Has A Parent Ever Talked You Out Of Terming Their Child?

[busymommy0420]

I asked a family to find alternative care and they have since begged me to keep their child. I agreed to do a 30 day trial period with some new techniques to help the child not be aggressive, and to help her listen and follow directions. I was flattered by all the nice things the parents said but wonder if they meant it...or are they just not wanting to find a new daycare? I do care for the child but she can be a handful. I hope I see changes these next 30 days.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Have they tried to? Yes.
Have I backed down from my decision? No! NEVER.

[nannyde]

It's just the bargaining stage of loss. Don't put too much thought into it.

A lot of times they just want to be the ones to say it's over. As soon as you agree to a Finegan Beginagain you are back to square one and they are back in the boss spot of the relationship.

Flattery is often used in this parent interaction. Don't put too much thought into that. It's just words so that they can restart the deal on their own terms.

The kid won't change. The parents won't do anything for the sake of her spot there except the words they give to you. A month isn't long enough to quell violence. Likely they have had this happen before.

Get your house ready for an inspection. If you are registered and you do eventually give them the final kaboom you will most likely get a complaint. You may want to get some documentation on those sweet things they are saying now. It can help a lot when their words aren't sweet.

[cheerfuldom]

Document what happened before including their praise of you and have them sign it. proof that they were happy with care at one point

but no, nothing is going to change in 30 days especially when the plan involves you doing more work, nothing changing on the parents part. 99 times out of 100, if a provider is ready to term, nothing changes by giving it more time. i am sorry to agree with the others but they are just sweet talking their way into more care, the words dont really mean anything. though thats not to say that you are not wonderful!

[just_peachy]

Yes, I termed my first child ever a year ago. DCM talked me into watching him just Mondays... now he's here Monday and Tuesday. SMH...

He's sitting in the middle of the floor throwing a fit as we speak because I won't let him jump on the couch. D'oh!

DON'T DOOO ITTTT!!!!!

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

DON'T DOOO ITTTT!!!!!

This! If you were ready to term, you will not be happy with that relationship

[crazydaycarelady]

Yeah, it happened once but it just delayed the inevitable.

[EAP]

Yeah, it happened once but it just delayed the inevitable.

I agree - especially if its behavior issues.

[MizzCheryl]

It's just the bargaining stage of loss. Don't put too much thought into it.

A lot of times they just want to be the ones to say it's over. As soon as you agree to a Finegan Beginagain you are back to square one and they are back in the boss spot of the relationship.

Flattery is often used in this parent interaction. Don't put too much thought into that. It's just words so that they can restart the deal on their own terms.

The kid won't change. The parents won't do anything for the sake of her spot there except the words they give to you. A month isn't long enough to quell violence. Likely they have had this happen before.

Get your house ready for an inspection. If you are registered and you do eventually give them the final kaboom you will most likely get a complaint. You may want to get some documentation on those sweet things they are saying now. It can help a lot when their words aren't sweet.

Right on exactly!!!
1 family did talk me into keeping them on only to turn around the next week and remove the child. Anytime I term I call licensing and tell them to expect a complaint.

[AmyKidsCo]

No, but that's only because I don't have the spine to term anyone; I just grin and bear it, and look forward to the child's last day.

[MNMum]

I'm learning you have to go with your gut on these things. Your gut was telling you it was time to be done. Stick with your gut.

[busymommy0420]

I am going to do the 30 days and go from there. I only will have this child until July when her Mom has her baby and then I would be done anyways. I do not take infants. Id rather not risk a false complaint. In the future I will take your advice ladies. I have termed before but not for the child's behavior, for other reasons.