Yes, Another Potty Training Question. Sorry!

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  • Angelsj
    Daycare.com Member
    • Aug 2012
    • 1323

    #16
    Originally posted by Francine
    This is exactly what I told the parents a year ago but they pushed on, they were bound and determined that he was going to be trained before his little sister was born two months ago. This may not be 100% stubbornness but he is the most strong willed, obstinate child I have ever seen. Not just regarding potty training, about everything! I'm not saying that to be mean, I love him to death but he is a challenge.
    The bolded above is the problem. It is incredibly unlikely that a child will train when a younger sibling is expected/newborn. I am in the Leave him alone camp. Let him get accustomed to his new sibling. Stop making it an issue at daycare. You can't control what his parents do, but you may want to give them some literature about the effects a sibling can have on a child.

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    • Francine
      Daycare.com Member
      • Mar 2010
      • 460

      #17
      Okay so here is what just happened, he has been here since about 8:30 this morning so I assumed his pants were wet so I said " Come on X let's go get your pants changed" he then says " But I'm still dry" so I said " then let's go in and go potty so that you stay dry" And he did! BUT had I not taken him out of the play room thinking to change his pants he never would have told me he had to go potty, he would have gone in his pants and not said a thing. I understand everything that has been said about kids doing it in their own time when they are ready but isn't there ever that kid that just doesn't want to stop doing whatever they are doing to go?

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      • Angelsj
        Daycare.com Member
        • Aug 2012
        • 1323

        #18
        Originally posted by Francine
        Okay so here is what just happened, he has been here since about 8:30 this morning so I assumed his pants were wet so I said " Come on X let's go get your pants changed" he then says " But I'm still dry" so I said " then let's go in and go potty so that you stay dry" And he did! BUT had I not taken him out of the play room thinking to change his pants he never would have told me he had to go potty, he would have gone in his pants and not said a thing. I understand everything that has been said about kids doing it in their own time when they are ready but isn't there ever that kid that just doesn't want to stop doing whatever they are doing to go?
        See, I don't have a big problem with that at all. I just don't think it is fair (to you or to him) to EXPECT it all the time. You should not have to be on top of him all the time, and he obviously has some issues with going right now, whether it is baby or just him not being ready.

        I don't think it hurts to ask occasionally, and if you happen to be ready to change him and he is dry, that works. I just think it needs to be relaxed and calm, no pressure on either of you. A few successes and he will start to get it.

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        • Willow
          Advanced Daycare.com Member
          • May 2012
          • 2683

          #19
          Originally posted by Francine
          Okay so here is what just happened, he has been here since about 8:30 this morning so I assumed his pants were wet so I said " Come on X let's go get your pants changed" he then says " But I'm still dry" so I said " then let's go in and go potty so that you stay dry" And he did! BUT had I not taken him out of the play room thinking to change his pants he never would have told me he had to go potty, he would have gone in his pants and not said a thing. I understand everything that has been said about kids doing it in their own time when they are ready but isn't there ever that kid that just doesn't want to stop doing whatever they are doing to go?
          No potty trained kid *wants* to stop what they're doing to go

          The difference is they are able to differentiate between what is need and what is choice. They see using the bathroom as a need, whereas a child who isn't ready will view it as optional. It's an issue of maturity level. A child who is developmentally ready will make the choice to go no matter what they're doing.


          If you have to keep up with shadowing, asking if he has to go, asking if he's dry, asking him to sit and try...if there's no initiation on his part, then he's not quite there yet.

          Staying dry for that amount of time is a great sign! But he needs to be the one telling you that he needs to go, asking you to take him. If you think the dialogue helps, just continue to build awareness with diaper changes and books if you've got 'em.

          Even though we don't watch the show much I like the song from Daniel Tigers Neighborhood because it's catchy and easy to remember:
          "If you have to go potty, STOP - and go right away. Flush and wash....and be on your way!" If I have a kiddo who is getting close to being ready we'll all sing it at random times during the day. When the light bulb first clicks on and they actually put it to practice it's pretty fun to see

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