Opinions

[Hunni Bee]

My nephews preschool said that he will only eat peanut butter and jelly for lunch. Apparently they give that when the child won't eat whatever is on the menu. He has figured out that he can get pb and j every day if he refuses the regular lunch. He's lost considerable weight and developed severe constipation since he started.there.

He is not a good eater, but when he lived with my mom, she eliminated all junk from his diet and served healthy things she knew he'd eat. Not that I expect the school to cater to his pickiness or beg him to eat, to me tossing him a pb and j every day "just so he eats" is not the answer.

At both centers I've worked, we give each child the whole lunch and they eat what they wanted. Sometimes the picky ones ate all of it, sometimes not. But they did not get a chance to depend on an alternate meal.

My FDH said what I described above is akin to starving the kids, I feel like its keeping them from developing unhealthy eating habits.

What do you ladies think?

[blandino]

My nephews preschool said that he will only eat peanut butter and jelly for lunch. Apparently they give that when the child won't eat whatever is on the menu. He has figured out that he can get pb and j every day if he refuses the regular lunch. He's lost considerable weight and developed severe constipation since he started.there.

He is not a good eater, but when he lived with my mom, she eliminated all junk from his diet and served healthy things she knew he'd eat. Not that I expect the school to cater to his pickiness or beg him to eat, to me tossing him a pb and j every day "just so he eats" is not the answer.

At both centers I've worked, we give each child the whole lunch and they eat what they wanted. Sometimes the picky ones ate all of it, sometimes not. But they did not get a chance to depend on an alternate meal.

My FDH said what I described above is akin to starving the kids, I feel like its keeping them from developing unhealthy eating habits.

What do you ladies think?

I wholeheartedly a agree with what you mention above. It is keeping them from developing unhealthy eating habits, or at least temporarily stopping it.

To offer a child a tasty, yet not very nutritious meal when they will not eat their lunch is, to me, a reward.

If the meal they are offered is balanced, it should contain something that is palatable to everyone. My DC lunch today was roasted chicken, peas, carrots, and tri-colored rotini. I serve all components and what a child eats is up to them. I am not offering unreasonable foods, that children dislike. If you choose not to eat, then the (natural) consequence is that you go hungry. Plus, most schools & DC will be serving milk, and at minimum my pickiest eaters fill up on their milk (which is a pet peeve of mine, but I can't really do anything about that).

[Meeko]

I completely agree with you. They are enforcing bad eating habits!

I serve the meal. The child may eat all or none...their choice. But there is no other choices and no other food until the next scheduled meal or snack.

[MyAngels]

I would not provide an alternate meal, but if the center is okay with that practice maybe they would allow his parents to provide a healthier alternative for him.

[canadiancare]

I don't think it is like starving a child. I think someone is misguided and feels they'd rather a child eats something than nothing.

The best way to learn healthy habits is to not provide alternatives. "this is what we are eating for lunch today. If you don't feel like eating this you will get snack after nap".

Snack is also snack- not an opportunity to gorge because you went without lunch.

[countrymom]

I have to agree too.

[Blackcat31]

I think it's fine to give kids choices.

But the choices still need to be healthy and FULLY balanced alternatives.

A PB&J is only part of what a child needs to eat for lunch in order to qualify as a balanced meal.

I would be speaking to the director of this preschool and working to find an alternative that meets the nutritional needs of your nephew.

If they don't find a way to meet his dietary needs, I'd be removing him from that school. They are impacting his growth and development in a silent but deadly way.

[canadiancare]

I think it's fine to give kids choices.

But the choices still need to be healthy and FULLY balanced alternatives.

A PB&J is only part of what a child needs to eat for lunch in order to qualify as a balanced meal.

I would be speaking to the director of this preschool and working to find an alternative that meets the nutritional needs of your nephew.

If they don't find a way to meet his dietary needs, I'd be removing him from that school. They are impacting his growth and development in a silent but deadly way.

To be clear when you say provide choices do you mean you would prepare another meal for a child or that there would be options on their plate to eat?
I don't force them to eat all their food but there are several healthy options on that one plate at meal time for them to choose from. I don't pull out another meal for one child who is refusing my offering.

[Country Kids]

I don't think he's losing weight because of only eating pbj at lunchtime. We see kids everyday that don't eat lunch because they don't like it but don't lose weight as they make up for it at other times of the day. Also, the constipation I don't think would be mainly from that either-kids/adults eat pbj on a daily basis and are regular people (I know some personally). Once again, I would have to go back to what else is he eating.

Outside of preschool-whats he eating for his other meals-breafast, snacks, dinner? If anything the lunch may play a part in his health issues but not be the total problem. How does he do on the weekends?

Are they told by their food program (we all know how that can go) that a child has to eat something? So maybe thats their alternative to that rule. I know here the schools offer only a cheese sandwich, an apple, maybe carrots if a child doesn't have any lunch money. Many times the sandwich is eaten, everything else thrown away.

[rmc20021]

I do not, and would not ever offer anything different. I have an 8 yo dcg right now that no matter what I serve, her words are, "Actually, I really don't like this". She tried it yesterday and I told her she would get awfully hungry if she didn't eat what I served because THAT was what was for snack. She ALWAYS ends up eating what I serve. If I offered her 'something' else there would be two consequences. #1 the child would always depend on that and never eat anything different #2 all the other children would eventually figure it out and try to do the same thing...NOT HAPPENING.

My ex husband ruined my daughter's eating habits. They would actually ask for a particular food, he would give it to them and then they would refuse it and want something else and he'd give it to them. I used to get so angry about that because they tried doing it with me and that type of game doesn't work with me. If you ask for something you eat it...or nothing. If I make something, you eat it or nothing. PERIOD. I know everyone doesn't have the same tastes, so I understand when a child truly does not like a food but you're setting them up for failure by allowing them to only eat one item if they never 'like' anything.

So often one (or all) of my dck's will look at what I serve and say "ewwwww" without ever tasting it. I insist they try it and they are surprised they actually like it.

My grandkids would live on pb and j if I let them...they are 10 and 16. If I let them go into the kitchen to get what they want to eat...that's always what they choose, whether for breakfast, lunch dinner or whatever. It's all their parents ever gave them and it's what they want now. Pb and j is great sometimes, but NOT for every single day.,

[Blackcat31]

To be clear when you say provide choices do you mean you would prepare another meal for a child or that there would be options on their plate to eat?
I don't force them to eat all their food but there are several healthy options on that one plate at meal time for them to choose from. I don't pull out another meal for one child who is refusing my offering.

No, I personally don't make separate or alternative meals for anyone.

I responded to the OP's question about the preschool and what THEY are doing.

I know some centers, preschools and Head Start programs (at least when I worked there) really focus on alternatives and choices for kids when it comes to meals and eating.

HS offered the children the choice between chicken or fish, corn or carrots, bread or a roll, a banana or an orange and of course milk.

THAT is the kind of choices and options I was referring to.

Either choice a child makes still meets the minimum requirements for a fully balance meal.

[cheerfuldom]

I agree with the poster that said to consider what the child is eating at homes for breakfast and dinner. yes lunch is very important. but we all know parents that are quick to blame the preschool or daycare when the parents do play a big role in healthy eating habits, if not a bigger role than the school in this case because he is eating more meals at home than school.

[jenn]

I think it is OK for them to offer another choice. However, the choices should be different every day and should meet nutrition guidelines.

PB&J could be part of a nutritious meal, but if served on its own, would not meet my guidelines. Even if you came up with the most balanced, organic, healthy lunch in the world, I don't think it would be OK to serve it every day.

I don't make 2 meals everyday, but sometimes give simple choices within the meal. I have really good eaters, but it takes some time to get them that way. Some of the pickiest kids will eat something they normally wouldn't if they think they chose it. Today we are having rotini and they will choose white or red sauce. Yesterday for snack I had pears, apples, and bananas. They chose which one or combination of the choices they wanted.

[canadiancare]

No, I personally don't make separate or alternative meals for anyone.

I responded to the OP's question about the preschool and what THEY are doing.

I know some centers, preschools and Head Start programs (at least when I worked there) really focus on alternatives and choices for kids when it comes to meals and eating.

HS offered the children the choice between chicken or fish, corn or carrots, bread or a roll, a banana or an orange and of course milk.

THAT is the kind of choices and options I was referring to.

Either choice a child makes still meets the minimum requirements for a fully balance meal.

Ah that makes sense. I wasn't thinking outside of a home daycare situation and I thought you played restaurant everyday so I wasn't envying you at all.

This thread made me print out a daily worksheet for the Canada's food guide. I am going to fill it out with what they eat at my place and send it home as an "exercise" for the parents. I think some may be surprised that by the end of a day at my place all their needs have been met for the day.

[ksmith]

I have to agree with the PP that asked what else is he eating. Eating a pb/j sandwich every day for lunch wouldn't be detrimental if he was eating balanced meals for breakfast and dinner. I also do blame the preschool for giving into feeding him what he wants. He will not starve from skipping lunch. If he truly is hungry then he will eat what is given to him. I only made separate meals for children in special circumstances (i.e. allergies, vegetarians, or if I didn't feel comfortable giving them a certain dish, but I would find a similar alternative).