Violence and Defiance in 3 year old

[MCC]

lets look at this way, dcb hit you, so all the kids saw it, so now they are going to think that its ok to hit you and any adult they come in contact with, is this what you want.

and I would now call the other center and find out why he was termed and if the family caused any problems if you term them.

if he is so out of control you need to call for pick up, not fair to the other kids.

but this is where I would put him in time out and let him scream like crazy, today I am like glue with a dcb and its driving him crazy, but i can't let him get away with what he was doing. I would be like super glue on a kid that hit, he wants to stand infront of toys, remove him, he won't let kids play with toys remove him and give the kids the toys.

sounds like he rules the roost at him and he's getting away with alot.

I thought about contacting the center, but wasn't sure if they were aloud to talk to me about him. I wanted to know their thoughts on a learning delay, as I do not have a degree is psychology, but I know that he is acting different from any other 3 year old I know.

I do use a time out with him, multiple times a day. I feel like he spends most of his time here in timeout, and it breaks my heart. He is in an isolated timeout in the sleep room, because he can not calm down in the playroom. (I have a video monitor in there).

He most definitely runs the house at home. His parents are divorced and the kid goes back and forth everyday. Mom drops off, dad picks up, and flip it the next day. I just think the poor kid needs more consistency, but if the parents wont get on board, there is nothing I can do.

[Heidi]

I thought about contacting the center, but wasn't sure if they were aloud to talk to me about him. I wanted to know their thoughts on a learning delay, as I do not have a degree is psychology, but I know that he is acting different from any other 3 year old I know.

I do use a time out with him, multiple times a day. I feel like he spends most of his time here in timeout, and it breaks my heart. He is in an isolated timeout in the sleep room, because he can not calm down in the playroom. (I have a video monitor in there).

He most definitely runs the house at home. His parents are divorced and the kid goes back and forth everyday. Mom drops off, dad picks up, and flip it the next day. I just think the poor kid needs more consistency, but if the parents wont get on board, there is nothing I can do.

oh...poor baby!

Honestly, it's no wonder. But, you're right. If you have the gumption, I'd set them down and tell them that what they are doing to this boy is just plain wrong. They need to figure out something else for his sake. As for you, my dear, you cannot save him by yourself as I stated above. So sorry...

[MCC]

oh...poor baby!

Honestly, it's no wonder. But, you're right. If you have the gumption, I'd set them down and tell them that what they are doing to this boy is just plain wrong. They need to figure out something else for his sake. As for you, my dear, you cannot save him by yourself as I stated above. So sorry...

I know, the whole situation breaks my heart. It must be so confusing for him. I definitely do not have the gumption to address their custody agreement, but I wish I did, it is not at all the right situation for a 3 year old.

[bluemoose_mom]

I had a boy this age, pretty much the same behavior wise. Perhaps a little less violent. The parent's wouldn't step up and discipline him because he wouldn't stay in time out, so they didn't do time out.

I had him for 4 months, repeatedly sent him home for bad bahavior and did most of what everyone told you to do.

Didn't change anything, and it finally escaleted with him locking himself in my bathroom cause he was angry with me.

I termed after that, but should have way earlier. Mom even told me that since my job was a daycare provider, I should expect to be hit, and deal. I should have termed on the spot during that conversation, and I believe Black Cat told me to but I thought I could still help the little boy.

[daycare]

I am pretty patient, even with fairly extreme behavior, but I draw the line at hurting the other kids.
I would not give this child three strikes in a day. First violent behavior that risks injury to you or the other children, call the parents, and require pick up.
If you put it in their lap, they will need to take it seriously.

this!!

make it their problem. I had a client in the past that her child would tantrum for an hour sometimes more. MOst of the time it was right after drop off, becuase mom would argue with her about clothing that she wanted to wear that day or other behavioral issues mom was having with her. Finally I started calling mom and saying you need to fix this before she gets here, please come pick her up


when the child goes to elementary, they will not get 3 strikes they get one and the parent has to come and pick them up. this should start now... I have made the mistake of trying to work with kids and absorbing the issue only for the parent to tell me later all of the troubles they had in school when they aged out of my program. So now I try to follow the rules of our school district. I start training them the school rules now so that there is no excuse later....

[Angelsj]

Thanks. I guess my bigger question is, with him being 3, he should know better than to hit, right? I wouldn't send an 18 month old for hitting, but where do I set that age line?

Honestly, If an 18 month old was displaying the extreme behavior you are describing, I would still put it in the parents' lap. That is pretty intense. Whether I would ask them to not come back would depend on their reaction and whether they were willing to take it seriously.
And yes, 3 is old enough to listen and not behave this way toward other children. There may be developmental things going on here, but the parents need to figure out what and how to help him. You have to protect ALL the kids.