Stop Irritating My DCD And Just Play Nice!

[providerandmomof4]

Happy Friday everyone!

I really need your help....I've been struggling with myself about a SAB I have as part of a sibling set. I have younger dcb full time and older part time. I am really doubting my own judgement because older dcb is constantly bickering and fighting with my dcd. I'm not sure if dcb is really that bad, or if it's just driving me nuts that he and my dcd are always at each others throats!
Has anyone ever termed simply because there was a personality conflict with their own children? I'm just soooo tired of the tattling and bickering. I've tried seperating them...giving them separate activities. They just always gravitate back to each other and they do okay for about five mins...then it starts It's making me crazy!! SA dcb is super high maintenance too! Has to be entertained every second and a new activity every five mins. He has to have my approval and attention every second. I really think that he is jealous of the attention that my dcd gets and then just tries to irritate her....Has anyone dealt with a situation like this before? I feel like I'm being petty because there aren't any serious issues....I mean what would I tell his parents? "I can no longer provide care for little Johnny because he is always and forever bickering with my dcd. And when he's not doing that...he is bickering with your younger son?" I mean, I talk to him until I'm blue in the face! WWyd?

[Blackcat31]

When you say dcd are you referring to your own child? dcd to me is daycare dad so it isn't adding up.

If you ARE referring to your own child, then the whole situation simply sounds as if the older SA boy is just not engaged and he is bored so he bugs others.

I would talk to the parents and ask them if they have considered finding age appropriate activities or after school care for him versus a home child care.

I had a boy like that once and he really wasn't a bad kid...just a bored kid in the wrong environment.

[providerandmomof4]

Yes...daycare daughter, oops!

I think your right. I guess I feel like a failure that I can't keep this child engaged and keep the two from driving me crazy with the bickering. And I also have the problem of what to tell his parents after watching him for a year. I guess I just hate it when a child doesn't work out......and I know his parents are the type to get mad and pull the younger sib out if I say I can't keep older for summer care. I can hear them now....."I just can't understand what the problem is....I thought you said you had activities for them?"
Well....I know what I have to do. I'm just not looking forward to hearing dcp response to my telling them that I am having trouble keeping him engaged in a preschool environment, kwim?
These are the parents that I had trouble with before with them being very disrespectful when I tried to exclude for illness. They said that as much as they pay me, I should be able to put up with a little crying......I'm sure they feel the same way about keeping him entertained. Yes....my own fault for keeping this family this long. It's now just a question of getting out of the situation before I do something else that I'll end up regretting because I need the money. And doing it tactfully.

[Unregistered]

Yes...daycare daughter, oops!

I think your right. I guess I feel like a failure that I can't keep this child engaged and keep the two from driving me crazy with the bickering. And I also have the problem of what to tell his parents after watching him for a year. I guess I just hate it when a child doesn't work out......and I know his parents are the type to get mad and pull the younger sib out if I say I can't keep older for summer care. I can hear them now....."I just can't understand what the problem is....I thought you said you had activities for them?"
Well....I know what I have to do. I'm just not looking forward to hearing dcp response to my telling them that I am having trouble keeping him engaged in a preschool environment, kwim?
These are the parents that I had trouble with before with them being very disrespectful when I tried to exclude for illness. They said that as much as they pay me, I should be able to put up with a little crying......I'm sure they feel the same way about keeping him entertained. Yes....my own fault for keeping this family this long. It's now just a question of getting out of the situation before I do something else that I'll end up regretting because I need the money. And doing it tactfully.

First, if the parents had been that rude to me, I wouldn't care about being nice. The comment about paying you indicates they think they are the "boss," and that wouldnt fly here. I wouldn't tell a parent that you don't have enough for their child to do, but I would tell them that your child care is geared toward younger kids and you will not be able to provide care for the summer - period. its not up for debate. Strongly suggest a program geared towards school aged children. If you know they are going to be upset anyway, just do it and be done. You can always work hard in the next few weeks to fill the spots if they pull both kids and then give notice. Good luck!

[itlw8]

dd darling daughter ds darling son dh darling husband

[mbullette]

I have termed for personality conflict but it was the right thing to do. The parents were upset but it was a lot nicer once he was gone. Do what is best for you. SA kids should be in after school programs geared towards their age.

[Blackcat31]

Yes...daycare daughter, oops!

I think your right. I guess I feel like a failure that I can't keep this child engaged and keep the two from driving me crazy with the bickering. And I also have the problem of what to tell his parents after watching him for a year. I guess I just hate it when a child doesn't work out......and I know his parents are the type to get mad and pull the younger sib out if I say I can't keep older for summer care. I can hear them now....."I just can't understand what the problem is....I thought you said you had activities for them?"
Well....I know what I have to do. I'm just not looking forward to hearing dcp response to my telling them that I am having trouble keeping him engaged in a preschool environment, kwim?
These are the parents that I had trouble with before with them being very disrespectful when I tried to exclude for illness. They said that as much as they pay me, I should be able to put up with a little crying......I'm sure they feel the same way about keeping him entertained. Yes....my own fault for keeping this family this long. It's now just a question of getting out of the situation before I do something else that I'll end up regretting because I need the money. And doing it tactfully.

You are NOT a failure. You are a caregiver for toddler and preschool aged children. Just because you provide care before and after school doesn't mean you are required to provide care for this child in the summer months.

I also agree with pp'ers and really think you shouldn't stress about losing a family who aren't at all respectful of your role or your business.

I edited and re-sent your letter (from the PM) and just want to let you know that you ARE making the right choice and you should NOT feel badly about it.

Don't let them make you feel bad either!!