Help with a child

[mbullette]

I am not sure what to think about a almost 3 year old boy that I watch. He does not talk and the only words he can say are mom and didi. He calls me mom all the time and it drives me crazy. We go over names with him at least 50 times a day if not more and he just doesn't get it. Mom says he is fully potty trained at home but he refuses to go here. He does not play with others at all and if they come to close he goes off the wall.

Friday he came in a not so good mood. I knew it was going to be a rough day. He started off by playing in his breakfast. He ate nothing at all. He just mashed it with his hands, between his fingers, threw it on the floor, rugs and my wall. I was in the kitchen getting a bottle for the baby and came in to this. I took his food away but made him help clean up the mess. He thought this was funny. I gave him a sippy cup of milk which he started drinking. After he thought I was not watching he started spitting his milk all over my rug and floor. I took his milk away and had him sit in time out. At lunch he did the same thing with his food and milk so I took it right away. I was standing right by him and he simply did not care. At afternoon snack time he played with his food and spit his milk all over the place. Took it away and then his mom came. I was in the middle of cleaning up his mess when she got here. I talked to her about this and she didnt care. She actually laughed and told me he is cute and they just cant yell at him. Umm no he is not cute when he does this.

I am concerned there are some major problems with this child. Not talking, will not participate in anything we do ever, art and craft time he just destroys his projects and the list goes on and on. I have talked to the mom several times and she told me that when he goes to school everything will be fine. She is a school teacher and I was shocked she said this. It's almost like she doesnt want to admit something is wrong with her child and will just leave it for the teachers to deal with.

This child is taking up a lot of my time and needs more one on one. Some others have told me possibly he is autistic but I am not sure. Has anyone had a child like this or any advice. At his age he should be saying a lot more then 2 words. All the kids here are didi and I am mom. He calls his mom and dad mom and his brother and sister are didi. The mom thinks this is cute also.
Help because I am lost!

[Luvnmykidz]

I'm not sure how much help I will be, but here's my opinion on it with a little bit of background of why I feel this way. It definitely sounds like there are some delays for sure a 3yr old should have a much larger vocabulary than that. My son called me mom (sounded like mum) and everyone else was boo-boo or didi. I asked the pediatrician about this at 12 months and told him because my dd is asd I was concerned that he just made sounds. He told me it was fine,but I knew it wasnt. I was previously a preschool teacher at a child development center for special needs and had taught a deaf child. My son to me sounded deaf. Anyways at 18 months I begged them to refer him to ENT or audiology because he still said very few words and it was extremely unclear. Finally they did and he failed his hearing test 3 x's. He had fluid in his ears was treated for a severe ear infection and was tongue tied so received speech. He's three now and talks so much you wouldve never known there was a delay. Also my daughter and several of my students suffer from sensory issues. The playing with food spitting out liquid is something they have all done. My dd received speech and ot and they focused on the sensory aspect a lot. She was on a sensory diet. This basically means to give her body sensory input several times throughout the day she also had a weighted blanket and vest that we used for her. Sorry to go on and on but it seems like hes having some issues and mom is seriously in denial. Have taught many teachers children and they all said they thought the delays would go away once school began for the kids. If you like I can give you a few things.to do with him to see if it helps makes him more at ease and your day not so stressful.

[Blackcat31]

Honestly you only have a couple choices. Either continue dealing with it the best you can or term.

I don't mean to say term so quickly but you have already stated that the mother is not at all concerned so with out her being on board or even being able to admit there is a problem pretty much leaves your hands tied.

This is a hard spot for you to be in since you aren't a professional with skills and/or training in how to diagnose this child.

It's wonderful that you noticed and care enough to want to help but you can't force mom to seek help. You can only offer your assistance in finding the appropriate resources. And again, only if mom is open to it, which it sounds like she really isn't.

[TheGoodLife]

Honestly you only have a couple choices. Either continue dealing with it the best you can or term.

I don't mean to say term so quickly but you have already stated that the mother is not at all concerned so with out her being on board or even being able to admit there is a problem pretty much leaves your hands tied.

This is a hard spot for you to be in since you aren't a professional with skills and/or training in how to diagnose this child.

It's wonderful that you noticed and care enough to want to help but you can't force mom to seek help. You can only offer your assistance in finding the appropriate resources. And again, only if mom is open to it, which it sounds like she really isn't.

I agree! I'm sure you might hate to term just because the child might be having delays, but if you think about it, you'd be doing what's best for the child in the long-run. He really needs care where he can be given more one-on-one or smaller group attention. His mom may not want to see any problems or warning signs, but you can only control your actions and it sounds like he needs more than what you can give him. Good luck!