Should I Call CPS?

[busymommy0420]

I have a 3yo DCG that is on the naughty side. Rarely listens, or follows directions and has aggressive tenancies. I have given my notice...May 31st is my last day. I am allowing her to finish the pre-school year (and counting my days ). The last few days she has been saying things like Mommy spanked me, Daddy hit me, Daddy hit Mommy and things like that. She has no marks or bruises on her and never has the last 12 months. Today I texted DCM telling her what DCG has been saying. She said she did spank her for being naughty. It left me to wonder is the child being truthful about the other things? I then texted Mom and said if Mom and child needed help, if they were being hit then I could help them. DCM thanked me and assured me she and DCG are ok. I am going to keep an eye on things the next two months and pray for the family. I am a mandated reporter but am not sure the "evidence" thus far has warranted a call. What do you think?

[wdmmom]

There doesn't need to be EVIDENCE. There needs to be probable cause to visit. A child that says something like this is the probable cause. Please call your local CPS and have them investigate it. After all, it's their job!

[butterfly]

I very well could be wrong in saying this, but I wouldn't call CPS based off the information you provided. I have some children in my care who are story tellers. If I didn't know their parents better, I would believe some of the crazy things they said. If the child doesn't have evidence of the abuse, I would not report. If the child's behavior indicated a concern or if you saw bruises, etc. then of course report immediately; but otherwise I wouldn't put the family through the investigation that would follow after a complaint was filed. Just as I wouldn't want to go through an investigation involving my daycare, I wouldn't want to put a daycare family through that without some pretty solid suspicions of abuse or neglect. Follow your gut though, if you really suspect something you NEED to report!

[Willow]

Hit/spank often mean the same thing to a child at that age. Mom spanking her isn't reportable and neither is dad "hitting" her unless it leaves marks. Corporal punishment is completely acceptable for parents to administer in the eyes of the law as long as there isn't lasting physical evidence of it.

Just for some perspective as to dad hitting mom, my nephews told my brother and sister in laws that the husband and I were "beating each other up" when they were over to visit one night. Actually, it started out with a tickle fest with all the kids and then when he started up on me we got to wrestling around on the floor (he was a very good wrestler through high school and can manhandle me pretty efficiently, but also gently - still, I like to put up a good fight). They thought it was hilarious, but didn't have the words to describe what we were actually doing. He likes to smack my behind when I walk past him outside of daycare hours too, I'm sure that could easily be misconstrued by a toddler


Even if dad was genuinely hurting mom it's near impossible for CPS to do anything with that unless there is proof (in the form of domestic disturbance calls and witnesses).




Call if you feel there is actual danger, but don't expect much if anything to happen if you do based on what you've said she's shared.

[rmc20021]

That's really a tough one. I have a 3 yo dcg who last week woke from her nap and the entire afternoon all she kept saying was that her daddy called her a liar. She never said anything about it before nap, but seemed very upset about it and would not stop talking about it after nap. I believe she may have had a dream during nap that she couldn't get out of her head.

I'd just keep an eye on things right now and make sure nothing else comes up. As for asking mom, my daughter is in a very abusive relationship right now with an alcoholic and he promises her after every incidence that it won't happen again. She JUST got out of another relationship shortly before this one with a guy exactly the same...except the first guy's father had commited a very gruesome home invasion and murder several years ago and I don't believe the apple has fallen far from the tree.

Where I'm going with this, is even though both these situations are disastrous, my daughter will deny there being any safety issues. What do you think? Yeah...they won't always admit it even if it hits them in the face. So dcm may not have been honest about it, but also it is kind of a private situation.

Just watch for other signs and the first thing that shows any concern, then call cps. I wouldn't jump at it just yet.

[Crazy In Mo]

I wouldn't call. Spanking isn't against the law. You said she didn't have any marks or bruises so I don't think she is being abused. Go with your gut for sure!

[sharlan]

I would NOT call CPS. Spanking your own child is not illegal.

You called the mom, she said they were fine. Unless you see marks on the child, let it go.

My 3 yo tells me 100 times every single day that So and So hurt her. Dad pinches her, Mom pinches her, Grandma pinches her, the other kids pinch her. She has to show me every scratch, every boo boo every single day.

[Childminder]

Call CPS and ask them what they think you should do.

[Little Star75]

I once had a 4-yr old dcb who was being abused by his step dad and came in with marks. I took lots of photos and reported it to licensing and CPS, they visited older sibling at school to question her and of course she said nothing was wrong and that it wasn't true, so CPS I believed closed the case. These kids are no longer in my care but do pray for them wherever they are at that they are doing good,