Parents Making Excuses For Behaviors

[Blackcat31]

Here's the deal; he was evaluated by a separate Child Development Center, and they said not Autism. I have spent 18 years dealing with it; I am pretty sure he is Aspergers (which they don't clinically calll Aspergers anymore). Then the school district got involved; to evaluate him for speech services and they said he qualifies for both speech and Autism. I don't think they can 'diagnose' Autism, but he has characteristics that make them think he would benefit from their program.
It seems like ever since the parents heard 'not autism', they don't want to talk about the behaviors that might lead down that path. It is not important for me to have a label for him; but I need some idea of how they think his behaviors will be handled most effectively.

I am frustrated because while we are waiting for speech services; his aggressive behaviors are getting more difficult to handle. I really enjoy this child, he brings me joy every day. His parents are really nice but I think they don't want to hear about anything that might make him appear 'in the spectrum'. I totally get this from an emotional level; but the reality is that the behaviors are not all being addressed. If he runs upstairs and hits someone when he is first dropped off, I get 'he might be hungry'.

I am just frustrated; I am human.

Hun, I am thinking that it might just be time for EVERYONE to move on.

If I were you, I would term this DCK. NOT because you don't care but because you do.

He needs to be somewhere that is adequately equipped to deal with him and the parents need to hear a fresh new OUTSIDE source state the same issues before they are going to believe anything.

It also sounds to me that there is some aggressive issues and that is what I would use as my reason for terming. I would never allow one child to stay at the risk of other being hurt.

It sounds like you have done EVERYTHING you could do already and the parents are already tuning you out so it might just be best for everyone to move on and make a fresh start somewhere else.

((((Hugs))))) to you for caring and for trying but honestly, you can't save them all and sometimes letting them go IS the best thing you can do for them.

[CedarCreek]

There is nothing you can you if the parents are in denial. You won't get help from them. His behaviors can't change without the appropriate measures. Which as much as I know you want to, you can't provide.

I had to term a little boy over this. He needed help beyond what I could give.

[Willow]

I agree that his parents sound like they are attempting to offer explanations, which are not necessarily excuses. Trying to offer explanations mean they are aware of his behaviors and know they aren't normal or acceptable. This is a good thing and means they aren't in denial.


Also, everything you threw out there behavior wise can be caused my a myriad of issues, not just Aspergers. His evaluation may be spot on and he may indeed not have it at all.

I read a bunch of articles recently that said Autism is one of the most over/mis-diagnosed disorders in children. I completely believe that.


I'd say if you do not trust the professional diagnosis he had, and you are not able to sort out a cohesive plan with the parents that you feel comfortable with, it is time to move on. Doesn't matter what a kiddo has going on, if the relationship with the parents isn't working it's time to acknowledge that with them and have them sort out a new childcare arrangement. Sounds like it will relieve an immense amount of stress on you and the rest of your group in general.