Moral/ethical question...

[daycarediva]

The stepmother of one of my daycare kids is on my daycare facebook page. She happens to be a preschool aide at ds's preschool, in a different classroom. DS attends pt/2 days a week just to get him acclimated to a larger group and being away from me before he starts kindy.

Yesterday ds was not scheduled to attend, but the preschool had a field trip to a bounce house place. The step mom posted pictures of ALL of the kids in her class on her personal facebook, complete with their names and ages. She already shares everything that they are doing, where they are going, and stories about the kids, that include first names. Sometimes good, sometimes 'bad'.

Either way, I feel like this is a HUGE overstep of her employment. I know for a fact that the photo release said nothing about teachers/aides personal facebook pages. I signed a photo release form to be used in classroom displays and for advertisements only, it even said that all names would be omitted.

Per the facebook thread yesterday, I don't allow photos of my children on Facebook. I even intentionally crop them out of the photos I share with daycare families for daycare. It really upsets me that this person is breaking her employers photo policies and it is VERY unprofessional.

Now, if I were to call and tattle on her, the director KNOWS me personally, I wouldn't be able to do it anonymously. I am unsure if she would tell the stepmom who told, and concern over the relationship I have with this DCF is important of course. I also feel that if it were DS on someone's fb page I would want to know.

WWYD??

Really starting to wish I handn't updated the daycare fb page this morning!

[CedarCreek]

I would send dcm a message or just ask her if she got permission from those childrens parents and see what she had to say.

Eta: I think she would most likely be embarrassed and take them down or open up the topic to discuss it.

[daycarediva]

I would send dcm a message or just ask her if she got permission from those childrens parents and see what she had to say.

Eta: I think she would most likely be embarrassed and take them down or open up the topic to discuss it.

She is a step mom, and I see her once a month, maybe less, at pickups when she orders my sweet dcb around. If I did that it would be SUPER akward, I think.

I can (and probably WILL) try to approach it, if I see her very soon though! Great idea!

"How much was the bounce place? I'm sure the kids would love it......Did the parents have to sign a special permission slip for all of the cute photos?"

[canadiancare]

I don't put my daycare kids' photos anywhere. I email them to the parents or make hard copies. I don't even have any non-custodial issues, I just figure they aren't mine to share publicly.

I think I would tell the step mum directly that you have revisited your use of dc photos on fb pages. If she isn't receptive you should tell the supervisor that it is time to implement a policy.

[Blackcat31]

Do you know any of the other mother's in the group? Any of them on this lady's FB page?

I would ask one of them.....

If that doesn't/won't work....then I would seriously consider talking with the Director as a concerned parent and would NOT for one second feel badly about this.

Also shouldn't the Director HAVE to stay mum on who said anything since that would break the rules of confidentiality?

I don't know, I think that if you really feel strongly about it, you almost HAVE to say something as if it IS outright going against her employment rules then it is what it is...kwim?

What's the worst that could happen if this step mom knows you reported this?

[clep]

I was in this situation in the past. It happened to be with some people who were no longer in my day home, so I knew them well and knew they would not be comfortable with their child on fb.

I took a couple of days to think about it and talked with the provider about it who was my friend on fb. She deleted me from fb immediately.

I then went to the family with the pictures and info I printed out before she deleted me. They could not see it as it was on her personal fb page.

They did not stay with her as a provider.

[Country Kids]

You know another parent may complain about this as well or it may just be you. Remember facebook is how things work today.

I honestly don't think she was trying to hide the fact since facebook is everywhere you go now.

Maybe say you don't want your child in any pictures at school. Thats probably the best way to do this. I know sometimes kids even show up in the background of pictures and the person doesn't do it intenionally, then they post it. So you will really have to stress that also-no pictures of your child.

Also, the preschool may think of this as a way of advertisement.

[NeedaVaca]

I would just go straight to the director, it's a violation of the parents rights and a huge safety issue, especially since she is posting identifying information. I would be really upset as a parent if someone did this without my permission. Plus, the director and school could be liable if something were to happen.

[daycarediva]

Do you know any of the other mother's in the group? Any of them on this lady's FB page?

I would ask one of them.....

If that doesn't/won't work....then I would seriously consider talking with the Director as a concerned parent and would NOT for one second feel badly about this.

Also shouldn't the Director HAVE to stay mum on who said anything since that would break the rules of confidentiality?

I don't know, I think that if you really feel strongly about it, you almost HAVE to say something as if it IS outright going against her employment rules then it is what it is...kwim?

What's the worst that could happen if this step mom knows you reported this?

I don't know any of the kids personally, we moved here and don't know a ton of people. Dh does drop offs and pickups and recognized some of the kids, though.

I do feel really strongly. She has over 800 people on her friends list, so it isn't like she shared it with a small group or anything. I might be more likely to ignore it had it not been DS'S school, kwim? What if this is common and ds is on facebook as well?

The worst case scenario is the director tells the step mom who told and I lose dcb as a client (I am also losing his younger brother next fall when he turns two, since he is on the waiting list) Dcb is a great kid and I have very very few issues with the parents in over a year here. It would REALLY stink.

[Blackcat31]

I don't know any of the kids personally, we moved here and don't know a ton of people. Dh does drop offs and pickups and recognized some of the kids, though.

I do feel really strongly. She has over 800 people on her friends list, so it isn't like she shared it with a small group or anything. I might be more likely to ignore it had it not been DS'S school, kwim? What if this is common and ds is on facebook as well?

The worst case scenario is the director tells the step mom who told and I lose dcb as a client (I am also losing his younger brother next fall when he turns two, since he is on the waiting list) Dcb is a great kid and I have very very few issues with the parents in over a year here. It would REALLY stink.

Ok, in that case then I would go directly to the step mom and tell her that you thin she should remove the photos and consider NOT posting any in the future.

Let he know that you KNOW it is against the rules of the preschool and try to approach it like you are "helping" her out by not wanting to see her get in trouble.....kwim?

She may be flippant about it and say it's no big deal but it IS.

Also, does step mom really have that much say into where her step kids go to daycare? Doesn't the dad or the mom have more authority? I mean I understand that the step mom might be PO'ed about it but is she really the one who decides where the kids go? Or is the younger sibling hers and that is why?

[Lyss]

I don't know any of the kids personally, we moved here and don't know a ton of people. Dh does drop offs and pickups and recognized some of the kids, though.

I do feel really strongly. She has over 800 people on her friends list, so it isn't like she shared it with a small group or anything. I might be more likely to ignore it had it not been DS'S school, kwim? What if this is common and ds is on facebook as well?

The worst case scenario is the director tells the step mom who told and I lose dcb as a client (I am also losing his younger brother next fall when he turns two, since he is on the waiting list) Dcb is a great kid and I have very very few issues with the parents in over a year here. It would REALLY stink.

I would talk to the Director then, I would not feel comfortable with my DD's photos all over someone else's FB page! Especially on the page of someone I don't personally know that well and has over 800 "friends"

I would be nervous about losing the client too but I'd risk it. What if the other teachers/assistants are doing this on their page and have photos of your DS posted from other days?

[daycarediva]

Ok, in that case then I would go directly to the step mom and tell her that you thin she should remove the photos and consider NOT posting any in the future.

Let he know that you KNOW it is against the rules of the preschool and try to approach it like you are "helping" her out by not wanting to see her get in trouble.....kwim?

She may be flippant about it and say it's no big deal but it IS.

Also, does step mom really have that much say into where her step kids go to daycare? Doesn't the dad or the mom have more authority? I mean I understand that the step mom might be PO'ed about it but is she really the one who decides where the kids go? Or is the younger sibling hers and that is why?

The younger sib is the step mom's kid. Both of the boys were in a small home daycare with a provider that takes only under 2's, she referred my current dcb to me and they already have younger sib on my waiting list (will be 2 in Sept) I have never before seen a TRULY great/amicable separation but this one really IS. Dad is remarried, Mom is engaged. They all get along, they go to events together or plan things to do together on the weekends. Dcb calls his Mom, Mommy and his step Mom, Mom. His soon to be step Dad and Dad are the same thing. It's like he has two sets of parents, really.

I think I am just going to chat her up the next time she picks up and see what she says. I really hate to be a tattle tale and rat someone out, but a few of her coworkers commented on the photos and didn't seem upset that she posted them. One of them is in DS's room because he told me "Mom, that is Miss Kim's picture!" So how do I know that ds's photos aren't all over facebook and this is common to do?

This preschool has an amazing reputation and is a Montessori preschool with child-led, play based curriculum, only organic meals are served and I believe it is a wonderful asset to our community. I don't want to get anyone fired, or even in trouble, but I HIGHLY doubt the director would approve of this. Even in their advertisements, the kids are usually turned away from the camera. Ds was in an advertisement, I was notified & asked for a copy. The kids were all facing away from the camera and each was in a different color shirt to make a giant rainbow.

Obviously, I pay top notch, and so does every other parent!

I KNOW this woman loves her job. She LOVES working there, she LOVES her kids and when I do see her we 'talk shop' a bit. Very nice woman. I just don't think she has thought about it from the directors/parents perspective.

[Hunni Bee]

Its more than an ethics violation...its a safety issue. Someone can see a child's picture with there name posted, see identifying information from her stories about them, and have enough information to be able to watch and call them away on the next outing. No one knows what her privacy settings are, the whole world may be able to see what she posts.

I wouldn't give a flip about her being able to tell who reported it. Its 2013, and we all know better by now. I'd call the director - whom Im sure will.be grateful to get this info before a lawsuit ensues.

[daycarediva]

Its more than an ethics violation...its a safety issue. Someone can see a child's picture with there name posted, see identifying information from her stories about them, and have enough information to be able to watch and call them away on the next outing. No one knows what her privacy settings are, the whole world may be able to see what she posts.

I wouldn't give a flip about her being able to tell who reported it. Its 2013, and we all know better by now. I'd call the director - whom Im sure will.be grateful to get this info before a lawsuit ensues.

That's what my dh said. I cannot see them when logged out, but, like I said, she has over 800 friends.

That is the main reason we don't post pictures of our kids. SAFETY.

[NeedaVaca]

Also, the 800 friends can comment on the picture and then all their friends can see it and so on...huge liability issue for the school. I'm sorry but she is taking liberties with other people's children. Without written consent! Totally unprofessional and she & the school could face legal trouble if a parent wanted to push the issue.