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I have a 19 month old DCB who is really being a stinker. I can't do timeouts until he's 3 and redirecting, taking things away and talking to him (be nice, no no, not for you, etc) doesn't work, so I need to think of something else. I don't have a place to isolate him, so he's with the rest of the kids as well, and I can't shadow him all the time. It's in the moments I'm dealing with other kids that he does things. Just this morning he's ripped a book to shreds, bit off the tops of markers , pushed/pulled other DCKs, taking toys by force and took snacks from another dck. He started this last week and I really don't want it to last any longer.
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I'm sorry I can't help BUT I am very interested to see what the others have to say. I have a very similar 14 month old dcb. Good Luck! -
have him shadow you,.. where u go he goes, stay right on top of it until he learns that he cant be that way. I wouldnt let him play with things he can tear up. If he isnt old enough not to tear it up, he isnt old enough to play with it.Comment
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I don't understand why you can't do timeouts for a 19 month old dcb? I do put my dckids time outs starting 15 month old and up. I have 19 month old dcg but she used to be a 15 month old who likes to hit another 10 month old so I put her in play pen for time out for one min in a few times in different days. It works so she won't hit her because she knew she would be in play pen for time out if she do that. I think you should try to see if it works. I also had an 18 month old to put time out in the corner for one time and it works. Her mother said she is very cooperated to stay in the corner for one min and she was right. Hope it helps...Comment
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why can't you do time outs, by the age of three they already know how to manipulate you and it would be harder to deal with. You can put him on a mat (I have one by the door) I always tell the kids to sit there till they feel like they can behave, some use it to cry, some use it to have meltdowns. Its like one place that they can do whatever they want---but can't get off the mat. I don't have time limits, as i find every kid is different.Comment
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Wow, Quincy, that stinks! I just checked my regs and mine say they do not recommend time outs for under 3 1/2, but they don't say we can't use it, but use it as a last resort. I do give time-outs for my dck's. Even as young as 20 months. I use it more as an attention grabber (if child has been told not to....has been redirected.....and still doing whatever it is he's been told not to, he gets a time out.). Gets his attention. Kids hear "don't touch" from everyone in their lives all the time, I think they can learn to tune us out! :
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What about putting a pack and play or playpen in/near your play area, and if needed, you could put him in that for a few? I guess, technically, that's a time-out, but what if this child hit or hurt another child? You would definitely remove him then, right? Maybe call it something else?Comment
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Do you have a pack and play? I wonder, if you isolate the child in that, and add toys, would that be considered a time out, or just solitary playtime? If you can't do that, do you have a table you could sit the child at and let them try to do a puzzle or do table toys, something that they can't destroy, of course...Maybe once the child sees he can't play with the other kids because of everything he's doing, he'll get better. We did this with a biter, and all it took was one day. He bit once, and he was isolated. He couldn't play with anyone, and he hated it. He will be 2 in October. So they are very close to the same age...Maybe it would work with you?? Good luck!!!Comment
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Sounds like he's really wanting attention, since he tends to do it when you're busy with other kids. I would make sure that I gave him a lot of attention when you're not busy with other kids (LOTS of positive attention when he's behaving). I would also make sure that he rectifies any situation that he messes up--takes care of the books that he rips, cleans up spills, whatever it is.
Have you had any discussions with mom about it? Is this how he gets attention at home? If kids don't get enough positive attention, they will act out to get the negative attention (negative is better than no attention in their eyes).
I would also make sure that he has plenty of sensory outlets- do you have a sensory table? With him destroying things, it seems like he could really benefit from sensory play- playdough, silly putty, fingerpainting, sand, water, etc.
Hope that helps!
KatyComment
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Thanks everyone. I will try Katy's suggestions and do a pack-n-play with toys if that doesn't work. He's weight wise too big for a PnP but I think just a few minutes won't hurt.
I tried playdoh this afternoon and he just stared at it. :confused:Comment
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Huh, some kids don't like to get messy, maybe that was it?? Did you show him how to play it? If he hasn't used it before, he'd have no clue. I usually start off with showing them how to pound it and then roll it into snakes, they usually like that...beyond that, I don't know?? :confused:Comment
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It sounds like most of what you described is just the age--how are his language skills? It sounds completely like "typical toddler" to me, and there's not really anything you can do to alleviate behaviors that are both developmentally normal AND developmentally appropriate. That's just how young toddlers are. It's okay that you can't do time-outs yet, because he wouldn't understand.
It does sound like he might be needing some extra attention right now--snuggle him, cuddle him, bring him with you wherever you can, fill him up with positive attention and positive reinforcement.
You can also "remove the situation from him" as much as you can--put the markers away as well as any books that aren't board books. Pulling/pushing on other kids, taking toys, and taking snacks are all things that are going to be VERY hard to teach such a young toddler not to do (even my 2.5 year olds can't always keep from doing these!)
Good luck--toddler years are challenging!Hee hee! Look, I have a signature!Comment
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I'd have a talk with his Mom and let her know what is going on and talk about how you want to handle these things. With kids this age I think it helps to have the same consequences at home and at daycare.Comment
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What? They are telling you what age you can put a child in time out uh no I dont think so its your daycare buisness not theirs. My own kids started being put in time out at 15 to 18 months and so where my daycare kids thats insane. I would put him in time out for a minute what else can you do saying be nice dont do that in a nice voice will do nothing. What is this world coming too this is why kids are out of control cant spank your own children now a days either and now daycares cant put kids in time out before age 3.Comment
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