Before You Were A DC Provider, If You Had Kids In DC...

[AfterSchoolMom]

Did you see daycare and your DC provider differently then than you would now, knowing what you know from being a provider yourself?

There are hundreds of posts about parents who question or defy our policies, drop off early/pick up late, "forget" payment, and who generally expect "special" for all situations. I've experienced nearly all of this myself.

I remember a time when I was working and had two small children, and though they weren't in daycare all the time, I did have a provider who took mine on a drop in basis. I would have NEVER asked for "special", because I'm not that sort of person...but I do remember a time when I forgot payment, I'm very embarrassed to say. I guess the difference is, I was mortified and rectified it immediately.

I also still talk to that provider, and after I started doing daycare, I apologized to her for any issues that she may have had because of me.

What do you think?

[momofboys]

I used to use a hdcp before.I did childcare & I never would have treated her the wsy I have been treated by some. I know we were not perfect but we always paid on time,.got her flowers/gift cards for bday/christmas. My husband reminded me the other ay that thete were a couple if ocassions when we were late pickung up by maybe 5-10 min. She did not have late fees or really any strict****les other than paying in advance. I do feel bad about that & I realize now why it is important to have guidelines in place.

sorry for typos, on my phone - little buttons

[momofboys]

That should have said strict policies

[itlw8]

not really I got off some Friday afternoons but if a patient ran late I killed time until 3 so I would not wake the kids. if I could I rushed to get him before nap. she never knew which but neither did I.

[Blackcat31]

Both my kids were in daycare before I started my own. I used both a child care center and a family child care provider.

I liked the center a lot and my kids did well but it got expensive and I had summers off (I was a Head Start teacher) and they didn't have a policy about holding your space. Basically it was use it or lose it.

I ended up taking my kids out of the center though when although given strict instructions to never release my kids to my MIL, they did it. Not once but twice. The second time, we stopped going...IMMEDIATELY and were given a refund for the remaining days we hadn't used. They KNEW they messed up there.

I used a family provider and although I didn't really click with her, my kids LOVED her and we chose her because my co-worker brought her child there and the provider didn't charge for holding my spaces in the summer months.

I always paid on time, was never late to pick up or drop off and always kept my kids home if I was off or they were sick. The only real issues I had with her were that she allowed her own DS to pick and chose which DCK's he would allow into his room and that sometimes caused some issues between my DS and the provider's child since my DS was never one allowed to go into the provider's DS's room. I wouldn't have left over it though.

We ended on bad terms though because I asked her about starting my own child care (as I became unhappy with my job) and instead of being supportive or helpful she developed a completely different personality and became rude and very cold towards me, my DH and our children. Ultimately, we decided that she wasn't going to snap out of it and whenever we tried to speak with her about it, she tried to pretend nothing had changed.

We gave our two weeks notice, ended up paying for it rather than attending and left it at that.

Eventually when I began the licensing process, I learned she had lied to me about a lot of information and seems to deliberately led me in the wrong direction but I assume now in hindsight that she felt as if I was maybe stepping on her toes or would be competition to her. I don't know but that is the only thing I can think of as to why she acted like she did.

I do see her now and then at provider trainings and such and although she is cordial, she is NOT friendly to me. :confused:

Oh, well....I even recommend her to others when they call and I have no openings because although we had "issues" (if you want to call it that) I still think she was a good provider and would never wish her ill will.

[Patches]

I worked in child care centers with both my kids and then I went to a center that didn't take infants and put my youngest into a home daycare. I LOVED her! I tried to be a golden parent because even though I had not experienced alot of it firsthand (being in a classroom and not the office), I had seen some PITA parents in my years working in centers. Looking back on it now, there were a few things I did that I would not allow in my business (now that I know better) and I feel bad for that, but I don't think she had any problems with me.
Like BC, when I was thinking about opening my own daycare, I asked her for advice, but she gladly helped me with so much through the process, even after I took my son out. I did give her 3 weeks notice, instead of 2. I really didn't want to take my ds out of there I have gone to visit her a few times since we left, too.

[CedarCreek]

Same sort of situation here.

My youngest son was with a home provider for about a year when I asked her about how to open my own. She was very helpful with the process but her husband apparently was irritated with me and said I was her competition now.

We still talk, sometimes we go to ce courses together.

When ds was there,I did forget to pay on Fridays a few times. she would text and see if she could come get it and I always felt horrible and told her yes, I'll come to you or you can come here. So sorry!

Ds loved it there,I was sad to take him out. But starting my own DC has been better than the horrible field I was in before.

[Mom&Provider]

My son went to home daycare and I worked f/t prior to having my daughter. I never forgot a payment and never asked for anything special either. I always picked him up and dropped him off as late/early as I could, never picked up late etc. and if I took the day off, he was with me, unless I had an appointment, then he would go until I was done and then he'd be picked up! Maybe this is one of the main reasons I become so frustrated now with parents who do this to me!?

Even though I did pretty well with her, we never took advantage, I think the difference now is I respect her more. I get why she was upset with me (although didn't say it to my face) one time when I was the only parent dropping off my son on Dec. 24th (until 2 pm), I understand why she wanted me to just leave some mornings when my son would cry to not be there - I get all that now, more then I did then. I also get why she would love even 1/2 a day off to herself and why some mornings she wasn't always really happy first thing!

This is NOT an easy job! It is a JOB and just as hard, if not harder, then lots out there. I think when I return to work I will appreciate what I have more, realize how hard this job can be some days and make sure to be one of the 'good' parents we all notice right away and appreciate so much!

[MyAngels]

I admit it, I was not the ideal daycare parent. I often forgot to call when I was keeping the kids home. I was late paying every now and then. I brought breakfast into the daycare center when we were running late (often :. I would stay and try to calm my DD when she threw fits at drop off. I pulled my DS without notice and payment (the provider deserved that, though - a whole other story to it). Yep, that's me, a typical PITA parent ::.

In my own defense, this was over 25 years ago when most providers didn't have written policies. I also used several different providers so one individual didn't have to put up with all of that.

I think that's one of the reasons that I tend to be more patient with clients and more likely to work out problems than term.

[MarinaVanessa]

I would have NEVER asked for "special", because I'm not that sort of person...but I do remember a time when I forgot payment, I'm very embarrassed to say. I guess the difference is, I was mortified and rectified it immediately.

I also still talk to that provider, and after I started doing daycare, I apologized to her for any issues that she may have had because of me.

What do you think?

I used two FCC providers before I opened up my daycare and although I did have some communication issues with my first provider I never treated her in a disrespectful manner or would have treated either of them the same way that some clients have treated me.

My second provider was always very frank with me and very no-nonsense but she was a very friendly and a good provider and very loving to the kids. With her there were two occasions I believe that I forgot my payment but thank goodness that I would get off early and I would immediately run home, get my check and run back to pay her immediately. Technically I wasn't late in paying her because I had until the end of her business day but I always felt horrible anyway. I personally can't see how other people would think it's ok to pay late or break the rules :confused:.

We ended on bad terms though because I asked her about starting my own child care (as I became unhappy with my job) and instead of being supportive or helpful she developed a completely different personality and became rude and very cold towards me, my DH and our children. Ultimately, we decided that she wasn't going to snap out of it and whenever we tried to speak with her about it, she tried to pretend nothing had changed.

We gave our two weeks notice, ended up paying for it rather than attending and left it at that.

Eventually when I began the licensing process, I learned she had lied to me about a lot of information and seems to deliberately led me in the wrong direction but I assume now in hindsight that she felt as if I was maybe stepping on her toes or would be competition to her. I don't know but that is the only thing I can think of as to why she acted like she did.

I do see her now and then at provider trainings and such and although she is cordial, she is NOT friendly to me. :confused:

Oh, well....I even recommend her to others when they call and I have no openings because although we had "issues" (if you want to call it that) I still think she was a good provider and would never wish her ill will.

I think this is sad. My 2nd provider suggested that I do FCC and was very supportive about it even before we had mentioned to her that I was interested in starting my own FCC. She gave me tons of information about the whole process and was very frank with me about the positives and negatives about the business. She never sugar coated anything which I am thankful for. I think that it's very sad when providers don't help support each other even when just starting out. I had her to support 100% and I think because I am thankful I feel like I should pay it forward. Because of this attitude I was offered great opportunities for growth and a Board spot in our local association. Good things come to those who put things out there.

In retrospect I think back to my 1st provider and I do remember things that I would never allow in my own daycare. I was also misled back then by her but about regulations, I doubt it was intentional but I do believe she was misinformed and because of that misinforming me. I remember going to my orientation before getting my license and seeing so many no-no-s that my 1st provider would allow that shouldn't have been happening. Even now I still talk to both providers and when I talk to the 1st provider about certain issues that I think she should be careful with she very strongly assures me that she is within her right. .

[wdmmom]

My kids were always taken care of by my mom while I worked. After we moved in 2006, I was forced to find daycare for my youngest. I knew I didn't want a center. I wanted a home daycare with someone I could trust. Luckily for me, my friend introduced me to Nannyde...yes...the one and only Nannyde! She took care of my daughter for almost 2 years until I moved to the other side of town.

While my daughter was in her care, my feelings were at ease. Not only is she a RN but my daughter would come home daily telling me about the activities she got to do, the friends she played with, the toys she played with, the meals she ate and that she loved her Nan.

Nan and I may be a generation in age apart but I grew up with the same respect as her policies ask of her families. She didn't ask for anything of me that I didn't feel I shouldn't already contribute. I respected her, she respected me and we developed a great friendship out of it.

Now years later, here I am operating my own daycare and have adapted many of the same policies she had. I've had very minimal issues along the way for being a rookie. I contribute that to honing into my spidey-skills and finding good families that have the same values I do.

[AfterSchoolMom]

My kids were always taken care of by my mom while I worked. After we moved in 2006, I was forced to find daycare for my youngest. I knew I didn't want a center. I wanted a home daycare with someone I could trust. Luckily for me, my friend introduced me to Nannyde...yes...the one and only Nannyde! She took care of my daughter for almost 2 years until I moved to the other side of town.

While my daughter was in her care, my feelings were at ease. Not only is she a RN but my daughter would come home daily telling me about the activities she got to do, the friends she played with, the toys she played with, the meals she ate and that she loved her Nan.

Nan and I may be a generation in age apart but I grew up with the same respect as her policies ask of her families. She didn't ask for anything of me that I didn't feel I shouldn't already contribute. I respected her, she respected me and we developed a great friendship out of it.

Now years later, here I am operating my own daycare and have adapted many of the same policies she had. I've had very minimal issues along the way for being a rookie. I contribute that to honing into my spidey-skills and finding good families that have the same values I do.

happyface

[Play Care]

Did you see daycare and your DC provider differently then than you would now, knowing what you know from being a provider yourself?

There are hundreds of posts about parents who question or defy our policies, drop off early/pick up late, "forget" payment, and who generally expect "special" for all situations. I've experienced nearly all of this myself.

I remember a time when I was working and had two small children, and though they weren't in daycare all the time, I did have a provider who took mine on a drop in basis. I would have NEVER asked for "special", because I'm not that sort of person...but I do remember a time when I forgot payment, I'm very embarrassed to say. I guess the difference is, I was mortified and rectified it immediately.

I also still talk to that provider, and after I started doing daycare, I apologized to her for any issues that she may have had because of me.

What do you think?

I'm going to probably sound like a witch here, but when my older child was an infant, we tried going with an unlicensed provider (rural area with few child care options). She assured us she was always legal, was a former nurse, etc. She was TERRIBLE. I wound up pulling my child from care after about 4 days - without notice - because of how bad she was.
1. She was legal - until the afterschool kids came
2. She took my infant grocery shopping with her in a city 45 minutes from our town and didn't tell me beforehand. My child was in care for 4 hours and most of it was strapped in a car seat.
3. Her friend would come visit every day bringing Dunkin Donuts. One day I came to pick up my child and this woman I didn't even know was holding my baby and I had to ASK for her
All of these things happend within a couple of days. In my case I learned what NOT to do when watching other people's children from my former provider. So I guess I was a nightmare since I left without two weeks.

[butterfly]

Ha, I'm been thinking about this recently actually. I was a first time parent, first experience with daycare... our provider didn't have written policies, so I kinda took things for granted. I never picked up late or paid late, but I didn't offer to pay her when she took a day off. Now I feel guilty about that. I can't say she was the best provider, but my kids were safe there (for the most part. ) She always had the TV going and did no learning activities...

I just wish that I did a little more for her to show her we appreciate her. I know that I really appreciate the little things that parents do to appreciate me. - a coffee in the morning, a soda at pickup, a thank you note, flowers, paying when I'm sick and I don't require payment....

Maybe I should send her a note to thank her now... maybe she'd think I'm off my rocker sending a note after all these years...

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

When I raised my Godchild, I had him in a MDO type of program while I went to college (I was 17). I was late a few times and there were some penalty charges. That was the only rule I broke and I feel awful about it. Young parents have a hard time thinking outside of themselves and their children. I notice this now in myself back then, and I notice it of others.

When misbehavior occurred, I was always extremely apologetic and he was in big trouble. This whole "kids will be kids" and "my child never does anything wrong" thing we have happening now horrifies me.