I'm Really Angry At This Dad....

[youretooloud]

I have one child who occasionally gets picked up at 12:30. Her Dad is the boss of two other dads in my daycare. They have a small team of six men, and three of them bring their kids here.

If he has an afternoon meeting, he'll pick his child up on his lunch hour so he doesn't have to worry about leaving his meeting.

Today, he got here and the kids were having a group meltdown. They were tired and hot and soooo ready for a nap.

When he got out to his car, he called the other two dads to say they were both crying. So, while he was still outside getting in his car, I put kids in pack n plays, and got a mat out for the older kid.

He walked back inside to tell me he was concerned for the two kids that were crying... they were literally asleep within minutes of him walking out the door.. in the time it took him to make two phone calls, unbuckle his child and come back in, they were already asleep.

Then, I got a call from one other dad to ask if everything was O.K. I said "Yes, the dad was later than normal, and I kept them all up too late waiting for him, and they were very sleepy". (I purposely blamed him, even though it wasn't entirely true)

The other dad has known me for five years, so he probably just rolled his eyes. But, these other two dads are newer dads, so they are "all worried" now.

For crying out loud...it was nap time.

[LaLa1923]

I have one child who occasionally gets picked up at 12:30. Her Dad is the boss of two other dads in my daycare. They have a small team of six men, and three of them bring their kids here.

If he has an afternoon meeting, he'll pick his child up on his lunch hour so he doesn't have to worry about leaving his meeting.

Today, he got here and the kids were having a group meltdown. They were tired and hot and soooo ready for a nap.

When he got out to his car, he called the other two dads to say they were both crying. So, while he was still outside getting in his car, I put kids in pack n plays, and got a mat out for the older kid.

He walked back inside to tell me he was concerned for the two kids that were crying... they were literally asleep within minutes of him walking out the door.. in the time it took him to make two phone calls, unbuckle his child and come back in, they were already asleep.

Then, I got a call from one other dad to ask if everything was O.K. I said "Yes, the dad was later than normal, and I kept them all up too late waiting for him, and they were very sleepy". (I purposely blamed him, even though it wasn't entirely true)

The other dad has known me for five years, so he probably just rolled his eyes. But, these other two dads are newer dads, so they are "all worried" now.

For crying out loud...it was nap time.

That wasn't very nice of him. This is why I have in my contract no pickups between 12-2:30. :hug:

[Country Kids]

Not good but I in a way can understand. If he walked in and all three of them are crying at once it might raise a red flag to a parent.

Why he went and called the other dads is a little odd. I would from now on just go about my day and keep on routine. If he's a little late then he will pick up a sleepy child but the others will be on their routine.

[youretooloud]

We were just coming inside to put beds out when he got there. They were tired, hot and upset about coming inside..then they also wanted to have their bed "first". It's all about being first this year.

He needs to come earlier and he'll see them happy.

[CedarCreek]

I would say something like that to him.

"Hey dcd, you came and picked up your child at nap time when all of the children are tired and irritable (especially when a parent comes and disrupts their routine) It would be best if you either picked up at the end of naptime or didn't reach out to the other parents and upset them over a non issue."

That would piss me off.

[Blackcat31]

Seriously? Who does that?

I'd be royally po'ed at a parent that called another parent with the intention of somehow saying you weren't caring for their children.....especially since he never even asked you for any details of whether that was or wasn't normal behavior for the kids.

Also, as a parent why would a group of crying children be a red flag? I could see if they were always crying but crying DOES happen in daycare so I would not think it would be anything for a parent to be overly concerned about.

I hope you plan on having a talk with dad about this. I would personally be offended.

[bunnyslippers]

Seriously? Who does that?

I'd be royally po'ed at a parent that called another parent with the intention of somehow saying you weren't caring for their children.....especially since he never even asked you for any details of whether that was or wasn't normal behavior for the kids.

Also, as a parent why would a group of crying children be a red flag? I could see if they were always crying but crying DOES happen in daycare so I would not think it would be anything for a parent to be overly concerned about.

I hope you plan on having a talk with dad about this. I would personally be offended.

Yup!

[Country Kids]

BC-It sounds like this is out of the norm for them to do. If I walked in and the entire group was having a meltdown (which it sounds like) I would definetly wonder what was going on.

I could see maybe one or two but I would question the whole group having one. Especially if you are a parent walking in and everyone is crying-:confused:

We know kids have meltdowns and parents usually deal with one at a time-not a group. Maybe he was a little overwhelmed with it.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

When I've experienced mass hysteria in the past and a parent comes in I always say something to the kids like, "I know you are tired and hot and didn't want to come inside. We will all be able to take a nice nap soon!"

Maybe it's because I have quite a few helicopter/bubble parents that I do this ... but, it at least prevents the parent from wondering.

[bunnyslippers]

I had a similar situation today. A mom and dad picked up in the middle of the day, right after lunch, before nap. Crazy time in my house! I just explained to both of them "This is our typical right after lunch craziness. In a few minutes, they will all be sleeping peacefully."

If those parents then left and called OTHER parents, I would be livid! If they had a question or concern, I would expect it be addressed to me, not to other parents in my program. I just find it inappropriate, and a violation of confidentiality.

[CedarCreek]

BC-It sounds like this is out of the norm for them to do. If I walked in and the entire group was having a meltdown (which it sounds like) I would definetly wonder what was going on.

I could see maybe one or two but I would question the whole group having one. Especially if you are a parent walking in and everyone is crying-:confused:

We know kids have meltdowns and parents usually deal with one at a time-not a group. Maybe he was a little overwhelmed with it.

Questioning it and calling other parents to alarm them are two completely different things.

Dad could have just said "wow, what's going on with these guys?" And he would have gotten a perfectly good explanation.

But he didn't.

[Blackcat31]

When I've experienced mass hysteria in the past and a parent comes in I always say something to the kids like, "I know you are tired and hot and didn't want to come inside. We will all be able to take a nice nap soon!"

Maybe it's because I have quite a few helicopter/bubble parents that I do this ... but, it at least prevents the parent from wondering.

That's usually the only kind of crying I have going on.

Monkey see -monkey do.

Works with positive and negative behaviors.

One kid eats and they all do.

One kid cries and they all do.

Group crying IS normal.

Just so long as it isn't an every day, all day occurrence.

[MyAngels]

That is one of the negatives of having a good referral business I suppose. I would be having a talk with "tattle tell dad" and his wife to address this issue. If he was concerned he should have addressed the issue with you first, and if he was not satisfied with that conversation then he should consider alerting the other parents to whatever concerns he has.

[nannyde]

No parents in the playroom!

This wouldn't happen here because I don't give access to the other day care kids. This situation is a perfect example of why I don't.

[CedarCreek]

Nannyde, how would you keep them from hearing the other children cry though in this situation? Even if they were in the foyer and not the playroom, he would still hear it. Except if the playroom is far away. In which case then the children would be left unattended while you take the child to Dcd, load them up and send them out the door. Do you have an assistant for that?

Come to think of it, how does everyone who has far away playrooms do that without an assistant? Do they all come with you? Do you let the parents walk in and come to the playroom?

Eta: my playroom is right off the front door/my living room. Anyone that comes in sees and hears everything!