Child Kicked Me!!

[Heidi]

TOTALLY get where you are coming from but let's be honest here...half the time when we have young children who hit (under school age) it IS because the parents either allow it or look the other way when it does happen.

As a parent I KNOW my child would never have hit or kicked their adult caregiver.

I guess I would need more information about how this child is otherwise, how the parents are, etc. I'm not a thief, but once when I was 11, I stole something. My sister tried it not too long after and was caught. BIG deal was made out of it (rent-a-cop threatened to haul her off to juvey, dad had to go "talk" her out), and we both never did it again.

I think, unless this is just the icing on the cake with this kid, that he can also learn from this, not just be terminated. He is only 5, after all.

[nannyde]

for those that send home or terminate.. at what age is it "able to be worked around"?
i can totally see a 4 year old being terminated..he should know better..
but i have had 1 year old slap me in the face.. OMG i was so upset. i told the mom, who said something to him, but what do you really say to a one or 2 yr old?? timeout is one minute for a one year old? what does that do?
what do you really do when you have hitting and kicking from a one yr old?

I've never had a kid of any age raise a hand to me. There is no age limit for me. I make it very clear from day one that I'm the leader and any kid who felt bold enough to raise a hand to me would not be the kind of kid that would work in my program.

[butterfly]

I'm surprised everyone would terminate or call to have the child picked up immediately.

I agree the kicking/hitting is not appropriate, but I feel as though it's my job to make every effort to deal with it as the daycare provider. If I called clients to pick up for this, I doubt they would be returning. (which is actually ok in some cases...)

Maybe I'm just too used to dealing with difficult behaviors with foster kids that I have more of a tolerance for this...

I would have a very frank conversation with this child about appropriate behavior and then they would have a consequence of some sort. -usually taking away a fun activity or something the child really likes. They'd have to earn it back with appropriate behavior. They would need to apoligize and I would also speak to the parents about it.

[Blackcat31]

I guess I would need more information about how this child is otherwise, how the parents are, etc. I'm not a thief, but once when I was 11, I stole something. My sister tried it not too long after and was caught. BIG deal was made out of it (rent-a-cop threatened to haul her off to juvey, dad had to go "talk" her out), and we both never did it again.

I think, unless this is just the icing on the cake with this kid, that he can also learn from this, not just be terminated. He is only 5, after all.

I based my reply on the OP's statement that the child has been a bit of a handful.

IMHO, at 5....he shouldn't really be a "bit of a handful"....Rambunctious, all boy maybe but saying he is a bit of a handful to me, is just a nice way of saying he is aggressive/rough/tough to manage.

I am usually inclined to believe that most of us here relay stories and experiences in a "softer light" than they really are...kwim?

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

for those that send home or terminate.. at what age is it "able to be worked around"?
i can totally see a 4 year old being terminated..he should know better..
but i have had 1 year old slap me in the face.. OMG i was so upset. i told the mom, who said something to him, but what do you really say to a one or 2 yr old?? timeout is one minute for a one year old? what does that do?
what do you really do when you have hitting and kicking from a one yr old?

I don't really know ... I had an almost 3-year-old slap me in the face, pinch me, etc. whenever Mom would come for pick up. Eventually I stopped being around at pick-up for that child to abuse. I'd put them over the gate and walk away. I was the ONLY ONE saying, "We do NOT do that to Ms. ___."

[lucky]

Thankyou for the feedback. I didn't react quickly enough to send him home. I will be speaking with his parent's this evening. I sent his mom a message to give her a heads up about what happened. He honestly is a handful and I would be okay with terming him, but the parent's are great. They are thoughtful, pay on time, thank me , never complain about vacation , etc. He is only here until he starts Kindergarten though and my summer would be much less stressful!

[Heidi]

I based my reply on the OP's statement that the child has been a bit of a handful.

IMHO, at 5....he shouldn't really be a "bit of a handful"....Rambunctious, all boy maybe but saying he is a bit of a handful to me, is just a nice way of saying he is aggressive/rough/tough to manage.

I am usually inclined to believe that most of us here relay stories and experiences in a "softer light" than they really are...kwim?

You're probably right...

The oldest in that group of mine last year was quite a "handful" as well. So was his sister. Oh, and the twins were becomming "quite the handfuls....handsful?" ::::::

[lucky]

I based my reply on the OP's statement that the child has been a bit of a handful.

IMHO, at 5....he shouldn't really be a "bit of a handful"....Rambunctious, all boy maybe but saying he is a bit of a handful to me, is just a nice way of saying he is aggressive/rough/tough to manage.

I am usually inclined to believe that most of us here relay stories and experiences in a "softer light" than they really are...kwim?

Blackcat, you are exactly right! It's not just a boy thing, he is just as you described him above!

[Blackcat31]

Thankyou for the feedback. I didn't react quickly enough to send him home. I will be speaking with his parent's this evening. I sent his mom a message to give her a heads up about what happened. He honestly is a handful and I would be okay with terming him, but the parent's are great. They are thoughtful, pay on time, thank me , never complain about vacation , etc. He is only here until he starts Kindergarten though and my summer would be much less stressful!

Blackcat, you are exactly right! It's not just a boy thing, he is just as you described him above!

I am also betting the parents are "golden" because they KNOW this about their child already.

I think in this case, terming IS the only option. Unless YOU want to do all the "fixing" and that is ALOT to take on for one child.

[youretooloud]

I wouldn't have sent him home, or terminated. But, his little butt would have been in bed INSTANTLY. Alone. Not near his friends.

Then, the rest of us would have had special fun after lunch...and maybe an ice cream sandwich at lunch.

Hopefully he'd have slept several hours, so when Mom and Dad heard what he did, they'd know "Oh..now he will be up til 11:00 p.m"

[Crystal]

I agree that five years old is TOO old for that type of behavior. If he does it to you, I imagine he is aggressive with other children as well. I agree with others.....I'd term. NO WAY I'd tolerate ANY child hitting or kicking me....OR the other kids.

[Blackcat31]

I wouldn't have sent him home, or terminated. But, his little butt would have been in bed INSTANTLY. Alone. Not near his friends.

Then, the rest of us would have had special fun after lunch...and maybe an ice cream sandwich at lunch.

Hopefully he'd have slept several hours, so when Mom and Dad heard what he did, they'd know "Oh..now he will be up til 11:00 p.m"

A lot of regulations though do not allow you to separate a child for any length of time and a lot of regulations wouldn't allow you to "punish" him by with holding food. Even if it is only a treat, we would still not be allowed to not give him one and use that in any way as a form of punishment.

NOT saying I disagree with you...just saying I don't think that would be considered appropriate for many programs per their licensing regulations

[youretooloud]

A lot of regulations though do not allow you to separate a child for any length of time and a lot of regulations wouldn't allow you to "punish" him by with holding food. Even if it is only a treat, we would still not be allowed to not give him one and use that in any way as a form of punishment.

NOT saying I disagree with you...just saying I don't think that would be considered appropriate for many programs per their licensing regulations

But, there must be loopholes. He refused lunch. The other kids were having a treat with lunch. It wasn't a separation, just a nap time, which he chose to go to early.

[rmc20021]

I've never had a dck kick me, but I used to have one who was violent and would attack other kids any chance he got. I was younger then, and my husband (ex) happened to be off work when I first got the kid as it took one of us to keep check on the one dcb. After the first couple weeks though he never made any attempts at hurting someone else.

I DID have a foster child bite me once. He was kicking his brother and I sat him on the floor by my legs. He immediately turned and started trying to pound me with his fists...I grabbed his fists and before I could even think he bit down on my inner leg hard enough that he drew blood...right through the jeans. Needless to say, that was the final straw of his behaviors before I had him removed.

[Heidi]

I've never had a dck kick me, but I used to have one who was violent and would attack other kids any chance he got. I was younger then, and my husband (ex) happened to be off work when I first got the kid as it took one of us to keep check on the one dcb. After the first couple weeks though he never made any attempts at hurting someone else.

I DID have a foster child bite me once. He was kicking his brother and I sat him on the floor by my legs. He immediately turned and started trying to pound me with his fists...I grabbed his fists and before I could even think he bit down on my inner leg hard enough that he drew blood...right through the jeans. Needless to say, that was the final straw of his behaviors before I had him removed.

That makes me so sad...

You did the right thing, it's still sad, though..