NOT One Of My Families...But...

[youretooloud]

My BFF does daycare in my neighborhood. We both have kids who's parents teach at the same school. She takes the older ones, I take the younger ones... often my kids graduate from me, and go to her. The rest go to a Pre-K in the school district.

Anyway... so, one of my old families that she has now, hasn't paid her for last week or this week. They claim they don't have it this week, and will pay her on Friday. (at which point they will be behind two weeks) This has been happening almost monthly since Christmas.

BUT, every few months, they get professional pictures taken with the kids. They seem to have money for these photo sessions. Yesterday, they threw a huge blowout Easter party, hired a photographer for the day, and I assume they paid for that, but they can't afford to pay the provider.

Since they are on my facebook, I can see the pictures of this party, and they are very beautiful, but I know she costs a lot.. I called her about my daughter's senior pictures and it was out of my price range.

They also took a trip the week before last to Lego Land for a few days.

How would you address this? Because I'd be tempted to say "no pay, no stay" today (for tomorrow) and i'd also be tempted to let them go. She is getting four of my kids in August. Neither one of us has much income in the summers because we lose almost all of our enrollment during school breaks.. so, she'd be out this money for one and a half months.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I would have never accepted them into care in the first place without pay. If I were in her shoes now? Stop accepting them into care.

She needs to make her income a priority and stop letting them prioritize things that aren't essential over her.

[NeedaVaca]

I wouldn't have let them do it last week, BUT they got away with it and now they will continue to see how much they can get away with...so she is out 2 weeks pay as of right now, she needs to stand up for herself. I wouldn't let them attend until they are paid in full.

[MarinaVanessa]

I'm confused ... are these previous clients of yours and now her clients and she has not been paid? Or do you keep some of their kids and she keeps some of their kids?

Either way your contract is not her contract with them so if you are paid up and she isn't the there isn't anything for you to do.

If I'm completely misunderstanding then please explain further ... by what I read it says that "she" (as in your friend) has not been paid ... have you not been paid either?

[youretooloud]

I'm confused ... are these previous clients of yours and now her clients and she has not been paid? Or do you keep some of their kids and she keeps some of their kids?

She keeps them both now. (they are four)

I had them until August of this year. They did this to me a few times in the past, but it was more legit... Dad had been laid off, they tried to keep their spot with me, hoping Dad would get another job, so they fell behind a little back then... I was flexible at that time, because I felt like they were trying.

But, now she wants advice because they've done this a lot since Christmas break, and it's for no apparent reason.

[MarinaVanessa]

But, now she wants advice because they've done this a lot since Christmas break, and it's for no apparent reason.

Ahh ok, you're asking advice for her ... I see now.
I would definetely do a no pay no stay policy with them OR she can get them to sign a separate form saying that the client agrees to pay on time from now on PLUS an extra amount per week towards what they owe until they are caught up (like an extra $20 or so). If they don't make these payments then no pay no stay. She's going to keep working for nothing and these clients are going to keep taking advantage until there's no way for them to pay it back.

[Willow]

I'd wait until Friday, get paid, and then term.

People like that have no consideration for anyone but themselves and guaranteed they'll do this again and again if they're allowed to stay. If she says nothing they'll never realize what they did wrong and if she calls them out they'll just get better at hiding it in the future....wouldn't be worth keeping someone who puts their child's care last on their priority list to me.

[AmyKidsCo]

She keeps them both now. (they are four)

I had them until August of this year. They did this to me a few times in the past, but it was more legit... Dad had been laid off, they tried to keep their spot with me, hoping Dad would get another job, so they fell behind a little back then... I was flexible at that time, because I felt like they were trying.

But, now she wants advice because they've done this a lot since Christmas break, and it's for no apparent reason.

The thing is that you really can't judge what other people do; for all you know Grandma is paying for the pictures or the party. The issue here isn't what they spend their money on (that's really no-one else's business), the issue is that they're not paying their child care bills.

It sounds like your friend has been more than patient and understanding with them, and since it's been an ongoing problem I'd say give them a warning that either they catch up on payments and stay current or they'll be terminated.

[countrymom]

I would IMMEDIATELY not take the kids till she is paid. If she waits till friday then they will leave her high and dry. The longer she waits the less likely she will get paid.

also, I know people like this, they don't have money to important things but have money for frivoulus things.

[wdmmom]

Not that it's overly relevant but how much of a security deposit does she have of theirs?

I don't do late payments. Payments here are due Friday for the upcoming week. If payment isn't made on Monday at drop off, they are turned away until they have the cash.

Unless they have a months deposit on file, I wouldn't entertain these fools a second longer. Pay up or ship out!

[Starburst]

Sorry I don't mean to highjack but that sounds similar to what happened to the one provider I used to work for; with the family of one of her favorite SACs that has been with her since DCG was a baby. DCG started to age out but was still attending the daycare regularly (she was already 13 going on 14- the provider's age limit was 12) but the girl has a younger brother who was 10 years old and agreed to still watch DCG because she wasn't responsible enough to take care of both herself and her brother. DCB was kinda spoiled from what I heard (he drank from a baby bottle every night and would throw tantraums- and no he wasn't delayed in anyway; but he was at risk of repeating a grade due to frequent absents). Anyway, in her contract is says that they pay regardless of attendance and DCB had been absent from school for a while (he was pretending to be sick everyday) so he couldn't go to daycare either. The DCM started slowing down on payments (BTW the mom was a doctor with her own office and the DCD was a mailman in a very weathy area). DCM stopped paying but the daughter was still comming to daycare everyday. The mom would tell her that she cannot afford to pay and that times were tough. BUT DCG told us that her mom had a bunch of new unopened boxes full of stuff from QVC and HSN in the living room at home and every couple of weeks DCG would tell the provider that the mom got another thing from QVC or HSN . The provider wanted to term many times but also didn't want to risk losing DCG. Eventually DCG turned 14 and was too old to be legally claimed as a DCK but was old enough to be a junior helper. So DCG would sometimes stop by after school (though she didn't as much after she start high school) but termed the family because DCB was still allways absent and DCM still wouldn't pay- the provider also had a long waiting list so it wasn't like it was a huge financial burden.

But yes, I agree a "No pay, No play" clause should go into effect immediatly the next time they show up without paying. If it's not in her contract she should add it by having all the families sign an ammendment that they understand if they don't pay their kids cannot attend daycare until it is paid in full (including late fees). I would aslo say that after 2 weeks of no payment they are termed.

[youretooloud]

I sent her a link to the thread. She told Dad they needed to pay in full by Wed, or find other childcare. He came back an hour or so later with a check from his Mom. (the kid's grandma)

So, i'm sure there will be some bad feelings from this.

[Starburst]

I sent her a link to the thread. She told Dad they needed to pay in full by Wed, or find other childcare. He came back an hour or so later with a check from his Mom. (the kid's grandma)

So, i'm sure there will be some bad feelings from this.

So now they know she isn't playing around and now she has a fresh start. Hopefully she could learn from this, and know that they are capable of paying but apparently just need a fire lit under them!

[Willow]

I sent her a link to the thread. She told Dad they needed to pay in full by Wed, or find other childcare. He came back an hour or so later with a check from his Mom. (the kid's grandma)

So, i'm sure there will be some bad feelings from this.

Sometimes that's all that's needed to give someone the boost needed to stand up for themselves. I know I worried about coming across too harsh at first. It can be so hard to gauge those things when you're right in the thick of it all.

Good for her!!!