and you can tell her how you won't share/hit your brother" etc. At which point he switches to telling Daddy
and after I say the same thing he does stop - for that moment. I tried a reward chart with the older boy, and while it helped for a bit, after a while it created more issues. The younger brother does NOT understand the concept at all and would freak over the stickers.
The family is great, and really both boys can be wonderful - but they just really sap my energy with their drama (both very active and need constant direction, whiny, etc.) I've got one year left after this with the older one and two years with the younger. Mom also mentioned trying for a third and sending them here if I have a space
So I would like some other ideas or maybe a better coping mechanism for me!

I've had some advice to treat it in a silly way - pretend to cry and behave as my feelings were hurt (when he says he doesn't want to come here) but that just doesn't feel right knowing this kid.
When he pulls the "I'm telling mommy" business I will say "let's call her, and you can tell her how you won't share/hit your brother" etc. At which point he switches to telling Daddy

The family is great, and really both boys can be wonderful - but they just really sap my energy with their drama (both very active and need constant direction, whiny, etc.) I've got one year left after this with the older one and two years with the younger. Mom also mentioned trying for a third and sending them here if I have a space



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