Thought on "Redshirting"

[canadiancare]

My oldest is Dec 20 (our cutoff is 4 by Dec 31) so he started school in September at 3 years 8 months. He had a hard time and kept saying to the teacher "why do I have to do this? I have paint at home, I have playdough at home etc.) He knew I was home with the daycare and little brother. We ended up picking him up at lunch so he only did half days. He still needed his nap and we had that luxury since I was home.

He is finishing his undergraduate degree right now at 21 and will be starting a Masters in September turning 22 in December.

My second son was a February baby who missed the cut-off by just over a month. He did a year of JK in a JK/SK class and went straight to first grade with the SK kids since he was more than ready.

He is in second year of university now at 19.

Our daughter was an August baby so she has always been the "right" age by the first day of school.

Other than our first son feeling a bit ripped off from mummy time we didn't have an issue with the kids being young at school.

[sharlan]

We're overseas and the department of defense (American public school) is seriously overcrowded. There are no transferring school districts- you go to the school you are residentially zoned for. The age cut-off is beginning of September and there are no waivers to start kindergarten even if the birthday is one day later.

While I think it stinks, I can see why the schools here do that. The problem is that there are very limited preschool options here unless your child is developmentally delayed or you want to shell out $600 a month for 8 hours a week.

I think if a child isn't socially ready for kindergarten, I see no reason why they need to be rushed into kindergarten. Thankfully my boys qualify for the developmental preschool (speech delays) and they go to the NAEYC accredited childcare center I work at so they're getting the fundamentals ready. If they weren't getting these, I could totally see them maybe not being ready socially for kindergarten right when they turn 5.

My niece was raised in Reilingen and went to the local German schools from K-10. She moved back here at 16 and entered college.

[sharlan]

I feel that it really depends on the child.

One of my former DCGs missed the Dec 1 cut-off by a week. She was more than ready, already reading and writing. The principal wouldn't budge even the K teachers said she was ready. Halfway through K, they called the mom in and said they wanted to move her to 1st as she was too far ahead of the rest of the class. (Mom is a 1st grade teacher and knew she was advanced, and still is in highschool.)

Boy down the street was held back, May bd. He started K this year. Two weeks in, the principal wanted him moved to 1st. Mom disagreed but did it. He has been struggling with behavioral issues all year. He was not really ready for 1st. He may end up repeating 1st.

[KDC]

My son's b-day is Aug. 15th, and the cut off is Sept. 1st. I tossed and turned thinking about my decision. He went to preschool for 2 years, so he would have yet another year of preschool if we held him back and just didn't how that would help. Kindergarten is only 1/2 days for us. We did everything we could to get him both socially & academically ready. The preschool teachers said 'he's ready!', but I was on the fence deciding if he was ready socially. We put him in Kindergarten and he thrived - he's in 2nd grade now, his grades are excellent, and he's finding his way socially - teachers are happy with his participation. Sometimes I wish I held him back just so he could have more confidence in himself (most kids are taller, faster, stronger) and I think he may be more intimidated? I worry about bullying from other kids (been fine so far). However, this also makes him work a little harder to catch up.

[NeedaVaca]

I am holding my DS back a year for MANY reasons and for him it is definitely the right thing to do. My DD is another story, we wanted to hold her back because her bday is the exact cutoff date. She is the youngest in her class and it shows...We were not able to hold her back because we lived in a different state with different rules, now that we have moved it is an option for DS. I do think DD will even out with her peers over the next couple of years but it's been a struggle and I wish we could have held her back.

[3amazingkiddos]

My dd has a late August birthday and I've never regretted starting her on time. She was ready academically. She is the youngest in her class, but you'd never know it. She will be 9 this summer and 5ft tall, I couldn't imagine how she would have towered over the other kids had we decided to wait, of course if she had needed the extra time we would have done so.

I do believe the only reason a child should be "held back" is for academic reasons, maturity and social skills will be learned over time.

[Play Care]

My dd has a late August birthday and I've never regretted starting her on time. She was ready academically. She is the youngest in her class, but you'd never know it. She will be 9 this summer and 5ft tall, I couldn't imagine how she would have towered over the other kids had we decided to wait, of course if she had needed the extra time we would have done so.

I do believe the only reason a child should be "held back" is for academic reasons, maturity and social skills will be learned over time.

I think a child who lacks the maturity or social skills to navigate the classroom is at a severe disadvantage. Like it or not the teacher will be comparing this child to students who, in some cases, are nearly a year older then them. Add to that the strong potential for the child to be ostracized by peers because of it, and it makes for a tough year (or more).

Admittedly I am somewhat bias as in my neck of the woods parents can't wait to send kids to "free school" ready or not. K is all day here so a huge savings over day care.

[Live and Learn]

It must to taken child by child.

I will say that my twins are in high school and they have a friend in their grade who is 364 days older than them. As in their birthday is June 17 1998 and his is June 18 1997. The mom is always bragging about what an athlete he is and is so proud that he is in the the Talented and Gifted program. I will be honest.....when my twins could outrun their friend (who was an entire year older) I was happy for them. When they get better grades than him I'm proud. It feels like he is cheating to me. This friend couldn't outrun the children that are in the grade that he should have been in and he wouldn't have been TAG if he had been placed in that class. Judging by the amount of bragging from the uber athletic competitive parents I suspect that having that competitive edge was a significant reason behind holding him back a year. I dont think they wanted their only son to be just average in his grade level. His birthday is 2 1/2 months away from the cut off date, I can hardly believe the school district allowed it.

I think the reason why it bugged me so much when they were younger is that they boy would boast about his athleticism and it made my boys who were in their PROPER grade level feel bad.

[Play Care]

It must to taken child by child.

I will say that my twins are in high school and they have a friend in their grade who is 364 days older than them. As in their birthday is June 17 1998 and his is June 18 1997. The mom is always bragging about what an athlete he is and is so proud that he is in the the Talented and Gifted program. I will be honest.....when my twins could outrun their friend (who was an entire year older) I was happy for them. When they get better grades than him I'm proud. It feels like he is cheating to me. This friend couldn't outrun the children that are in the grade that he should have been in and he wouldn't have been TAG if he had been placed in that class. Judging by the amount of bragging from the uber athletic competitive parents I suspect that having that competitive edge was a significant reason behind holding him back a year. I dont think they wanted their only son to be just average in his grade level. His birthday is 2 1/2 months away from the cut off date, I can hardly believe the school district allowed it.

I think the reason why it bugged me so much when they were younger is that they boy would boast about his athleticism and it made my boys who were in their PROPER grade level feel bad.

There was a study a few years back that addressed this. IIRC, the gist was that in Kindergarten and First grades, the smartest child in the class was *usually* the oldest child in the class. By Third grade, the smartest child in the class was the smartest child in the class - meaning that the younger kids caught up to their older peers by that time.
In my area I have to say I think most parents are holding their child back for the right reasons - they believe the child will struggle academically or socially if they send them and it might cause the child to have serious issues with school that last. I've never heard any of the parents I know who have kept their child out a year say anything about sports, etc.

[proudmommyofthree]

I really think it depends on the child. I have 2 July kids and one October. My oldest daughter is July and she was in private school when she entered kindergarten. She needed to be assessed first. I was told she was borderline ready and it was my choice to put her in or not. I did and she never had a problem at school. She is a senior in high school and a straight A student. Now my second daughter also July birhtday but only a few days before my oldest was not ready for kinder but I thought let me try and the teachers should let me know if she is ok. I soooo regret starting her a 5. She is In 6th grade now and struggles.

So with my son having an October birthday I had decided to wait. He is really smart and pro robot would have been ready for kinder but I wanted hat extra year of growth for him. Besides here in California they started a new program called transitional kindergarten. That's for kids whose birthdays are between September 1st and December 1st. I had an option to put him in this program since its still new. Let me tell you I'm glad I did and he will be super ready for kindy and he has matured so much in the last few months.

[Live and Learn]

Yes like I said it needs to be taken case by case. Most of my kids are older, ranging in age from 18 to 1. so I have seen both sides. My twins are young for their class and have done just fine and my oldest has an early Sept birthday so he is among the oldest if you don't count the bus loads of BOYS who were held back.

I have also seen my neighbor who worked from home put her late August birthday boys in school right on schedule. We have a Sept 1 cut off. They were both immature and not ready academically. They were easily the youngest in their class. They are both in high school now and they still struggle.

I will say when you hold kids back a year that means that they are 18 their entire Senior year of high school. If the child is prone to drama or sassiness you might hear the ever lovely "you can't tell me what to do. I'm 18". We haven't dealt with this but we have seen friends whose kids pull that one.

I think parents consider the kindergarten/elementary student when they decide whether or not to hold their child back when eventually they grow into high school students. SOMETIMES the decision can backfire when the child realizes that he has a false confidence because he hasn't been competing on a level playing field.

I think about that boy I mentioned in the earlier post and after all of the years of his boasting about his heighth, grades, and athleticism some of his classmates told him that he should try competing against kids his own AGE. And that they could compete against kids a year younger and of course win. When this child got old enough to play competitive club soccer and baseball were the tryouts go strictly by age he wasn't able to make the 1st level or 2nd level teams with kids his own age even after all of the boasting. In the end he chose not to play if he was going to have to play on the 3rd string team with kids his own age. He had told that he had been SUPER DUPER his whole life and didn't want to play if he wasn't going to be the star of the team. I feel like in the long run the decision to hold back this particular child may have been short sighted.