Term?

[Soccermom]

Hey all I haven't been here in awhile because my computer was broken but I am back up and running and missed you all dearly!! I missed the great advice too

I have a DCG who I have been having issues with since September. She is 9. Without going into big details about the backstory...basically she was stealing and lying which has been under control for the last 2 months (DCPS and I worked closely to control the issue). Just last week I sent a note home stating that I would be placing her back on my regular rate and that she would remain on that rate if there were no new incidents (I had increased due to all the issues and extra supervision she required.)

Today I am dusting my shelving unit which holds all the DCKS art supplies and homework things and noticed a letter G engraved into the top of it!!
This is the first letter of DCG's name!
Last friday I did notice her with her back to me hanging out suspiciously there and when I asked her what she was doing, she replied that she was admiring my candle (Which she then must have placed over top). I told her to take her seat and left it at that.
I dusted that shelf last tuesday and that letter G was not there!!

What should I do with this? What is next with this kid!? It is so hard to term because of the issues she has, the DCPS send me on a huge guilt trip....

Prior issues aside, would you term a child for destructing your property?

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Choosing to destroy my property repeatedly/stealing repeatedly would result in a termination. Especially at that age.

[butterfly]

I don't know if I'd term over this, it would depend on her history. Apparently there has been some bad behaviors in the past for increased fees to incur... So in your case, I guess maybe I would term...

Typically, I just come to expect that my property is going to get damaged in this line of work. I do my best to redirect and keep the kids supervised, but things happen. However at age 9, they know better...

[CedarCreek]

Choosing to destroy my property repeatedly/stealing repeatedly would result in a termination. Especially at that age.

Yup.

I basically have 3 rules.

Don't hurt yourself

Don't hurt others

Don't destroy my property!

[rmc20021]

I don't think I'd even have to question it. First of all I don't really care for school aged kids. Second, it sounds as though there has been continuous behavioral problems...all of which I feel I DON'T have to deal with. If the issues had been sufficient enough I'd have felt the need to increase their fees, it would not have been worth it to me to keep her. That's just me though. I'd much rather have peschoolers/toddlers and if THEY were to do something like that, it's more expected of them to destroy something rather than a 9 yo.

[daycarediva]

Ohhh goodness yes I would term! Is it something that can be repaired? I hold all of my dcp's IN the contract liable if their child intentionally breaks/destroys something. I have and will continue to charge parents to replace/repair things.

I don't accept that just because I have a daycare my personal property/home will be destroyed. It is unacceptable behavior and children should learn to respect other peoples belongings. ESPECIALLY at 9 years old.

I had a dcb (7 at the time) throw/shove back my dining room table so hard it fell and broke. It was an EXPENSIVE set. Dcm bought me two new chairs (they only came in 2's) which totaled more than 1 months worth of daycare tuition. They were termed as well.

[cheerfuldom]

I would only term if I knew for sure she did. Talk to her and see if she confesses. Then let mom know she did confess to this and you have to let this child go permanently. you have put up with enough! is there anyone else who can reach that shelf?

[countrymom]

the problem if you go and tell mom is that you are going to be blamed because you were not watching her. I would never have increased my rate, I would just either work harder with the girl or term her. I would ask the girl if she did it, you will know if she is lying. I would personally term her, don't let her parents problems be your problems, she's in school now so let the school deal with her emotional issues.

[Unregistered]

I would only term if I knew for sure she did. Talk to her and see if she confesses. Then let mom know she did confess to this and you have to let this child go permanently. you have put up with enough! is there anyone else who can reach that shelf?

None of the little kids can reach it. My own two would never dream of doing something like that and the other girls have been here for almost 3 years and I have never had any issues with them. I have never even had to discipline them in 3 years. All the kids are great except this one DCG who gives me a hard time. Plus the fact that it was the first letter of her name....

DCD came to pick up little sister before the big kid bus came and I showed it to him. He was horrified. I asked if he doubted that she had done it and he said no....that says a lot. He told me he would ask her about it and then talk to his wife. They will call me back tonight. I told him I could not have her here destroying my furniture. Things get broken or damaged with daycare, that's a given but this is on purpose and she is 9.
Not sure what to say when they call...2 weeks notice? No notice? Make them pay for the damage? I don't have a contract with them.

[MyAngels]

Is this the same child that was discussed last fall? If so, I would lean toward terming.

[Unregistered]

Is this the same child that was discussed last fall? If so, I would lean toward terming.

Yes MyAngels, it is the same one. I kept her on because she was diagnosed with some compulsion issues and after many lengthy conversations with DCPS and some changes and adjustements I continued to care for her because I felt bad for her and her family. That is why I had increased the rate..I have a special needs rate and in my eyes she required special attention. DCPS agreed to that and we have worked together ever since trying to deal with the original problem we had this fall. She has been good for the last 2 months or so ( other than lying but it was minor...) but now this.
I think I will term. It has been a long time coming.
Last time I mentionned terming to DCM, she began tro cry uncontrollably and even called me twice in tears asking me to reconsider... which is why I gave in and changed her rate.

I am not looking forward to this phone call.

[Blackcat31]

Yes MyAngels, it is the same one. I kept her on because she was diagnosed with some compulsion issues and after many lengthy conversations with DCPS and some changes and adjustements I continued to care for her because I felt bad for her and her family. That is why I had increased the rate..I have a special needs rate and in my eyes she required special attention. DCPS agreed to that and we have worked together ever since trying to deal with the original problem we had this fall. She has been good for the last 2 months or so ( other than lying but it was minor...) but now this.
I think I will term. It has been a long time coming.
Last time I mentionned terming to DCM, she began tro cry uncontrollably and even called me twice in tears asking me to reconsider... which is why I gave in and changed her rate.

I am not looking forward to this phone call.

I was wondering the same thing as MyAngels.

Since this is the same child, I would be terming her.

The issues you had before and now this is way too much for anyone to have to deal with.

Nice to see you back too! happyface

[Heidi]

Welcome back, and yes, I think it's time.

Clearly, she has issues that are beyond what fall in the "childcare" realm. I'm sorry...:hug: