Ugh...I'm in a Pickle!

[wdmmom]

First let me start out by saying this: I know I shouldn't be getting worked up over this now or just yet but I can't help but fear the unknown.

Here is my dilemma:

DCM (teacher) announced to me back in January that she was expecting in August! She wanted to know if I would have an opening in October when she returns to work. I told her this, "It's a really long ways away and things could change but I'm sure we can figure something out."

DCB I currently watch is 2.75 and has been coming to me since he was 10 weeks old. I love this family! NO issues ever! Keeps DCB home when he is sick, keeps him home when DCP's are sick, stays home on Christmas and Spring Break, pays on time, etc. A really great family.

Another DCB I have is turning 4 this summer. He is not potty trained and I had mentioned to DCM a few weeks ago about preschool enrollment for the fall. I know she checked into a couple of them but I don't think her work schedule will permit the comings and goings needed to accommodate the transportation required. She let me know yesterday that he would continue attending daycare for another year.

Well, I had really banked on him leaving. Not because he is a bad kid or anything but because he is severely delayed developmentally and could really benefit from a preschool surrounding prior to entering kindergarten. The other big issue is his unwillingness to potty train and DCM's unwillingness to promote it. He's already in the biggest diaper they manufacturer and they are too small. On top of wearing clothing that is far too tight and too small, it is really hindering his ability to become independent.

I want to bring these issues up to mom but I think she would really take on a defensive roll.

Without the discussion of money to teacher's mom, I think it's best to leave things alone for now but I really would like to take on the baby and either terminate the 4 year old or the other infant I have. (I've written about him before...not drinking bottles, not napping, parents always wanting extra, etc.)

I'm the type of person that functions best on knowing what's going on at all times. I need to have a plan in place...just in case.

I know if I don't take the new baby, I lose the almost 3 year old and if I take the baby, not only am I out 2 incomes for the summer but I have to terminate someone. HELP!

[NeedaVaca]

so the teacher doesn't pay during the summer? not even a partial payment to hold her spot?

I do think summer is the easiest time to get new kids, a lot of parents need care for summer only. Maybe you can start advertising for that?

[Jewels]

I would take the teachers baby, and I would wait until I needed to terminate the 4 year old, which I personality would terminate the 4y year old to take the baby, I also think summer is so easy to get kids, I would love teachers kids to be able to continue to still take my past daycare kids.

[daycarediva]

I would also terminate the 4 year old to get the baby. Awesome families are hard to come by, imho and I would prefer to have light breaks/summers with a teacher family vs increased pay.

I would approach preggers dcm and tell her that you would like to enroll the infant to ensure he/she has a spot for fall. Sign up a contract and get a deposit (or have her start paying extra towards deposit) ASAP.

I would also approach dcm about the potty training and delays ASAP. Her issue is probably that most preschools don't take non potty trained kids!

[butterfly]

I'd wait and see what the summer brings... So many things could change by October. Maybe one of the other clients will end up moving or having to leave for one reason or another. I'd definitely plan to take the baby, but I'd wait to term until closer to the time - maybe mom will decide to stay home with the baby and then you'd be out the baby, sibling and the boy you termed...

Good Luck!

[butterfly]

I would also approach dcm about the potty training and delays ASAP. Her issue is probably that most preschools don't take non potty trained kids!

My thoughts exactly!!

[wdmmom]

My thoughts exactly!!

I have talked to dcm countless times. Her response is always the same, "He'll catch on when he's ready."

She treats him like a baby so I don't expect any changes anytime soon. And her failure to identify that he's developmentally delayed will only hinder him going to kindergarten on time. He really needs preschool and she needs to stop babying him. I don't know many children that are almost 4 that don't try to dress themselves or put on their own socks or shoes. He doesn't. He gets frustrated, cries and puts his fingers in his mouth and baby talks that he can't do it.

He will go to the bathroom but I have to undress him, put him on the toilet and redress him and I'm not putting that kind of effort into it when I know she's not and the kid can't tell me if he's wet or dry or has to go.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I'd wait and see what the summer brings... So many things could change by October. Maybe one of the other clients will end up moving or having to leave for one reason or another. I'd definitely plan to take the baby, but I'd wait to term until closer to the time - maybe mom will decide to stay home with the baby and then you'd be out the baby, sibling and the boy you termed...

Good Luck!

Great advice!

... and now this pregnant lady wants a pickle. ::

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I have talked to dcm countless times. Her response is always the same, "He'll catch on when he's ready."

She treats him like a baby so I don't expect any changes anytime soon. And her failure to identify that he's developmentally delayed will only hinder him going to kindergarten on time. He really needs preschool and she needs to stop babying him. I don't know many children that are almost 4 that don't try to dress themselves or put on their own socks or shoes. He doesn't. He gets frustrated, cries and puts his fingers in his mouth and baby talks that he can't do it.

He will go to the bathroom but I have to undress him, put him on the toilet and redress him and I'm not putting that kind of effort into it when I know she's not and the kid can't tell me if he's wet or dry or has to go.

Print off this packet of developmental checklists. All of them, so she can see what age these things TYPICALLY occur at.

Observe him for 1-4 weeks and write down the date that the things occur on (for the 4-5 year old developmental checklist). Keep a copy of the 4-5 year old checklist and send the original packet home.

http://www.preschoollearningcenter.org/images/upload/developmental_checklist.pdf

If you want to observe more here's a more in depth one:

http://www.daycaretools.com/documents/Developmental-Checklist-Fours-And-Fives.pdf

[AmyKidsCo]

I'd wait and see what the summer brings... So many things could change by October. Maybe one of the other clients will end up moving or having to leave for one reason or another. I'd definitely plan to take the baby, but I'd wait to term until closer to the time - maybe mom will decide to stay home with the baby and then you'd be out the baby, sibling and the boy you termed...

Good Luck!

I agree... Wait to see what happens. What if the teacher's mom suddenly decides to retire and take care of the baby? If you terminate one of your other children you could end up with no-one...

[TheGoodLife]

I'd wait and see what the summer brings... So many things could change by October. Maybe one of the other clients will end up moving or having to leave for one reason or another. I'd definitely plan to take the baby, but I'd wait to term until closer to the time - maybe mom will decide to stay home with the baby and then you'd be out the baby, sibling and the boy you termed...

Good Luck!

This just happened to me- I took a 3 1/2 yr old in October, and held a spot for his expected sibling, born in February. I only watch 3 kids at a time (license-exempt) so this was a BIG deal. When I lost my only FT DCG in February I was OK since I knew the new baby would be starting in a few weeks... until DCD stoped by with a payment one weekend and told me DCM decided to work from home with both and they wouldn't be returning. So then I was out both spots and didn't get a chance to even say goodbye So I would be very carefully terming anyone until a lot closer to the time you need the spot! Good luck :hug:

[Springdaze]

Dont they have something in the school system for delays where he could go?

I would take the baby because you potentially have a client that you like for another 4-5 years with him/her

[countrymom]

I would take the baby over the other kid because you'll have the baby for 4 yrs as opposed to the 4 yr old that you will have maybe for 1 yr. Also, I would let mom know that her ds has outgrown your program, because really he has, if she can't accept that there are issues well then why should you have to deal with it. I'm so glad that kids here go to school at the age of 3/4 because then I don't have to deal with some of the issues.

[crazydaycarelady]

I need advice on dealing with helpless almost 3yo.

I have been doing dc for almost 22 years old but this kid is just not moving forward at all. I am frustrated an annoyed with him!

He is almost 3yo, not potty trained, can't pull pants up or down, can't put on shoes, can't put on coat, doesn't follow directions.

The most frustrating part is rather than use words he whines and cries whenever things don't go his way, which is A LOT! I have tried everything but what I am doing now is the first time he whines I tell him the nest time
will be a time-out, second time I tell him that next time he will have to go lay down.

We had him almost potty-trained but then dcm had maternity leave and he went completely back to diapers.

I just can't take the whining though. What to do??