Was I Wrong?

[daycarediva]

I have a ft dcg, she is usually an awesome kid, but she hates, and I do mean HATES going outside. When her Mom enrolled her in fall/when she turned 2 she was fully aware of how often we are outside and that was one of the main reasons she wanted dcg in my program.

We were only able to get outside 30ish minutes a day all winter due to the cold, since dcg is an early pickup, she never gets PM outside time, but Mom's schedule changed and now she does.

But....now it's spring!

It is creating HUGE issues. She is ok for the first 10 minutes. Yesterday it was 65 & sunny. All of my other dck's have coats stripped off and are running for joy. Dcg asked to go inside every 2 minutes, literally. She followed me around begging to go inside. She complained about dirt, grass, bugs, leaves, sticks, ohhh goodness. Same with PM outside time. When that didn't work, she refused to eat snack (fresh fruit salad) outside. She said 'I'm not eating until I go inside, bugs will get in my food." I said fine, left her snack on the table outside and then tossed it when we were done.

Dcp's were all picking up from outside, which is our usual summer routine, note was on the door. They can walk around the gate, open it from outside (I leave the inside unlocked for about an hour at pickup times) and then leave from outside.

Dcg's Mom came, walked through my house with her shoes on to get to the back (big no no here). I told her that next time, please walk around the gate to get dcg when we are outside. There is a concrete pathway, which leads onto a concrete patio where I have a gazebo/kids picnic tables set up. I place all of their things on the concrete for pickups. Dcg proceeded to tell her Mom that I made her stay outside (dcm rolled her eyes) until dcg said "and we had to EAT our snack OUTSIDE!" and dcm was like "wha?"
I think I know where dcg gets her loathing of the outdoors from now! Dcm was upset that dcg was 'forced to eat' outside (oh poor baby, on regular plates, with regular silverware, on a clean, sanitized picnic table.

I told dcm that it happens ALL THE TIME in summer, is perfectly acceptable by the state and the kids enjoy it. We even PICNIC. I also told her that dcg refused to eat snack, and then dcg threw a massive fit about being hungry and wanted a banana. Dcm had the AUDACITY to ask me if she can grab a banana for her off the counter when they left. I said NO! She was offered snack, she refused it. If I let dcg have a banana, I had 7 other kids there that would have wanted one and it wasn't fair.

I just got a lovely email about dcg being 'unable' to eat outside and since it is supposed to be nice all week dcm wanted to know my plans for dcg!

I am sooooo irked by this!

Was I wrong to refuse the banana? WWYD?

*I have about 3-4 bunches of organic bananas on the counter in my kitchen at all times. Bananas are snack about once a week and I pack them in lunches for DS, DS, DD and DH so they are all pretty much accounted for. If I handed out 7 extra, I would have to go back to the store and buy more or find something else for the lunch/snack bags for my own family.*

[MissAnn]

You are not wrong! Nip it in the bud! If mom doesn't want her to ear outside, mom needs to pick up before snack. I had a kid whim hated outside and would not come off the deck, but she got better. Hopefully yours will do the same.

[Laurel]

You might tell mom what you told us. You just don't have enough bananas for everyone and once one child asks everyone else wants one also.

I think I would tell her that you are planning to have the same routine all summer and if she would like she could bring a snack for dcg to eat on the way home in the car. If she gives her child the snack she brings in front of the other children natural consequences will take over. SHE will have to explain to the other children where theirs are so she probably won't do that twice.

Laurel

P.S. In the scenario that happened I would have given her the banana but told her this time only but tell her to take it out of the house before she eats it so the other children won't ask for one. Then I would do what I said above.

[daycarediva]

You are not wrong! Nip it in the bud! If mom doesn't want her to ear outside, mom needs to pick up before snack. I had a kid whim hated outside and would not come off the deck, but she got better. Hopefully yours will do the same.

I doubt it, she's a stubborn one! She didn't even participate when we spray painted snow, blew colored (frozen) bubbles, made giant snow letters, built a snowman, she JUST complained. GRR!

[daycarediva]

You might tell mom what you told us. You just don't have enough bananas for everyone and once one child asks everyone else wants one also.

I think I would tell her that you are planning to have the same routine all summer and if she would like she could bring a snack for dcg to eat on the way home in the car. If she gives her child the snack she brings in front of the other children natural consequences will take over. SHE will have to explain to the other children where theirs are so she probably won't do that twice.

Laurel

P.S. In the scenario that happened I would have given her the banana but told her this time only but tell her to take it out of the house before she eats it so the other children won't ask for one. Then I would do what I said above.

I will tell Mom that about the bananas today. Great idea about her bringing a snack for dcg for the car.

All of the kids were standing around because dcg was LOUD and kids loveeee some drama, so if I said yes to the banana, everyone would have heard/wanted one.

I also didn't want to reinforce that if dcg does something/asks in front of her Mom, I will give in. kwim? She KNOWS if she doesn't eat, I don't offer second chances.

We eat lunches outside in summer AND pm snack, we also go to the playground to picnic (on blankets!) on our field days. I see a hungry dcg and a mad dcm in our future.

[bunnyslippers]

You were not wrong, at all. Your program, your house, your rules.

[NeedaVaca]

You were not wrong, at all. Your program, your house, your rules.

I would not have given the banana either, she had her chance to eat and it would not be sending the right message to give it to her. I can see kids not liking to go outside in the winter, but in warm weather?? My kids BEG to be outside all day. Picnics are FUN, I wouldn't change anything and hopefully the DCG will eventually come around.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

You are not wrong! Nip it in the bud! If mom doesn't want her to ear outside, mom needs to pick up before snack. I had a kid whim hated outside and would not come off the deck, but she got better. Hopefully yours will do the same.

YEP or bring a snack in the car, like someone else suggested! The poor little darling will not starve with snack being delayed a little bit.

As for her whining, POOR YOU. That is awful! When children who have never been outside join my program, they tend to do the same thing but since I ignore them completely and will not answer that nor will I stand around listening to it (I walk away) they tend to get over it relatively quickly. My ears would bleed if it continued on like your DCG has.

[cheerfuldom]

oh my goodness. who do these people think they are? royalty? sheeesh. I say dump both of these princesses in a third world country and then bring them back a week later. You bet they would eat whatever was served then....even if it had (gasp) a bug on it.

[AfterSchoolMom]

We eat lunches outside in summer AND pm snack, we also go to the playground to picnic (on blankets!) on our field days. I see a hungry dcg and a mad dcm in our future.

I think you should discuss this with her now to avoid issues later. Just lay it all out for her - that you go outside for very large portions of every day, you eat outside every day, that you picnic, etc...and that you do not plan on bending your rules for DCG. I think you'll save yourself a lot of hassle in the end.

[hope]

You are not a fast food joint. I don't understand why parents ask for food and drinks to go. She was there to pick up her daughter. She should do just that and then either have snacks in the car, go somewhere to pick up a snack or have DCG wait till she is home to eat. Why should you supply food after care is done for the day?????

[daycarediva]

The Mom is aware, it's in my parent handbook that during nice weather, we rarely come indoors (for potty breaks and for me to prep food, essentially). We eat meals outside, we have a circle time area outside, we do art outside, it's a perk to my program that kids get so much outdoor play. Now that it's actually happening, dcm seems to be backtracking with how much she thinks dcg needs the outdoor time.

I spoke to her this morning at drop off and told her, this is how it is, if you don't like that, please remember to give me two weeks written notice. I reallllyyy don't want to lose dcg, but I refuse to hear it from her AND her mother all summer long either! Dcm was essentially saying that I should allow dcg to eat indoors as I prep snack, and then the rest of the kids can eat outside 'if they prefer that'....heavy on the 'sarcasm'. I reiterated that this is how I do things, the kids and other parents love it, it is NOT changing. I also handed her a new copy of my parent handbook, with these sections highlighted.

[daycarediva]

oh my goodness. who do these people think they are? royalty? sheeesh. I say dump both of these princesses in a third world country and then bring them back a week later. You bet they would eat whatever was served then....even if it had (gasp) a bug on it.

:: I agree! Dcm is a self professed 'diva' and said on interview that she is an 'indoor girl' and dcg had never played outside until she came here. EVER. She lives in a condo, dcg didn't know what a playground was, or how to use a swing (which she is petrified of). First kid I ever knew that didn't own play clothes, Mom refuses to even let her paint or play with playdoh at their house. THAT kind of diva.

[SilverSabre25]

Heck NO I wouldn't have given her the banana! I think you did the right thing. No one ever died from eating outside. And no one ever died from getting a bug on their food either.

We would spend a LOT more time outside in nice weather if I had a better access to the back yard. Someday...when we have the money to knock a wall out of the kitchen and put in a door and build a deck...

[Meeko]

The Mom is aware, it's in my parent handbook that during nice weather, we rarely come indoors (for potty breaks and for me to prep food, essentially). We eat meals outside, we have a circle time area outside, we do art outside, it's a perk to my program that kids get so much outdoor play. Now that it's actually happening, dcm seems to be backtracking with how much she thinks dcg needs the outdoor time.

I spoke to her this morning at drop off and told her, this is how it is, if you don't like that, please remember to give me two weeks written notice. I reallllyyy don't want to lose dcg, but I refuse to hear it from her AND her mother all summer long either! Dcm was essentially saying that I should allow dcg to eat indoors as I prep snack, and then the rest of the kids can eat outside 'if they prefer that'....heavy on the 'sarcasm'. I reiterated that this is how I do things, the kids and other parents love it, it is NOT changing. I also handed her a new copy of my parent handbook, with these sections highlighted.

Good for you! Hopefully she'll stop with wanting the princess treatment!