Hopefully Not Too TMI For This Forum...

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  • just_peachy
    New Daycare.com Member
    • Feb 2013
    • 186

    Hopefully Not Too TMI For This Forum...

    Does feeling "touched-out" ever affect your "relationship" with your significant other? Honestly I'm feeling lately like that's the hardest part of the job... HATE that feeling.
  • Michelle
    Daycare.com Member
    • Jan 2011
    • 1932

    #2
    Originally posted by just_peachy
    Does feeling "touched-out" ever affect your "relationship" with your significant other? Honestly I'm feeling lately like that's the hardest part of the job... HATE that feeling.
    it does't affect myself and my dh but when I feel I need a break from constant babies touching me, sitting on me etc. I just take a 5 minute break in another room where i can still see them.
    I know exactly what you mean..

    Comment

    • crazydaycarelady
      Not really crazy
      • Jul 2012
      • 1457

      #3
      Yes, this happens to me also, even in other ways.

      The other night after work he turned on music and I just needed quiet.

      By the end of the day and by the end of the week it is even worse, but I am just plain worn out of touching, talking, coddling, listening, and I find I don't want to do it for hubby either.

      Comment

      • Evansmom
        Advanced Daycare.com Member
        • Mar 2011
        • 722

        #4
        Yes, I do. And my DH complains about it but honestly some days I just have no interest, I've been carrying kids, cuddling my son, having little ones on my lap, being talked to and talking constantly and I have no interest in anything by the end of the day but being left alone.

        I know I have sensory issues though, so I always chalked up mine to sensory overload which is basically what it feels like.

        Comment

        • Blackcat31
          • Oct 2010
          • 36124

          #5
          Originally posted by just_peachy
          Does feeling "touched-out" ever affect your "relationship" with your significant other? Honestly I'm feeling lately like that's the hardest part of the job... HATE that feeling.
          Yes!

          This very subject is often a source of contention or a sore spot between DH and I.

          By the time I get home from work, I really want to have a bubble of personal space around me that is MUCH MUCH larger than DH is okay with.

          We don't necessary argue about it but I know it is something that bothers him a lot.

          I am not by nature a very touchy-feely person and DH is so by the time my work day is over my allotted amount of "feely-ness" is pretty much exhausted.

          My DH is self-employed and works at home. Alone. He has no one other than our dog to speak to during the day. He comes into daycare every afternoon to help out at lunch time and to get some socialization.

          I am self-employed in a world where EVERYONE constantly has their hands on me and their conversations directed toward me.

          DH and I struggle to balance those differences.

          Comment

          • EntropyControlSpecialist
            Embracing the chaos.
            • Mar 2012
            • 7466

            #6
            Originally posted by Evansmom
            Yes, I do. And my DH complains about it but honestly some days I just have no interest, I've been carrying kids, cuddling my son, having little ones on my lap, being talked to and talking constantly and I have no interest in anything by the end of the day but being left alone.

            I know I have sensory issues though, so I always chalked up mine to sensory overload which is basically what it feels like.
            This is how I was/am. I get extremely overstimulated. I try to avoid seeing anyone/going anywhere as much as possible after I close each night and I ALSO pick 1 day each weekend to go no where and just try to relax to unwind.

            Comment

            • MarinaVanessa
              Family Childcare Home
              • Jan 2010
              • 7211

              #7
              Here too. A few days a week DH watched the kids and I lock myself in the bathroom to take a bubbly bath and stay in there for at least an hour. I take a glass of wine with me and a good book and just relax and decompress. This usually helps.

              Now that I'm preggers and can't drink wine I pour cranberry juice into my wine glass so that at least I can pretend that it's wine .

              Being left alone with nobody around and no noise or interruptions helps me soothe. Without it I absolutely do not want to be messed with.

              Comment

              • Evansmom
                Advanced Daycare.com Member
                • Mar 2011
                • 722

                #8
                I don't know about everyone else but I seem to also link this to me being introverted. I'm really awkwardly introverted too and having to be so expressive all day to clients and kids just drains me. I literally have days where all I want to do is dig a nice cool dark quiet hole and sit in it . But probably MarinaVanessa's suggestion of the warm bubble bath is more socially acceptable. ::

                Comment

                • crazydaycarelady
                  Not really crazy
                  • Jul 2012
                  • 1457

                  #9
                  I am also mentally drained by the end of the day. I know that seems weird since I am not doing calculus or anything, but it is just the constant talking and answering questions that exhaust me. All I really want to do at he end of the day is be alone and read a book.

                  Comment

                  • just_peachy
                    New Daycare.com Member
                    • Feb 2013
                    • 186

                    #10
                    I like the hole idea! crazydaycarelady, yes I can relate to that! I have lots of trigger phrases too. Like if DH innocently asks me what's for dinner or if I've seen where something is, I seriously have to fight the urge to kick him where it hurts! I also hate "you should..." "it's easy, just..." etc etc. Gah!

                    We are going to the beach at the end of the month. Apparently not a moment too soon.

                    Comment

                    • just_peachy
                      New Daycare.com Member
                      • Feb 2013
                      • 186

                      #11
                      Originally posted by crazydaycarelady
                      I am also mentally drained by the end of the day. I know that seems weird since I am not doing calculus or anything, but it is just the constant talking and answering questions that exhaust me. All I really want to do at he end of the day is be alone and read a book.

                      I once read that mental work is physically more draining than manual labor. I could see that! My DH is a machinist who is now home from work doing yard work, so I dare not tell him that. Although I want to!

                      Comment

                      • Play Care
                        Daycare.com Member
                        • Dec 2012
                        • 6642

                        #12
                        Originally posted by crazydaycarelady
                        I am also mentally drained by the end of the day. I know that seems weird since I am not doing calculus or anything, but it is just the constant talking and answering questions that exhaust me. All I really want to do at he end of the day is be alone and read a book.

                        I feel bad, but sometimes I head up to bed as soon as our kids are in bed just so I won't have to talk to DH. And I actually DO love/like the man!!::::

                        Comment

                        • Hunni Bee
                          False Sense Of Authority
                          • Feb 2011
                          • 2397

                          #13
                          I sit in my car for at least 20 minutes at the end of each day just to de-stimulate. My hubby usually wants to play/hug and most days (especially since I've been pregnant) I can't handle it right away.

                          I have to remind myself too that he spends his nights completely alone in a bakery and his days alone at home. Well at least he'll have a lots of babbly, drooly company soon.

                          Comment

                          • LoraJenkins
                            Daycare.com Member
                            • Oct 2010
                            • 395

                            #14
                            I can SO relate to this topic! I not only have the DCKs constantly on me but as soon as the last one is down for nap, the cats climb on me too!!!! Some days I feel like everyone's jungle-gym and would rather not "cuddle" with Hubby. What helps me is to take a mini-vacation once a month. We get on the Harley as soon as possible on a Friday evening and just go....not coming back until Sunday night. Usually we head to the coast. It gets me out of my house and allows me & the hubby to reconnect. It saved our marriage...

                            Comment

                            • MyNana23
                              New Daycare.com Member
                              • Mar 2013
                              • 16

                              #15
                              I have the same "problem"...I'm totally touched out by the end of the day/week...I like to be alone, no touching, no talking...LOL! I have a glass of wine alone and chill out for an hour or so. THEN, I can chat if necessary...dh and I go out on Saturdays alone and have lunch, shop and just chill ..

                              Since menopause I'm not that interested in a lot of "touching" from ANYONE, but when we have time to just relax together, we have a nice time and neither of us is concerned with what happens in any other way...LOL!

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