Giving Up On Doing HDC

[notquite]

I am almost at my wits end.
I've been doing HDC for 2 years, in the last 2 years I've moved, and gotten married.
I am planning on getting pregnant soon, and staying home with my kids is the reason i do HDC, so it seems silly to be thinking about quitting now, especially because i don't have any idea of what to do for money if i stop this.
But in the last year, I've come to see the massive list of cons for this line of income.
The biggest con is my husband... he doesn't like having a HDC in his house, he resents losing 1/3 of our living space to someone else's kids, he refuses, or fights hard against, anything that makes our house safer for kids (i have to take the kids to a park, not in the back yard because he wants it set up his way)
I work too many hours. 715-545 mon-fri. Everyone says just change your hours, but people aren't looking for part time, or 35 hours a week around here.
My 10+ hours a day don't even include shopping or cleaning, let alone setting up preschool activities (which i just don't do anymore, its too much work for such little interest by the kids.)
I have almost no adult contact all day, since husband works nights. I try to see my friends and family in the evenings, but that means the house stays dirty and the shopping doesn't get done.
I don't even know what I'm asking for here, i know i need to stop doing daycare, and i have no idea what to do now, when to stop, when to tell the parents i am stopping, i know I need to give them at least 4 weeks notice... more like 6-8 weeks, and by then i should be pregnant... so my new job will have to be in childcare, or i send my kid to be raised by someone else.
I hate all of this, i wish it would have worked, i wish i was more assertive, and my husband was more understanding and supportive.
I'm so done with not being independently wealthy.

[Evansmom]

I think 2 weeks is fine for notice, 4 is better. 6-8 is kind of excessive and you'd have a lot of families leaving before then anyway.

Could you work in a center while you are trying to get pregnant/are pregnant then open your HDC again after you recover from labor? And after a long talk with your hubs about needing his support after you have a baby all the things you will be doing to make your house safe will be for him/her too!

I opened my HDC after my third child was born and he's been raised around the daycare kids. He loves it! On the weekends he's sad they won't be coming to play :: I'm not ::

[Blackcat31]

:hug: I wish I had the answers for you but unfortunately NOTHING in life is simple or easy.

I understand where your DH is coming from but it still doesn't make it right that he is so unsupportive of something you want to do. That is sad in and of itself. If it makes you happy, he should be happy FOR you.

Perhaps he will change the way he views child care when you have your own children.

In the mean time, I would consider trying to maybe show him the positives of this profession. I know, I know.....there does seem to be more cons than pros but there is still a positive side to this.

Maybe it is time to sit down and have a serious discussion with your husband about what your goals are financially and otherwise as a couple, as individuals and as a family.

If he is really adamant about not having a child care in your home, there are other options. You could buy/rent a separate space, work at a center or find other work all together.

Like I said, I wish I had the right answer for you but only YOU and your DH know what is right for you both.

Don't get too discouraged....like marriage, child care has it's fair share of highs and lows.

In the mean time, glad you found the forum. Stick around. Vent and share. That's what we are here for

[bunnyslippers]

You are in a tough spot. I think BC is correct ~ you need to have a frank and open discussion with your husband about what your long-term goals are. While he may not like it now, will he feel differently when your own children are with you instead of a child care that you have to pay for?

Before you decide to close, look at different ways you could make it more tolerable for both of you.

When you don't have your own children in your childcare, it isn't as motivating to do it. Once you have your own baby...you are going to see so many more advantages to having a childcare. I don't love having my own childcare, but I have LOVED the past five years of being able to raise my own babies and not paying someone else to do it for me.

I would give no more than 4 weeks notice, because you will lose people earlier than you want to if they get too much notice.

Could you try cleaning during naptimes? Maybe look at shaving a bit off of either your day - maybe try opening later or closing earlier than you do now? Even a half an hour can make a world of difference!

I think that home childcare has a definite learning curve. It takes a while to figure out what works, what doesn't, how to manage your time, and how to balance it all. It can be a frustrating, lonely job. It can also be a wonderful, fun job.

Try to look at everything rationally and logically. It can be hard to take emotions out of the picture, but it may help to see all of the issues that need to be fixed.

Good luck! Use this forum, even as a social outlet during your day. It has gotten me through some tough days. The providers on here are amazing, and have a wealth of knowledge and experience to share!

[Starburst]

Have you ever considered only doing home preschool? You could have 4 classes (1 morning class on MWF{2 hours}, 1 morning class T/TH {3 hours}, 1 afternoon class MWF {2 hours}, and 1 afternoon class T/TH {3 hours}) Or you could have 1 or 2 classes everyday all week for only 2-5 hours. You could have about 5-6 kids in each class (depending on your state regulations) and charge a lower rate than the local preschool centers and only work about 5-6 hour a day. Some of the regulations you would probably have to still have (some may be a little lax since no babies but mostly the same) but its less hours (less burn out) and you can have one room that is dedicated to only preschool. You could also take summer off or offer a pre-K summer camp to make some extra money during the summer. Try looking into some different ways at startapreschool.com (you don't have to buy anything [I didn't]- just sign up and you get access to some of the info).

Or you could look into nannying and hope that either they are willing to leave their child at your house (you can be legally unlicensed {depending on state regs} but parents still may want you to baby-proof) or let you bring your child when you watch their kid. Even centers have ratios and their employees are sometimes expected to pay (discounted but still pay) and they also tend to have different age groups for every room so you probably won't be working in the same room as your child all the time (unless the teacher's grow with the children instead of the child moving to a new room).