Ridiculous Expectations and Behavior

[crazydaycarelady]

Basically I just need to vent. I have a dcm who I absolutely cannot stand her or the way she raises her kids!

Her oldest is 5yo. When she dropped him off yesterday she was holding him on her hip, he had his blankie, and he was crying (like something a 1yo would do.) He has been going to preschool for 2 years yet cannot write his name. However she told me she would like him to be reading by the time he goes to kindergarten! (Dcm works at the preschool he goes to!!!!)

He steals toys and continues to steal toys even after being talked to about it.

He refuses to eat then whines 20 minutes later that he is hungry. Dcm feeds him junk on the way to my house after preschool but then complains that he doesn't eat lunch.

Every day dcm brings 2 GIANT bags filled with every single thing a kid could possibly need for a week. In winter it is 3 giant bags since she brings winter clothes also. I have told her I don't need these things yet she continues to bring the bags in.

She consistently pays me a few days late (they pay by the month so it is a large amount.)

I have to regularly tell the boy to be still, he just starts running and spinning like mad.

Have you ever gotten rid of someone simply because you don't like them? I have had them for 2 years and it is 2 kids, the 5yo and an 18mo who is following in her brothers footsteps.

[wdmmom]

I termed a family a few years ago for these exact reasons. Their kids were hellions, they always paid a couple days late, the girl (age 3.5) was a princess. She didn't think she had to clean up or listen or eat or anything else.

The parents were oblivious that THEY had created a monster.

I tolerated it for 7 months and sent them packing with NO notice!

[NeedaVaca]

It sounds like you either get her on YOUR program or term and be done with it.

Wants him to read-sure tell mom he needs to know his ABC's first and she needs to be working with him regularly at home.

Steals toys? check his pockets everyday before they leave

Doesn't eat because mom fills him up with junk? call her out on it...

Giant bags-nope, sorry mom we do not need all this & I don't want it in my house, please take out what he will need for the day and the rest goes back to the car.

Pays late? no pay no stay

Wow, that's a lot of stuff either you can handle enforcing these things and mom gets with the program quick or just let them go! BTW, I have let a family go simply because I couldn't stand a DCM, I dreaded seeing her at pick ups/ drop offs and when I finally let them go it was a huge relief!

[littlemissmuffet]

Basically I just need to vent. I have a dcm who I absolutely cannot stand her or the way she raises her kids!

Her oldest is 5yo. When she dropped him off yesterday she was holding him on her hip, he had his blankie, and he was crying (like something a 1yo would do.) He has been going to preschool for 2 years yet cannot write his name. However she told me she would like him to be reading by the time he goes to kindergarten! (Dcm works at the preschool he goes to!!!!)

He steals toys and continues to steal toys even after being talked to about it.

He refuses to eat then whines 20 minutes later that he is hungry. Dcm feeds him junk on the way to my house after preschool but then complains that he doesn't eat lunch.

Every day dcm brings 2 GIANT bags filled with every single thing a kid could possibly need for a week. In winter it is 3 giant bags since she brings winter clothes also. I have told her I don't need these things yet she continues to bring the bags in.

She consistently pays me a few days late (they pay by the month so it is a large amount.)

I have to regularly tell the boy to be still, he just starts running and spinning like mad.

Have you ever gotten rid of someone simply because you don't like them? I have had them for 2 years and it is 2 kids, the 5yo and an 18mo who is following in her brothers footsteps.

1. Tell mom little Johnny needs to WALK into the house on his own from now on. This promotes independence and also helps prevent disruptive drop offs. If she doesn't agree, tell her she needs to say her goodbyes outside, knock when she's done, you'll retrieve Johnny and close the door immediately.

2. Nothing from home. No blankies, no toys, no food, no bevvies. Just the child. Child should be dressed in appropriate gear for the day. No extra bags of "stuff".

3. Kid doesn't want to eat lunch. Too bad. Wait until snack. Remind him when he doesn't eat that you don't want to hear how hungry he is between then and snack.

4. Implement HIGH late fees. Mine's $30/day and on day three the family is termed and brought to court if necessary to collect all monies owed... late fee continues building in the meantime.

5. Don't worry about the child not writing his own name or reading yet. That's mom's job to work on him with.

And yes, I have termed families I don't like. That's one of my favorite things about being my own boss... I chose who I will and will not work with

Good luck!

[Lucy]

Oh boy.... I have this same family. Well, in some ways. They are good on paying me, but some of the other stuff fits perfectly. This is 2 sisters. One is 7, and the other is 4.

Junk food... most mornings (unless she's going to pre-school), the 4 yr old comes in with a bag of McDonald's. They don't even TRY to order "healthy" things. It's an egg McMuffin with hash browns and chocolate milk. Also, she arrives at 9:15, so it's too close to lunch. Often she barely eats any lunch because of this, and is hungry an hour after. I just say we have to wait till snack time.

She goes to pre-school 3 days a week, and will occasionally come with fast food when she gets here at lunch time. When mom picks up the girls in the evening, she'll say "where do you want to go for dinner? Panda Express? Red Robin? Thai food?" So they go out A LOT.

The 7 yr old has told me that she has NEVER brought her school lunch from home, and has always been allowed to buy whatever she wants in the cafeteria. I'm quite sure she chooses the most un-healthy items and no fruit or veggies.

The 4 yr old has emotional and behavioral issues, which I'm sure are due to being coddled and babied.

Clothing... the girls never have the appropriate clothing for the weather. In the winter, they would come in a t-shirt with no coat, but now that it is starting to get warmer, they're coming in heavy coats with a skimpy shirt under. Meaning that when we go outside, they HAVE to wear the coat, because the skimpy shirt is not enough for the temperature, but they are sweating in the heavy coat. This isn't all the time, but many, many times this has happened. The 7 yr old sometimes wears heels to school. She WALKS to school with 2 of my other DCK's! And often she will not have even a light jacket when it is cool-ish in the morning. I think the mom is planning for the day's forecast HIGH temp, not realizing that it's too cool in the morning for just a short-sleeved shirt.

Today, the 4 yr old arrived with the proper clothes on, but for a coat she was wearing her bathrobe, and for shoes, she was wearing her slippers. I saw the robe as she walked in and asked if she had clothes under it, and the girl and mom said yes. It didn't dawn on me till later that the robe was her coat for the day! And for some reason, I failed to notice that she had slippers on. I told the girl a few min ago that when we go to the park, she's going to get bark chip slivers in her slippers, as they are slip-on types with the heel exposed. I also told her she'll have to wear an old (boy's!) coat that I keep here. The girl looked down as if she was depressed over this, so I just said maybe next time she can help mom remember that she needs a jacket and shoes.

Toys... sometimes they bring A LOT. I have to admit that I'll put most of them away and bring them back out at pick up time for them to take home.

Yes, I could be on top of all this and tell the mom, but I'm a wuss! I would be more hard-nosed about it, but my small town is saturated with providers, and it takes many, many months to fill spots. It took me almost a year to fill 3 spots, and these girls are 2 of those. The other of the 3 that took so long to fill is leaving in two weeks. I really can't afford to lose these 2 sisters, so I pick my battles with the mom. I did recently tell her that she has to get better at informing me when the 7 yr old is going to her real dad's after school. Sometimes the other 2 SA'ers will be looking for the 7 yr old girl so they can all walk here together, and will call me to say they can't find her. I have to call the mom and she'll say "oh, I forgot to tell you, her dad is picking her up". I finally told her it's not fair to worry my other 2 SA'ers like that. I need better communication.

Ugh, annoying!!! I could go on and on. I'd LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to term them. ONLY because I am so over this mom and the way the kids are raised. But I can't afford it.